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Old 02.04.2020, 22:44
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Re: Being cooped up with children

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Amazing parents allow their kids to run riot & can't control them. Perhaps social services need to take over !

it is a spoof FM- just a joke- but probably with a hint of the current truth with parents home educating
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Old 02.04.2020, 22:52
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Re: Being cooped up with children

This became more of an "I am so grateful I don't have kids" thread than what I was envisioning but here goes... (thanks mods for doing this!)

My kids are 7 & 9, we moved here last summer to join my husband (who had been here 2.5 years) - integration school was going great, they were being mainstreamed into the "regular" school, and then they closed the schools. My daughter (older) has the homework from both schools, my son only from Integration. I have been pretty open with discussing the non-scary parts of this whole coronavirus thing with them (this is a first for everyone, no one is an expert yet, look at all the helpers - but no TV/news in their hearing).

I'm not working, which is a mixed blessing, as I don't have an excuse to go hole away myself. My husband has taken over the dining room table for his working from home, and we've moved the kids' desks into the (not big) living room, as they can't/won't focus in their own rooms. The whining is daily and often nonstop - we made up a program (schedule) with lots of fun stuff and exercise and breaks between lessons - but they see me as the bad person "forcing" them to do homework when "they don't have school". We have never managed to get through a day when everything is "done" enough to get to some of the fun lessons we want to do (baking, knitting, piano). I understand about them needing more attention than usual due to the situation, but it's basically "mommy mommyyyyy" or "NO" to me from the time we get up until I give up around 5. My kids are not normally brats, and usually the mere threat of taking screen time away works, but "NO!" They are getting outside at least 2x day, and can play on the balcony, plus we watch the fabulous "P.E. with Joe" most days (or yoga).

God forbid I go to the kitchen to cook, or to the bathroom, they will not have done anything in my absence, except to pick fights with each other or be deep in a discussion about something minecraft related.

I've tried taking away tablets/playstation privileges, it helps but not enough. I've tried explaining to them that without doing German lessons, they're probably not going to be able to follow "regular" school full time next year (I have told them this might last 1-2-3 months and that no one knows for sure). I've bribed them with homemade goodies for znuni - nothing.

MusicChick I know in theory you are absolutely correct, but I can't seem to find a way to "get away" at all. It's a vicious cycle because when I do finally have time for myself (after 10pm) I stay up way too late because it's the only time alone I have, so I never sleep enough, cycle continues. My friends are either asleep or working at this hour, and I couldn't really make noise anyway without waking someone up. Also, I've tried almost daily to have them make a video chat date with friends (either here or back home) but they don't seem to want to talk to anyone. We do check in with my parents every day - although they often don't want to talk to them either.

Any/all advice and/or commiseration greatly appreciated. (and thanks to all of you who made it this far into my rambling...)
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Old 02.04.2020, 23:35
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Re: Being cooped up with children

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But are you dealing with upwards of 150 kids a day, differentiating, planning, marking, giving effective feedback and defending your kids' progress to a stranger? And working through break and lunch?

Mind you, teachers do have those short, short days and loooonnng holidays...
Seriously, short, short days?! The hours spent at school might seem short, but any good, conscientious teacher spends loads of time working at home, including weekends & holidays.
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Old 02.04.2020, 23:59
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Re: Being cooped up with children

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........My kids are 7 & 9, we moved here last summer to join my husband (who had been here 2.5 years) - integration school was going great, they were ...
Where is your husband in all of this? He disappeared somehow after the first sentence.

As he works from home, not travelling time, no overtime due to "the boss showed up a 16.50h to have chat" he can set his times.

I seriously think you should make a plan. Not about what you do when but who does whatever where with whom. Like set hours your husband spends time with the kids (while you are in an other room doing what ever your heart desires = not cooking and the laundry!!!!). A time (after lunch?) where the kids are in their room(s) doing their thing as long as it is a quiet thing for an hour or so.
Ah and as I mentioned cooking, there is nothing wrong with children learning about cooking, doing the laundry, about food (where does it grow? what time of year? naaa, not on a tree, try again) and all these things mummy does for them and will no more when they grow older. Let them learn about things they won't learn at school.
And the schooling I think should be a fixed time as well - just like in "real life" although I guess less hours would be perfectly okay. It might be better to do something like 2-3 hours fix in the morning (with a break or two - also fixed) and then forget about it for the day. I imagine you will get more done, better concentration from the kids than when this schooling is going on 'until mummy is satisfied with the result'.

