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  #21  
Old 10.05.2020, 17:45
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

Sounds more to me as if your "friends" are using this to give you an ultimatum which they couldn't really do before. I don't care how scared or irrational they may be atm, to say they'll never see you again if you don't move back is flat out blackmail. If you move back, they're okay with you visiting? Nope, blackmail plain and simple; they see no other way to get you to move back so now it's time to make or break you. Not the sort of friends I'd want to keep, sorry. You're better off without them.
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  #22  
Old 10.05.2020, 17:48
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

Would it be possible for you to just quarantine yourself for two weeks, after flying back to the UK, before you see them? Did they even consider that as an option?
To be honest, it sounds to me like they view your friendship as being expendable, if they're willing to completely end the friendship simply due to their fear of the virus. I mean, you could at least still maintain a friendship over email, phone, etc. until the virus situation is no longer an issue (and hopefully that will be the case a year from now). It also sounds to me like they're trying to 'punish' you for moving to Switzerland. But this is your life -- not theirs. And they'd be selfish to expect you to revolve your life around them and to not move to a country that you're happier in.

This quote sums up something that I've come to learn the hard way, over the years...
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  #23  
Old 10.05.2020, 17:55
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

In my experience real friendships transcend time and distance. They don't survive ultimatums.
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Old 10.05.2020, 18:14
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

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In my experience .... friendships ... don't survive ultimatums.
This, completely. And it seems to me that often, it's the person who sets the ultimatum who ends up losing out.
  #25  
Old 11.05.2020, 17:58
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

"Before covid I would fly to the U.K. every 2 or 3 weeks to spend time with them I always promised that I’d never fully leave them and I kept my promise".


Well, I'm afraid I find that hard to believe, how could you afford to fly to the UK every 2-3 weeks when in recent threads you've claimed you have no money, you live in practically slum conditions at Birsfelden, you had to return to London to care for a sick relative back to, yada, yada, yada (I'd remind you that you also claimed to have a job you had to be well dressed for at one point and were asking for advice on suits). If you want to be good at fibbing you have to have a good memory and I'm sure there are plenty of other forums out there at the moment for you to create another persona on. I'd suggest you take Tim Peterson with you because I suspect you may be the same person.
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  #26  
Old 11.05.2020, 18:59
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

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"Before covid I would fly to the U.K. every 2 or 3 weeks to spend time with them I always promised that I’d never fully leave them and I kept my promise".


Well, I'm afraid I find that hard to believe, how could you afford to fly to the UK every 2-3 weeks when in recent threads you've claimed you have no money, you live in practically slum conditions at Birsfelden, you had to return to London to care for a sick relative back to, yada, yada, yada (I'd remind you that you also claimed to have a job you had to be well dressed for at one point and were asking for advice on suits). If you want to be good at fibbing you have to have a good memory and I'm sure there are plenty of other forums out there at the moment for you to create another persona on. I'd suggest you take Tim Peterson with you because I suspect you may be the same person.
Could it not be part of their mental health issues?
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  #27  
Old 11.05.2020, 20:04
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

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In my experience real friendships transcend time and distance. They don't survive ultimatums.
Yes, that’s true. And an unpleasant surprise when a “friend” is lost due to an ultimatum.
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  #28  
Old 11.05.2020, 20:20
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

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Could it not be part of their mental health issues?

We don't know if this person is genuine, so I'm afraid I'm a bit sceptical about this. Sorry, but revisiting the posts makes me think this is just trolling.
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  #29  
Old 11.05.2020, 20:28
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

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"Before covid I would fly to the U.K. every 2 or 3 weeks to spend time with them I always promised that I’d never fully leave them and I kept my promise".


Well, I'm afraid I find that hard to believe, how could you afford to fly to the UK every 2-3 weeks when in recent threads you've claimed you have no money, you live in practically slum conditions at Birsfelden, you had to return to London to care for a sick relative back to, yada, yada, yada (I'd remind you that you also claimed to have a job you had to be well dressed for at one point and were asking for advice on suits). If you want to be good at fibbing you have to have a good memory and I'm sure there are plenty of other forums out there at the moment for you to create another persona on. I'd suggest you take Tim Peterson with you because I suspect you may be the same person.
Yup, his stories change each and every time. I think he is either a very subtle troll or an attention-seeking fantasist.
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  #30  
Old 11.05.2020, 20:40
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

I notice whoever it is disappears from the forum for a bit when they get told off, then weeks later they return. TBH, I thought that was it done with after the last time. The Tim Petersen persona seems to start threads to do with jobs and financial stuff that get deeper and stranger the more people reply to them. It would be better if people didn't rise to the bait, then again it wouldn't surprise me if another persona turns up at some point
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  #31  
Old 11.05.2020, 20:49
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

