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Old 06.11.2019, 23:06
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Life after divorce in Basel

Hello,


I have a few questions on divorce in Basel. I'm not confident my lawyer is giving me correct information. I was hoping to determine if his advice is inadequate then i will find a new lawyer.



Before my questions some background. I was married just over 3 years before separation and have a child from the marriage. my ex decided to change career and started a college degree (which i did not support but couldn't prevent) but it finished after we separated and she continued with further education. i have started a new relationship and we want to live together



My questions are:


1. My lawyer says that if i live together with my girlfriend i will no longer have 1200 per month for subsistence but will have half of 1700. does anyone know where these numbers come from? Is he calculating it as a percentage in my specific circumstances or are these the standard amounts for minimum costs? If i live with my girlfriend, how does the court expect 2 people to live on less money? Is my lawyer correct about this?


2. Also related to living with my new girlfriend, my lawyer says i'm entitled to 1200 for rent. I want to have a bedroom for me and my girlfriend and a separate room for my child. can this 1200 be used towards a bigger apartment or will the court decide that this amount needs to be reduced if i move in with my girlfriend?


3. apparently my ex needs to work 50% when our son goes to school (i assume this means after kindergarten). If my wife is in college and is therefore not at home all day with the child then can this change the courts decision and they can ask her to work 50% already? I cannot have 50/50 custody because i work 100% and am not allowed to reduce to 80% because this will impact the money earned yet my ex can study and not work even though she also is not fully available to be with the child. is this really how the courts operate that they don't look at the real situation but just make arbitrary rule of waiting until child starts school?


Thank you
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Old 06.11.2019, 23:32
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Re: Life after divorce in Basel

I'm not a lawyer but from what I understand:
Your girlfriend is considered to be sharing the rent. That is why if she moves in, your subsistance amount will reduce. Your girlfriend should be self-sufficient, or contributing to the shared costs of the household (same as if someone rents a room) not costing you extra money...



If you can't afford a bigger apartment, you can't afford it... moving somewhere bigger only makes sense if your girlfriend is going to pay more of the rent...



The 'obligation' to work once the child is of school-age is not the same as her freely chosing to go back to work.


As for your 'can't do 50/50 custody' is that what the lawyer said, or what you are saying ? If your ex-wife decided to go to work, she could pay for chldcare...and you could also do that. If you shared week-by-week then on your 'care weeks' you would need to organise a Nanny to care for your child... for the hours you are not available.


Or, for example, child goes to chlldcare two days per week - on your care weeks, you take the child Wednesday after work, drop them to childcare Thurdsay morning, pick them up from Childcare Thursday afternoon, same on Friday then have them most of the weekend and they go back to the Mother on Sunday... so it's 50/50 for each week... you would then be responsible for organising alternative care (taking a day off) if your child is sick on your care days and cannot go to childcare...



Make sense ?
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Old 06.11.2019, 23:40
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Re: Life after divorce in Basel

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Hello,


I have a few questions on divorce in Basel. I'm not confident my lawyer is giving me correct information. I was hoping to determine if his advice is inadequate then i will find a new lawyer.



Before my questions some background. I was married just over 3 years before separation and have a child from the marriage. my ex decided to change career and started a college degree (which i did not support but couldn't prevent) but it finished after we separated and she continued with further education. i have started a new relationship and we want to live together



My questions are:


1. My lawyer says that if i live together with my girlfriend i will no longer have 1200 per month for subsistence but will have half of 1700. does anyone know where these numbers come from? Is he calculating it as a percentage in my specific circumstances or are these the standard amounts for minimum costs? If i live with my girlfriend, how does the court expect 2 people to live on less money? Is my lawyer correct about this?


2. Also related to living with my new girlfriend, my lawyer says i'm entitled to 1200 for rent. I want to have a bedroom for me and my girlfriend and a separate room for my child. can this 1200 be used towards a bigger apartment or will the court decide that this amount needs to be reduced if i move in with my girlfriend?


3. apparently my ex needs to work 50% when our son goes to school (i assume this means after kindergarten). If my wife is in college and is therefore not at home all day with the child then can this change the courts decision and they can ask her to work 50% already? I cannot have 50/50 custody because i work 100% and am not allowed to reduce to 80% because this will impact the money earned yet my ex can study and not work even though she also is not fully available to be with the child. is this really how the courts operate that they don't look at the real situation but just make arbitrary rule of waiting until child starts school?


Thank you
It is not the lawyer who calculates that but the "Lebenshaltungskosten" here. It being calculated based on that is a decision by the federal court. The level of "Lebenshaltungskosten" seem to be different from canton to canton (kind of makes sense). You titled the thread "...Basel", your profile says Zürich.

You can find numbers and info here.