As a friend said the other day:"Kids need guidance and structures". His description of the girls day was a bit too simple, knowing him it's probably a tad more exciting but basically it was about certain tasks at certain times (homework, showing results of homework but also setting the table etc.)

If you don't do things like these (what ever my post inspires you to, hopefully), you won't last a month.
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Old 03.04.2020, 00:37
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Re: Being cooped up with children

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This became more of an "I am so grateful I don't have kids" thread than what I was envisioning but here goes... (thanks mods for doing this!)

My kids are 7 & 9, we moved here last summer to join my husband (who had been here 2.5 years) - integration school was going great, they were being mainstreamed into the "regular" school, and then they closed the schools. My daughter (older) has the homework from both schools, my son only from Integration. I have been pretty open with discussing the non-scary parts of this whole coronavirus thing with them (this is a first for everyone, no one is an expert yet, look at all the helpers - but no TV/news in their hearing).

I'm not working, which is a mixed blessing, as I don't have an excuse to go hole away myself. My husband has taken over the dining room table for his working from home, and we've moved the kids' desks into the (not big) living room, as they can't/won't focus in their own rooms. The whining is daily and often nonstop - we made up a program (schedule) with lots of fun stuff and exercise and breaks between lessons - but they see me as the bad person "forcing" them to do homework when "they don't have school". We have never managed to get through a day when everything is "done" enough to get to some of the fun lessons we want to do (baking, knitting, piano). I understand about them needing more attention than usual due to the situation, but it's basically "mommy mommyyyyy" or "NO" to me from the time we get up until I give up around 5. My kids are not normally brats, and usually the mere threat of taking screen time away works, but "NO!" They are getting outside at least 2x day, and can play on the balcony, plus we watch the fabulous "P.E. with Joe" most days (or yoga).

God forbid I go to the kitchen to cook, or to the bathroom, they will not have done anything in my absence, except to pick fights with each other or be deep in a discussion about something minecraft related.

I've tried taking away tablets/playstation privileges, it helps but not enough. I've tried explaining to them that without doing German lessons, they're probably not going to be able to follow "regular" school full time next year (I have told them this might last 1-2-3 months and that no one knows for sure). I've bribed them with homemade goodies for znuni - nothing.

MusicChick I know in theory you are absolutely correct, but I can't seem to find a way to "get away" at all. It's a vicious cycle because when I do finally have time for myself (after 10pm) I stay up way too late because it's the only time alone I have, so I never sleep enough, cycle continues. My friends are either asleep or working at this hour, and I couldn't really make noise anyway without waking someone up. Also, I've tried almost daily to have them make a video chat date with friends (either here or back home) but they don't seem to want to talk to anyone. We do check in with my parents every day - although they often don't want to talk to them either.

Any/all advice and/or commiseration greatly appreciated. (and thanks to all of you who made it this far into my rambling...)
That's a very good rambling! A+!

I think I would: explain to the kids that from now on, you are reversing stuff. Confinement is a time for special measures! Eating dinner for breakfast, breakfast for dinner. That you'll now bake, knit and play piano and in the breaks they will teach you their school (they will not watch the time, will they). Daddy's takin' over the lunch time when they can eat verbotten things. Mommy will get out for her 1hr lunch break and do her mission for verbotten things outside. I'd aso suggest you to call a career coach in this hour of freedom and soulsearching.

We could have EF kids zoom together say Friday late afternoon. Kids are shy here, don't know if that would work.

You guys need a date. And you need him to parent too.
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Old 03.04.2020, 01:03
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Re: Being cooped up with children

Katerina, just in case this comforts you, I did read your rave, all the way. You write well; I felt drawn in to your situation.