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I notice whoever it is disappears from the forum for a bit when they get told off, then weeks later they return. TBH, I thought that was it done with after the last time. The Tim Petersen persona seems to start threads to do with jobs and financial stuff that get deeper and stranger the more people reply to them. It would be better if people didn't rise to the bait, then again it wouldn't surprise me if another persona turns up at some point
Someone could show up saying they are the true crown prince of Uganda, banished to Switzerland by their evil uncle and looking for a way to reclaim their throne, and a certain set of members on this forum would always reply each and every time as though it were a perfectly normal question.
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  #32  
Old 11.05.2020, 20:51
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

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We don't know if this person is genuine, so I'm afraid I'm a bit sceptical about this. Sorry, but revisiting the posts makes me think this is just trolling.

No, we really don't know but if he does have a traumatic brain injury, that would certainly account for the changes and inconsistencies in his posts rather than deliberate fibs and trolling. He doesn't seem to be very old and perhaps he is just using this forum as a way of reaching out because he is lonely. While all his posts are very polite (and far politer and nicer than some other posters whose names I won't mention!) I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt
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  #33  
Old 11.05.2020, 21:13
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

I do take your point, but if someone is feigning mental illness as some sort of joke then that isn't on. Sorry, too many things don't ring true, but if there is any truth then would this person not be better on a forum for mental health as it would be more geared up to their needs?

And believe me, I've even seen trollers on cancer forums
  #34  
Old 11.05.2020, 22:51
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

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I notice whoever it is disappears from the forum for a bit when they get told off, then weeks later they return. TBH, I thought that was it done with after the last time. The Tim Petersen persona seems to start threads to do with jobs and financial stuff that get deeper and stranger the more people reply to them. It would be better if people didn't rise to the bait, then again it wouldn't surprise me if another persona turns up at some point
It is not like the interwebz will run out of the strange characters to supply us with, they do not have to recycle but be genuine. Maybe you are correct but it so far does not seem so.
  #35  
Old 12.05.2020, 12:55
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

Friends don't do that to friends. It is emotional blackmail. If they are frightened, which I can understand, then they should be wishing you well and explain when things are back to normal they'll be happy to see you again. If your life is now here then think of yourself and look to make new friends where you now live.
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  #36  
Old 12.05.2020, 14:15
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

your friends sound crazy and also whiny. I think theyre out of order yes. well out of order in fact. whiny as well wtf, like boo hoo whiny. and whats with its either us or swizterland. wow! I thought it was raging pregnancy hormones until you said your friends are blokes and now im like wtf. they need to pull themselves together and told stories about what it was like in the wartime, sensitive little cherubs.
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Old 12.05.2020, 14:21
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

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.. they need to pull themselves together and told stories about what it was like in the wartime, sensitive little cherubs.
That was hilarious.

But would people you go out of your way for and fly to see them every couple of weeks be considered sensitive little cherubs family, or sensitive little cherubs friends...If you get them think they are family and then not so much anymore because things got better here, you will hear about it from them. I think? I don't know.
  #38  
Old 12.05.2020, 14:44
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

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In my experience real friendships transcend time and distance. They don't survive ultimatums.
This but in big red letters. I have friends that I have not seen in over a decade but believe me, if they needed me, I would move mountains for them. There are a few friends that I only see a few times a year but when I do, it's like we've not been apart. These are the friendships I cherish deeply, because I really suck at the whole regular socialising thing.

Because of how my mind works, your friends seem incredibly unreasonable to me. However, as others have said, everyone is a bit gaga at the moment, so maybe don't make any permanent decisions or say anything that you can't easily amend later on. If you are successfully building a life here in Switzerland, then I would go for that, after all, your friends are not paying your rent or into your pension fund.

Overall, I feel safer here with regard to the COVID-19 situation than I would in the UK, despite having family there and having lived there for three years. Our government is not perfect but they don't do nonsense like announcing on a Sunday evening that everyone should head back to work the next day if they can't work from home but not to use public transport. I mean - WHAT?

I wouldn't have the patience to deal with friends like yours but I guess the important thing is to make them feel heard and acknowledged while not giving into their manipulation.
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Old 12.05.2020, 14:52
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

These don‘t sound like friends at all. And whose life are you living? Yours or theirs??
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Old 13.05.2020, 14:21
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Re: Are my friends being out of order

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Yes, that’s true. And an unpleasant surprise when a “friend” is lost due to an ultimatum.
That’s when you realise that they weren’t really friends at all and you’re better off without them.
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