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Old 27.02.2020, 21:36
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Re: Raising your child in Switzerland. Hindsight and experience...

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You might find that they're not so self-centered and they actually enjoy helping their children and spending time with their grandchildren.
There's a difference between spending time with grandchildren and being forced to be free child care.

There is a difference and it's got nothing to do with being self-centred or not.
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  #82  
Old 27.02.2020, 21:49
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Re: Raising your child in Switzerland. Hindsight and experience...

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There's a difference between spending time with grandchildren and being forced to be free child care.

There is a difference and it's got nothing to do with being self-centred or not.
I'm sure some of them are happy to be helping their family.
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  #83  
Old 27.02.2020, 22:03
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Re: Raising your child in Switzerland. Hindsight and experience...

Yes, some are. Do you look after your grandchildren: Or do you expect your parents to do so?

We have friends both in the UK and CH who look after their grandchildren all day, every day- and no, they are not happy about it- feel taken for granted, blackmailed even- and absolutely exhausted. And they dare not discuss this.

Some of our friends look after their daughter's kids 2.5 days a week, and the son's the other 2.5 days. I know some who drive huge distances to do so, day in, day out. This is not the job of grandparents- helping, supporting- fabulous. 24/5 care + holidays, not.

My children would never ever expect this.
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  #84  
Old 27.02.2020, 22:12
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Re: Raising your child in Switzerland. Hindsight and experience...

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Some of our friends look after their daughter's kids 2.5 days a week, and the son's the other 2.5 days. I know some who drive huge distances to do so, day in, day out. This is not the job of grandparents- helping, supporting- fabulous. 24/5 care + holidays, not.
Sounds like each of them wants to make sure the other one doesn't profit more than her/him... the eternal sibling rivalry even when they're adults.....I really think it's too much for your friends.
Their children don't seem to care too much if their parents can, want, are physically able etc ....selfish.

It's one thing babysitting at that age a few hours or days here and there, but permanently....

Last edited by greenmount; 27.02.2020 at 22:25.
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  #85  
Old 27.02.2020, 22:37
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Re: Raising your child in Switzerland. Hindsight and experience...

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Yes, some are. Do you look after your grandchildren: Or do you expect your parents to do so?

We have friends both in the UK and CH who look after their grandchildren all day, every day- and no, they are not happy about it- feel taken for granted, blackmailed even- and absolutely exhausted. And they dare not discuss this.

Some of our friends look after their daughter's kids 2.5 days a week, and the son's the other 2.5 days. I know some who drive huge distances to do so, day in, day out. This is not the job of grandparents- helping, supporting- fabulous. 24/5 care + holidays, not.

My children would never ever expect this.
When my parents visit they stay with me so they're expected to pull their weight

Sometimes I ask them to help and appreciate it when they can.

Why are your friends scared to discuss it?
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  #86  
Old 27.02.2020, 23:20
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Re: Raising your child in Switzerland. Hindsight and experience...

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When my parents visit they stay with me so they're expected to pull their weight

Sometimes I ask them to help and appreciate it when they can.

Why are your friends scared to discuss it?
well of course - helping out, supporting is totally normal. And even more so when staying over on holiday, being hosted by you- rather than year round, day in, day out.

I mentionned it -emotional blackmail if the reason why they dare not discuss it.
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Old 27.02.2020, 23:40
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Re: Raising your child in Switzerland. Hindsight and experience...

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well of course - helping out, supporting is totally normal. And even more so when staying over on holiday, being hosted by you- rather than year round, day in, day out.

I mentionned it -emotional blackmail if the reason why they dare not discuss it.
Sounds like the parents need to grow a pair and tell their kids to finally take some responsibility for their own lives.
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Old 28.02.2020, 08:50
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Re: Raising your child in Switzerland. Hindsight and experience...

Here's one we've just had bite us. My daughter is studying to be a primary school teacher. One prerequisite is spending at least 8 weeks in the UK over the last few years. So, I've just had to go through all my travel bookings to prove that on average she's been in an English speaking country 10 days per year since 2012!
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Old 28.02.2020, 08:57
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Re: Raising your child in Switzerland. Hindsight and experience...

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Here's one we've just had bite us. My daughter is studying to be a primary school teacher. One prerequisite is spending at least 8 weeks in the UK over the last few years. So, I've just had to go through all my travel bookings to prove that on average she's been in an English speaking country 10 days per year since 2012!
What does it prove, tbh..Her fluency? Is it another theoretically logical thing that practically proves nothing?
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  #90  
Old 28.02.2020, 09:29
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Re: Raising your child in Switzerland. Hindsight and experience...

Well, with my first son almost at 2 yo, and my second arriving in April, I'll take detailed notes and report back here in 2038
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Old 28.02.2020, 09:37
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Re: Raising your child in Switzerland. Hindsight and experience...

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Here's one we've just had bite us. My daughter is studying to be a primary school teacher. One prerequisite is spending at least 8 weeks in the UK over the last few years. So, I've just had to go through all my travel bookings to prove that on average she's been in an English speaking country 10 days per year since 2012!
Your daughter needs to take the CAE (Advanced C1) or even better, CPE (Proficient C2) exam. Just because she can speak the language fluently, doesn't mean she has the skills to write a sophisticated piece of writing correctly. Taking the exam also allows her to see what her peers need to do AND what many of her students will be taking in the future.
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