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A time (after lunch?) where the kids are in their room(s) doing their thing as long as it is a quiet thing for an hour or so.
This. At least, that's what I hear from families which seem to be coping.

And yes, that each adult at home has at least some designated hours of responsibility for the children when their attention is not divided between the children and their "work from home".
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Old 03.04.2020, 07:20
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Re: Being cooped up with children

I was going to start a thread about being cooped up ! Thanks OP for doing so.

I feel that regardless of one's personal circumstances, lockdown is a huge challenge. I think this thread should be about sharing our challenges and trying to help one another cope.

Space at home is a real issue for many. I still think kids are better off in their rooms doing homework. Finding space for home office for adults can be more of a challenge.

Last year we decided it was time to downsize and we put our house on the market. The sale didn't go through but having too much space is not something to complain about right now.

We have grown children not living at home so it is just the two of us with our pets. Some days I wake up wondering what day it is....everyday feels the same!

We have a large garden to keep me busy, along with the usual housework. Been doing more cooking and freezing lately. I made a list of projects at home I can tackle. I have been cleaning out closets, and decluttering. Spring cleaning has taken on a whole new meaning.

So I guess my coping mechanism is to stay busy and healthy.
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Old 03.04.2020, 08:28
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Re: Being cooped up with children

I think the key thing here especially with younger kids, like mine, 7 & 10 .. Is don't stress it over school work.
Don't try to completely replace school at home, don't try to become the teacher.. Just keep some momentum, keep up the languages if that matters to your kids, do a bit everyday but don't try to do everything.

At this age kids spend a fair bit of time at school not doing 'hard work', doing more stuff, they do gym, they draw etc.
Remember 8.15 - 11.45 with a 20 min break
Afternoon is only 13.30 - 14.45
You don't need to fill the day with school, do other stuff too.

My teachers have both provided the weeks work in advance, split into each day and it's not a lot of work, because as I said, they do a lot of non-work too.
This week we got ours to finish everything by yesterday so they have no 'school' today.

We're lucky having plenty of space inside and out, I get that it would harder in a small apartment .. but take some stress out of the schooling for youngsters.
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Old 03.04.2020, 09:20
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Re: Being cooped up with children

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Seriously, short, short days?! The hours spent at school might seem short, but any good, conscientious teacher spends loads of time working at home, including weekends & holidays.
My friend who teaches at the local Gymnasium says his work load has increased 50% since remote teaching began. He was already working at least 9 hour days most days including teaching time. The additional work is the preparation of material that would normally be the subject of discussion, rather than written, and the need for individual time with the students. In the last five years, class sizes and number of classes have increased, coupled with less funding per child. And the duration for the Matura has been compressed - so even more work for kids and teachers.

My wife teaches primary (private school). She says her workload has similarly increased.
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Old 03.04.2020, 09:23
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Re: Being cooped up with children

First thing off the bat. The kids in question are essentially good kids…
Now as you know the dingy one-room-pokey-hole-sad-little-bedsit seems to be my thang, it was like that a long time ago in Basel with the crazy landlady and her mad scientist Dr. Nefario like husband and now I live in a dingy one-room-pokey-hole-sad-little-bedsit in a one horse village. The kind of village where the one horse has long been sold to the glue factory, in short this place is a dingleberry on the ass end of the world.
I live in the same house with the landlord and their two creatures. Like I said, good kids per-se but loud and without any kind of filter between brain and mouth. At this moment they are running in circles in their garden screaming at the top of their little lungs and dousing each other with what looks like lighter fluid. Then itīs clump, clump, clump up the stairs and down the stairs and through the hall giving the door a good bang before they are out in the garden again. And that times two.
At some point mummy gets annoyed and starts shouting, then the kids start crying, then itīs clump, clump, clump into their rooms for a good whine, that lasts for about an hour before they are out in the garden again.
So please donīt try to sell me the myth about the gay sound of children playing.
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Old 03.04.2020, 09:51
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Re: Being cooped up with children

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If someone wants to start a /rant thread about being cooped up with spouse/children I will be the first to subscribe.
Get them cleaning. Your place should be spotless now! And they have to learn where the clothes washing maschine is and what its like to clean the " s-bend "
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  #32  
Old 03.04.2020, 10:07
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Re: Being cooped up with children

