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Old 07.07.2019, 15:53
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Happy - are you?

Are you happy?
What would make you happier?

Can you accept it if you yourself, or someone else is simply feeling down, with or without an obvious reason?
Do you try to put a smile on your face, or bring a smile to someone else’s face?
Can other people cheer you up when you feel down?

Do you have something to which you can cling (a belief system or an activity, relationship or object) even when you feel unhappy, and if so, does it help?

Do you believe that you have the option to choose to be happy, or is that fake?

Are your thoughts on this constant through your life, or do they change as you age, or change influenced by some other factor(s) than time?

I had a look at some of the writings of Australia's "Dr Happy", Tim Sharp. https://www.drhappy.com.au/

I read https://www.inc.com/laura-garnett/13...work-life.html and rather miss, in that list, the good feeling from getting a job well done, just that feeling for itself.

https://www.theladders.com/career-ad...ed-by-research I liked this as optimistic, yet it seemed do-able.

In particular, I’d like to hear whether thoughts about whether the answers to the above questions are different, for you,
  • living in Switzerland, from what they were while you previously lived in any other country, or
  • if you currently spend blocks of time in two (or more) countries, how being in one or in the other, and/or the shifting between them affects your happiness.
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Old 07.07.2019, 19:21
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Re: Happy - are you?

Happy is mist definitely a state of mind, Doropfiz.

But it is affected by emvironment and the people around you. I am more happy in the UK with the Lovely Wife and the cats, than I am here on my own in Switzerland. But I am not unhappy here, because I learnt in the past that being unhappy is... not good.

Yes, you can make your own happy. If you feel sad, force yourself to smile. In fact, force yourself to laugh. These allegedly release endorphins which bring about happiness. I can attest that it works.

I read once that the secret to happiness is found in having three things - and I do find it true.

Someone to love
Something to do
Something to look forward to

The someone to love does not have to be a significant other, it can be a pet, a child, even yourself. Something to do can be work, or it can be a menial task, such as tidying up, or a hobby like writing or painting or doing puzzles. Something to look forward to... well that is entirely up to you. Birthday? Family wedding? Holiday? Pub quiz... whatever.

Admittedly, I am currently unhappier than usual due to a 2 hour flight delay going from UK back to CH, but it could be worse. Nobody died. I have a beer. I am on EF...


Kind regards


Ian
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  #3  
Old 07.07.2019, 22:02
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Re: Happy - are you?

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Are you happy?
What would make you happier?

Can you accept it if you yourself, or someone else is simply feeling down, with or without an obvious reason?
Do you try to put a smile on your face, or bring a smile to someone else’s face?
Can other people cheer you up when you feel down?

Do you have something to which you can cling (a belief system or an activity, relationship or object) even when you feel unhappy, and if so, does it help?

Do you believe that you have the option to choose to be happy, or is that fake?

Are your thoughts on this constant through your life, or do they change as you age, or change influenced by some other factor(s) than time?

I had a look at some of the writings of Australia's "Dr Happy", Tim Sharp. https://www.drhappy.com.au/

I read https://www.inc.com/laura-garnett/13...work-life.html and rather miss, in that list, the good feeling from getting a job well done, just that feeling for itself.

https://www.theladders.com/career-ad...ed-by-research I liked this as optimistic, yet it seemed do-able.

In particular, I’d like to hear whether thoughts about whether the answers to the above questions are different, for you,
  • living in Switzerland, from what they were while you previously lived in any other country, or
  • if you currently spend blocks of time in two (or more) countries, how being in one or in the other, and/or the shifting between them affects your happiness.
No, I can't accept or accept someone else feeling down without a reason. I believe it is all about your health and wellbeing and if you take responsibility for yourself and live a healthy lifestyle there is no such thing as depression. Discipline is the key to health and happiness and following the trends of the modern world will always end badly for one's state of mind.
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Old 07.07.2019, 23:29
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Re: Happy - are you?

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No, I can't accept or accept someone else feeling down without a reason. I believe it is all about your health and wellbeing and if you take responsibility for yourself and live a healthy lifestyle there is no such thing as depression. Discipline is the key to health and happiness and following the trends of the modern world will always end badly for one's state of mind.
This is total bollox.

I just hope that you never experience the illness of depression - or any of the myriad of mental problems millions suffer from...
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Old 08.07.2019, 11:28
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Re: Happy - are you?

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This is total bollox.

I just hope that you never experience the illness of depression - or any of the myriad of mental problems millions suffer from...
The way you talk right here is half the problem, so intimidating!

Just so you know, I used to suffer from ('the illness') of depression, in fact only until a few years ago it was a continuous part of my set-up. For those here who immediately condemn me for my opinion why not take a look at yourselves? I won't go into detail but I had a fairly difficult childhood and only until I changed many aspects of my life (myself) including health, sleep, eating habits, etc did I realise how much better life can be and now I never get depressed.

Maybe some here might need to define 'depression' too. Just in case you might jump to conclusions try not to get 'depression' mixed up with mental issues, they are completely different issues.

Last edited by Hausamsee; 08.07.2019 at 11:39.
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Old 08.07.2019, 12:09
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Re: Happy - are you?

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The way you talk right here is half the problem, so intimidating!
If someone saying bollocks is so intimidating then you need to go through your previous posts and you will find MANY examples of you flying off the handle at people in a way that many delicate flowers such as yourself would find "intimidating". Don't be a hypocrite.

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Maybe some here might need to define 'depression' too. Just in case you might jump to conclusions try not to get 'depression' mixed up with mental issues, they are completely different issues.
Depression is psychological... therefore classed as a 'mental' illness!
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Old 08.07.2019, 12:12
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Re: Happy - are you?

