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Old 17.07.2019, 11:27
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Financial protection before divorce.

(yes I searched first)

I'll try to keep this short. A friend of mine needs help as she is too devastated to do anything right now. She is an American stay at home mom with a Swiss pass. He is a Swiss banker (wealth management) and they have three kids under 10. She caught him having an affair through the emails which is why she doesn't want to go near a computer right now so here I am.
He doesn't know she knows, but she wants a divorce. The problem is she is afraid that by the time the divorce is settled, or even long before then, that all the money in the accounts will be gone as this exact thing just happened to someone she knows. She says that because she is an American they do have a joint account but it's only for the main checking account. All other accounts are in his name (for U.S tax reasons, which we all know about ) and she says that normally she just lets him make all the investments and handle all the accounts since he is a banker. But he has always been vague about the details and amounts in the accounts which makes her suspicious.

Anyways, what can she do so that the accounts are safe from being moved? She says she doesn't want to make this divorce ugly and would rather not have to start paying lawyers yet. Would an eheschutz form work and how would one get one? I have no idea about this sort of stuff so I need help so I can help her. What is the easiest way possible for her? Any links please?
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:31
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

She needs to go and see a good divorce lawyer asap, because if her husband is a banker and she has been silly/lazy enough to let him see to every financial detail without ever having any involvement then potentially he is going to use every trick in the book to screw her and hide assets.

The trick will be to make sure she has evidence of him cheating and also not to rush into anything before she is fully prepared and has all of the information she needs.
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:32
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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The trick will be to make sure she has evidence of him cheating.
Why?

Tom
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:34
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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Why?

Tom
Use that towering intellect of yours and figure out why it would be good to have actual evidence before starting the conversation with him.

She can of course just raise it and hope he will admit it, but worst case he could deny it and try and maker sound crazy. Hard evidence would speed up the process considerably.
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:35
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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She needs to go and see a good divorce lawyer asap, because if her husband is a banker and she has been silly/lazy enough to let him see to every financial detail without ever having any involvement then potentially he is going to use every trick in the book to screw her and hide assets.

The trick will be to make sure she has evidence of him cheating and also not to rush into anything before she is fully prepared and has all of the information she needs.

She has the emails to confirm the affair.
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:35
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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Use that towering intellect of yours and figure out why it would be good to have actual evidence before starting the conversation with him.
Cheating is irrelevant to a divorce in CH

Tom
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:36
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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She has the emails to confirm the affair.
That's a good start if she has copies of them, it will give her the resolve she needs and (mostly) avoid manipulation of the facts. Now she needs to go lawyer up and get the best she can afford.
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:39
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

She could seek reconciliation and avoid the whole mess. My parents managed it after my dad had an affair. 30 years later they're happily married.
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:41
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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She could seek reconciliation.
She did that the first two times. Three strikes he's out.
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:43
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

How she saw the emails is highly relevant. If she got them by snooping on his phone or computer she could be found guilty of invasion of his privacy herself!
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:48
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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Hard evidence would speed up the process considerably.
No, it won't.

As I said, cheating is irrelevant for a divorce in CH.

Tom
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:50
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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How she saw the emails is highly relevant. If she got them by snooping on his phone or computer she could be found guilty of invasion of his privacy herself!
I am not sure how that happened as she didn't say. But if cheating is irrelevant to a divorce in CH then would this even matter?
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:51
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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She did that the first two times. Three strikes he's out.

It is very very rare for the problem to be other than 50/50 in a marriage
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:55
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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I am not sure how that happened as she didn't say. But if cheating is irrelevant to a divorce in CH then would this even matter?
(German)
https://www.20min.ch/schweiz/news/st...lesen-25542809

Very short: Wife finds password of husband and reads his emails and gets convicted for doing so.
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:55
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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It is very very rare for the problem to be other than 50/50 in a marriage
I fully agree but let's get back to point. How can she protect herself and have the accounts "frozen" before the legal divorce proceeding? And how can she do this without him knowing (at first) so he cant move the accounts?
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:57
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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That's a good start if she has copies of them, it will give her the resolve she needs and (mostly) avoid manipulation of the facts. Now she needs to go lawyer up and get the best she can afford.
If the resolve she needs is to be convicted herself after breaking the law, than yes it is a great start
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Old 17.07.2019, 11:58
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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I fully agree but let's get back to point. How can she protect herself and have the accounts "frozen" before the legal divorce proceeding? And how can she do this without him knowing (at first) so he cant move the accounts?
She can't.

Also how does she think to pay the bills and groceries if his salary would end up in a locked situation?
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Old 17.07.2019, 12:03
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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She can't.

Also how does she think to pay the bills and groceries if his salary would end up in a locked situation?
She wants to lock up the investments and assets gained over the last 15 or so years, not the checking account.

Edit: She had a high paying job in the medical field before being a stay at home mom and did contribute to the investments but like I said it was all in his name because of U.S tax laws.
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Old 17.07.2019, 12:04
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

If she has 3 kids under 10, and she is the primary carer of the kids, then she will be entitled to a monthly sum of money to take care of the kids, regardless of what her husband does with the assets. She has a Swiss passport and the kids too (I'm guessing) so it's not like they will be shipped out of Switzerland. Americans get so dramatic about affairs, which are not really a big deal. Far better to just accept the odd dalliance now and again than to break up the household and have everyone living a poorer standard of living.
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Old 17.07.2019, 12:10
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Re: Financial protection before divorce.

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If she has 3 kids under 10, and she is the primary carer of the kids, then she will be entitled to a monthly sum of money to take care of the kids, regardless of what her husband does with the assets. She has a Swiss passport and the kids too (I'm guessing) so it's not like they will be shipped out of Switzerland. Americans get so dramatic about affairs, which are not really a big deal. Far better to just accept the odd dalliance now and again than to break up the household and have everyone living a poorer standard of living.

I think allowing it to happen a few times already is not being overly dramatic. The issues go beyond the affairs and cheating if you ask me.
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