Here‘s a tip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICE7Oak6sF4

Or this:

https://twitter.com/calceola/status/...315334/photo/1

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  #33  
Old 03.04.2020, 10:32
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Re: Being cooped up with children

Getting up this morning it finally hit me: I can't leave the country.
Europe (the continent) has always been my play ground and all you need to feel free is a car you can hop into any time, day or night.
I have enough space here, inside and out. Not roaming around Switzerland is not really a problem but not being allowed to leave it seriously gives me the creeps. To think many people live(d) their lives like this - shudder.

My friends suddenly live so darn far away.
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Old 03.04.2020, 10:59
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Re: Being cooped up with children

Exactly how I have been feeling- the concept of distance has been totally blown away. When we moved here, it was with the assurance that our daughters and grand-children in the UK were just one quick hop by plane, train or car away- for us to go there, or them to come here. Always knew in case of an emergency we could be there, or them here- that we could have the grandchildren stay safe, here- or indeed the whole family in this large beloved monster house.

No more... and this has been VERY unsetlling for me/us.

But apologies to OP, because this is really not the topic of this thread.

Courage
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Old 03.04.2020, 11:19
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Re: Being cooped up with children

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Get them cleaning. Your place should be spotless now!
Ok.

So.

It is either school or cleaning? Or only on Fridays?

Do you have kids?

(Aside of monsteras, btw, how did you get them to root? I need to do it with mine stubborn ones. Monsteras, not kids.)

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My friend who teaches at the local Gymnasium says his work load has increased 50% since remote teaching began.
This. It is probably true for any edu institution in the world. Except Sweden? So, parents - don't dispair. The university style of learning will come handy for your kids. In X years. Just dose it right, I've noticed that morning classes are so much easier, but thay has been true for normal conditions too..
  #36  
Old 03.04.2020, 11:29
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Re: Being cooped up with children

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My friend who teaches at the local Gymnasium says his work load has increased 50% since remote teaching began.
So too has the workload of a lot of parents - juggling working full-time with teaching full-time, cooking more, having to clean more, setting up video conferencing for music lessons and so on.

Not sure who is having it easy in this crisis - perhaps couples or single people with no children, who can easily work from home and perhaps who had long commutes that are no longer necessary.
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Old 03.04.2020, 11:31
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Re: Being cooped up with children

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Just bought a new winter home on 19th March, 6 timed the size of our studio with a 400m2 garden. Really enjoying being at home with my wife, shame we can't go ski touring.
From your posts in the past, you always seemed against buying property and were always advising people not to do it!

But it seems in reality, you're like everyone else.

Glad you are enjoying your new home.
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Old 03.04.2020, 11:50
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Re: Being cooped up with children

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Ok.

So.

It is either school or cleaning? Or only on Fridays?

Do you have kids? ....
Ahh, yes? What's wrong with that? At the boarding school I was Friday afternoon was no school but cleaning jobs for a couple of hours. Followed by "Schulgemeinde", the weekly meeting of the entire school at which you could discuss anything but the food and the smoking ban . The food is not a problem there anymore now.
And in fact we had a small cleaning job every morning after breakfast before the first lesson. Did not harm any of us at all.

Taking part in household chores should be a normal in any kid's life, imo.
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Old 03.04.2020, 12:11
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Re: Being cooped up with children

I'm starting to see "The Shining" less as horror and more as reality TV
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Old 03.04.2020, 12:25
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Re: Being cooped up with children

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Seriously, short, short days?! The hours spent at school might seem short, but any good, conscientious teacher spends loads of time working at home, including weekends & holidays.
Sarcasm.


I've been a Secondary School teacher for around 14 years. Well aware of the reality .


OP i feel your pain. But Hubby has to adapt too. Half the table only. You need to build in breaks for you. And bear in mind that at school your kids are not getting one-one-one tuition all the time. If you manage a couple of hours a day, all will be well. Your (and their) sustained mental wellbeing is the most important thing.
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