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Maybe some here might need to define 'depression' too. Just in case you might jump to conclusions try not to get 'depression' mixed up with mental issues, they are completely different issues.
So you are saying a depression can't be a mental disorder?

Well that must be the most dumb post of the week, and it is only Monday.
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Old 08.07.2019, 12:20
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Re: Happy - are you?

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So you are saying a depression can't be a mental disorder?

Well that must be the most dumb post of the week, and it is only Monday.
Are you a psychologist?
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Old 08.07.2019, 13:44
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Re: Happy - are you?

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For those here who immediately condemn me for my opinion why not take a look at yourselves?
I have no problem with opinions. When it comes to politics, fashion or football. I have a lot of problems with people who demand that their opinion is valuable when it comes to scientific facts. See the whole global warming debate. No, an opinion is not as valuable as properly researched information.

You claimed that the whole concept of depression is just some people living the wrong lifestyle. Thats frankly speaking just idiotic. Its a well established and in fact one of the most common disorders of all. After my dad had a stroke, he also suffered a depression… and thats pretty normal. Its also a common side-effect of Parkinsons and God knows how many other diseases. Not because a patient wasnt cheerful enough or did not eat his veggies...
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Old 08.07.2019, 00:35
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Re: Happy - are you?

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No, I can't accept or accept someone else feeling down without a reason. I believe it is all about your health and wellbeing and if you take responsibility for yourself and live a healthy lifestyle there is no such thing as depression. Discipline is the key to health and happiness and following the trends of the modern world will always end badly for one's state of mind.
Absolutely clueless is the only thing that comes to mind. Hopefully you are young and will learn in time, otherwise... well.... sad is the only thing that comes to mind...
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Old 08.07.2019, 07:45
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Re: Happy - are you?

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there is no such thing as depression.
Every time you post about anything health-related it only re-enforces my opinion that you are the ultimate quack and wilfully ignore anything even remotely scientific.

I guess it's fine and your right as long as you don't go around influencing and thus posing a danger to others.
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Old 08.07.2019, 08:00
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Re: Happy - are you?

I tend to be more in the Jordan Peterson school of tonight in that the pursuit of happiness is a pointless goal.
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Old 08.07.2019, 08:10
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Re: Happy - are you?

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I tend to be more in the Jordan Peterson school of tonight in that the pursuit of happiness is a pointless goal.
I really agree with him on a lot of stuff, relying on external conditions without taking personal responsibility can backfire. Usually does. On the other hand, god is one big concept of external condition and Peterson is all about faith. This is one of the issues where Peterson and I disagree. There are a lot of external and internal factors that are impossible to influence, working with our own attitudes to them usually effects our level of happiness. For some people. Knowing oneself helps with acceptance and feeling happy and fullfilled, genuine.

I think "happy industry" is a big business, too.

Gratitude is mother of happiness. I'll open a gratitude thread for those who want to practice it. <3
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Last edited by MusicChick; 08.07.2019 at 09:35.
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Old 08.07.2019, 09:02
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Re: Happy - are you?

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No, I can't accept or accept someone else feeling down without a reason. I believe it is all about your health and wellbeing and if you take responsibility for yourself and live a healthy lifestyle there is no such thing as depression. Discipline is the key to health and happiness and following the trends of the modern world will always end badly for one's state of mind.
Oh jeez. You’re probably one of those who would tell someone who’s suffering from depression to just “go for a nice long walk to clear their head”
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Old 08.07.2019, 09:08
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Re: Happy - are you?

@Hausamsee, with all respect, your views on depression are from the late 19th - mid. 20th century. In the meantime, a lot of things in regards with mental health have been discovered. I think you should trust science more and share your personal views in a more familiar environment, otherwise you risk as coming across as ignorant or insensitive.

While changing your attitude to various external and internal factors can make a difference in your overall psychological and physical state, we should not dismiss depression as some sort of imaginary disease. (there might be many health fads, but this one it isn't)
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Old 08.07.2019, 09:27
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Re: Happy - are you?

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@Hausamsee, with all respect, your views on depression are from the late 19th - mid. 20th century. In the meantime, a lot of things in regards with mental health have been discovered.
Yes, namely that you’re not allowed to question anyone who claims that they suffer from depression.
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Old 08.07.2019, 09:31
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Re: Happy - are you?

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Yes, namely that you’re not allowed to question anyone who claims that they suffer from depression.
"Claims they have depression" or "is diagnosed as suffering from depression and under treatment"?

What do you mean by "question them"? Ask them if they want a cup of tea or just be a nosey sod who can't mind their own business?
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Old 08.07.2019, 11:03
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Re: Happy - are you?

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Yes, namely that you’re not allowed to question anyone who claims that they suffer from depression.
Go ahead Loz, ask away.
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Old 08.07.2019, 12:50
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Re: Happy - are you?

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Yes, namely that you’re not allowed to question anyone who claims that they suffer from depression.
Seriously? People do it all the time, usually those who have no clue about mental illnesses.


I am not a psychologist, but I have been treated (fairly successfully) for anxiety and depression, I‘ve studied and published on how mental illnesses are stigmatized.

I would never say „suffered from“ or „is a victim of“ any disease.

And, i‘m happy, too. I think happiness is largely the product of an internal frame. A lot of it has to do with autonomy, support and perception of the ability to cope.
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Old 12.07.2019, 07:45
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Re: Happy - are you?

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Oh jeez. You’re probably one of those who would tell someone who’s suffering from depression to just “go for a nice long walk to clear their head”
Well it worked for Forest Gump!

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