No need to change the lawyer, he seems straight forward, honest and not hiding anything that could spring on you as a surprise.
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Old 07.11.2019, 09:18
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Re: Life after divorce in Basel

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Hello,

I have a few questions on divorce in Basel. I'm not confident my lawyer is giving me correct information. I was hoping to determine if his advice is inadequate then i will find a new lawyer.

Before my questions some background. I was married just over 3 years before separation and have a child from the marriage. my ex decided to change career and started a college degree (which i did not support but couldn't prevent) but it finished after we separated and she continued with further education. i have started a new relationship and we want to live together

My questions are:

1. My lawyer says that if i live together with my girlfriend i will no longer have 1200 per month for subsistence but will have half of 1700. does anyone know where these numbers come from? Is he calculating it as a percentage in my specific circumstances or are these the standard amounts for minimum costs? If i live with my girlfriend, how does the court expect 2 people to live on less money? Is my lawyer correct about this?

2. Also related to living with my new girlfriend, my lawyer says i'm entitled to 1200 for rent. I want to have a bedroom for me and my girlfriend and a separate room for my child. can this 1200 be used towards a bigger apartment or will the court decide that this amount needs to be reduced if i move in with my girlfriend?

3. apparently my ex needs to work 50% when our son goes to school (i assume this means after kindergarten). If my wife is in college and is therefore not at home all day with the child then can this change the courts decision and they can ask her to work 50% already? I cannot have 50/50 custody because i work 100% and am not allowed to reduce to 80% because this will impact the money earned yet my ex can study and not work even though she also is not fully available to be with the child. is this really how the courts operate that they don't look at the real situation but just make arbitrary rule of waiting until child starts school?

Thank you
Situations such as yours are the reason I have such a dim view of the antiquated partnershp we call marriage, but I think you need to maybe look at the long-term picture here.

If your ex is going to college this is a GOOD thing, assuming she isn't doing some BS subject with no practical value. It means not only is she taking control of her life and educating herself, but that a couple of years down the line she will be more able to find employment and thus more able to support herself, taking financial burden away from you and improving the quality of life of your son. This should be encouraged and if you want any kind of future civil relationship with your ex I would support her. However if she is studying 100% then it's not fair if you are completely financially supporting her so there you need to come to some arrangement and I would have thought you would have discussed this with her before starting the studies? There are many part-time courses available.

Most guys dream of having 50/50 custody of their only son and you want to reject that because your work is too busy? If you are too busy then hire a nanny for some hours a day? Ask your new partner to support you, assuming she knows you have a son? Make it work, because there are many families in the world who have a 1000x shittier situation than yours and they manage.
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Old 07.11.2019, 12:32
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Re: Life after divorce in Basel

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If your ex is going to college this is a GOOD thing, assuming she isn't doing some BS subject with no practical value. It means not only is she taking control of her life and educating herself, but that a couple of years down the line she will be more able to find employment and thus more able to support herself, taking financial burden away from you and improving the quality of life of your son. This should be encouraged and if you want any kind of future civil relationship with your ex I would support her. However if she is studying 100% then it's not fair if you are completely financially supporting her so there you need to come to some arrangement and I would have thought you would have discussed this with her before starting the studies? There are many part-time courses available.
I believe you got it wrong - he is the one in 100% custody of his child, and receiving subsistence, not having to provide it to his ex (or fund anything for her).
Or is it me who got it wrong? I am a bit confused myself too.
OP was not really clear on who is in custody of the child, other than indirectly talking about receiving subsistence. (point 1?)
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Old 07.11.2019, 12:53
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Re: Life after divorce in Basel

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I believe you got it wrong - he is the one in 100% custody of his child, and receiving subsistence, not having to provide it to his ex (or fund anything for her).
Or is it me who got it wrong? I am a bit confused myself too.
OP was not really clear on who is in custody of the child, other than indirectly talking about receiving subsistence. (point 1?)
quote OP: << I cannot have 50/50 custody because i work 100% and am not allowed to reduce to 80% because this will impact the money earned>>
He does not have custody.

OP: Unless that is your own decision that you don't want to lose out on money you could earn or you believe the people depending on you could not survive on less: The court can not stop you from reducing to 80%. (And wouldn't either). Specially if that would make it possible for you to have 50% custody it sure is worth a thought, depending on your personal priorities.
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Old Yesterday, 21:28
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Re: Life after divorce in Basel

Thanks very muh. This makes sense. Not being able to do 50/50 was based on an answer my lawyer gave me by email. He said I can't make a change that will reduce in less money for my ex and if i have to pay childcare then my minimum subsistence would go up meaning less money for her.
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Old Yesterday, 21:30
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Re: Life after divorce in Basel

Thank you. Main concern was if I should look for second opinion but if it seems legit then I'll proceed with him.
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