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Old 21.04.2020, 16:10
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child custody

Hi,

I am the father of 2 children and I am divorcing in Canton Vaud. The swiss german mother agrees now to a shared custody model (split -week, 50% each) but she says she might move back to Swiss german side after 1,2 years.

As I am fully against this, the swiss law says the issues will be solved by the Judge:
https://www.admin.ch/opc/fr/classifi...dex.html#a301a

I fear the judge will favour the mother (also because she is swiss citizen and i am not).

But I wonder... the children will not be asked? I heard they will be asked only if >12 y. old but I think - at least the older one - is now well integrated here.

I find it very unfair that the mother can take away the children whenever she will feel like. The children were born and raised here.
If so, I will have just 2 visits per months and half holidays or I have to move to swiss german side as well and follow her??

Question: Will a lawyer help me on this situation, whenever it occurs? Can I do something about it now or later?

Last edited by 3Wishes; 25.06.2020 at 17:52. Reason: user privacy
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Old 21.04.2020, 16:22
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Re: child custody

Maybe this would help

"If there is a significant change in circumstances, a reassessment can be made of who should be assigned parental responsibility. If the parents agree, the child protection authority is responsible for this assessment, and if the parent cannot agree, the court decides."

https://www.ch.ch/en/divorce-parental-authority/

I would assume moving across the country would be considered a significant change in circumstances regarding your agreement to share them 50/50.
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Old 03.05.2020, 03:34
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Re: child custody

Based on bitter experience, i canít stress the importance of finding a solution with the mother of your children, if that is in any way possible. I read that she has already agreed something with you and thatís already a positive for you. Unless it is simply so unreasonable that you cannot do it (as opposed to do not want to do it).

If you end up going to the family court there is no doubt, as the father you will end up getting screwed over. Their decisions can have no basis on any logic whatsoever. They do not consider anything that has gone before, they just make a ruling and if you are on the wrong side of it tough, itís the law. Do it or risk to ultimately go to prison. Doesnít matter how right you believe you are, they are not interested, a law unto themselves. Their focus is solely on what they believe is in the best interests of the child whether you can live it, pay for it or not. And if you het a judgement against you then be prepared to have your future options reduced by 99% and to wonder what the hell hit you and how on earth they made the decision that they did. And if thatís not painful enough, put 20- 30k CHF aside as a financial provision to pay for this part of it. BTDT.

You have a wonderful opportunity, take it. You can always discuss it with the mother again if indeed she does return to Germany. At least you have your foot in the door so to speak. You really donít want to play high stakes poker with the family court.

Bonne chance

SS
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Old 22.06.2020, 13:20
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Re: child custody

Rather than start a new thread I thought I would hijack this one.

I will try to be as brief as possible, my Situation is as follows:

- Divorced with a son. Custody is Joint with my ex-wife.
- I have visitation every second weekend.
- I have many concerns around my childs upbringing with his mother and her new partner.
[details removed]

Mediation is really not an option with my ex. She is quite sjmply impossible.

So depending on how things turn out with the School and what they decide to do I am leaning towards applying for sole custody of my son.

Does anyone know based on the above what Kind of Chance I might have?

Trust me I have been through the System many times and know the Unfairness of the KESB, KJZ etc....

Last edited by 3Wishes; 25.06.2020 at 17:55. Reason: user request
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Old 22.06.2020, 13:35
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Re: child custody

I would suggest that you try to gradually increase the time you can spend with your son - 4 days in 14 is not 50/50. It will be quite inconvenient for you - it will mean ensuring you have childcare and other systems in place when you need to work.


For the school related issue (lack of clothing) I would suggest on the one hand, ensuring he has adequate clothing and extra for when you are caring for him, and I would strongly tell the school to either address it directly with the child's mother, or to report it to child protection, as you do not have any power to change this situation right now. Did they address it with both parents or just to you ?



Certainly, you can be providing additional clothing for him - unless your ex does not allow your child to wear things from you at her house ?
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Old 22.06.2020, 14:12
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Re: child custody

Quote:
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I would suggest that you try to gradually increase the time you can spend with your son - 4 days in 14 is not 50/50. It will be quite inconvenient for you - it will mean ensuring you have childcare and other systems in place when you need to work.


For the school related issue (lack of clothing) I would suggest on the one hand, ensuring he has adequate clothing and extra for when you are caring for him, and I would strongly tell the school to either address it directly with the child's mother, or to report it to child protection, as you do not have any power to change this situation right now. Did they address it with both parents or just to you ?



Certainly, you can be providing additional clothing for him - unless your ex does not allow your child to wear things from you at her house ?
Thanks.

They have not addressed the issue of his clothing with her as yet. I think it will happen this week.

To clarify I dont believe the Schools concern is when he is with me but rather than when he is with her. It cant be with me I Always make sure he is nicely turned out with clothes that fit him. In fact I told the School I am very embarrassed by how he is dressed when I have to pick him up from KG or Hort.

I even sent them on Friday the excerpt of my divorce filing from 4 years ago where I had expressed concern about it back then just so they are certain it is not something I am neglecting. Ive Always been complaining to the ex About it. She didnt Change.

So sole custody would not be valid here as yet then? Rahter try to get an increase in time with my son?
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