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Old 26.06.2020, 08:14
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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not a month ago I spoke to a Swiss guy and he told me rather jokingly that he should have shot his ex and sit out the term rather than going the official way because in the end it cost him some 80k CHF(mainly from debts his ex has accrued) and it was finally all over after 9 years from the beginning.
After only one year of marriage and she's already in another relationship, that would be what she deserves.

My advice would be to get her the hell out of your life as fast as possible. Move on and find someone who respects you and as far as I see, you would be a great husband/father and once this is over, find someone you deserve and look forward to enjoying every day of your own family.
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Old 26.06.2020, 13:03
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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not a month ago I spoke to a Swiss guy and he told me rather jokingly that he should have shot his ex and sit out the term rather than going the official way because in the end it cost him some 80k CHF(mainly from debts his ex has accrued) and it was finally all over after 9 years from the beginning.
Asking for a friend.....how these debts where contracted? Are contracts or debt signed by one spouse a liability to the other spouse automatically? For example, the apartment rental requires both signatures. In this case it is evident that both are liable. In contrast, a mobile phone contract doesn't require the signature of the other spouse. What happens in case of non-payment?

Last edited by Axa; 26.06.2020 at 13:38.
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Old 26.06.2020, 14:40
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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Asking for a friend.....how these debts where contracted? Are contracts or debt signed by one spouse a liability to the other spouse automatically? For example, the apartment rental requires both signatures. In this case it is evident that both are liable. In contrast, a mobile phone contract doesn't require the signature of the other spouse. What happens in case of non-payment?
Yes, if you married under "joint property" which is the standard. So if you don't chose you own contract, that's the case.

This is one reason a bank my not give on part a loan without the other agreeing.
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Old 26.06.2020, 15:18
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

Thank you everyone for the support! I have not expected so much understandin?

Could someone advise how can I thank for a message?


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Denis, you also need to take into account that your wife will get half your pension until the divorce is finalised.If you are a high earner and she isn’t your pension payments will be higher than hers. Only the pension payed during the marriage will be split.
I did not know that, thank you Oldhand , but im still missing a lot for a pension, as far as I am only 1.5 years in Switzerland.
I am earning 5k netto and my new-ex 30% less The pension payments in the previous country of residence were from none to 50 CHF per month, as
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Old 26.06.2020, 15:26
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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Yes, if you married under "joint property" which is the standard. So if you don't chose you own contract, that's the case.
Joint property is NOT the default case, the default is joint for assets acquired during the marriage only.

Tom
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  #26  
Old 26.06.2020, 15:27
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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Welcome to the forum.

Congrats for ending in amicable terms but there are several ramifications that make the whole thing complicate and risky.

As oldhand mentioned above the retirement funds will be split until the the divorce is signed. If you agree to not divorce, it's not hard to assume you'll also agree to be solidarmieter in her new apartment. Anything that happens there and you're liable for it. If anything turns bad, she has enormous leverage over you with the solidarmieter thing.

Also, there's the part about faking the marriage. Even an unintentional mistake while she applies for the permanent permit and you're in for some questioning. It may also be intentional, if someone wants to hurt you, the deceiving authorities angle can be used against you. Are you comfortable giving this powerful leverage to other people?

Maybe I'm a horrible person that only thinks about awful outcomes. Albeit, be careful about who you give so much control over your life for the next years. There should be a more intelligent way to support apart from pretending to be still married.
Thank you for pointing that out, now my step one-is that she is renting an apartment, and in the anmeldungsformular i have not stated my data, but still better so even if I have to, than living together further. She is very much concentrated now in staying in SWTZ, and will have to behave wisely, as the other „romeos“ also ran away
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Old 26.06.2020, 15:34
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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So you moved over here, and she came with you. As concubine or what?

FWIW, I know someone who was divorced within a year of coming here, but was granted leave to stay on the grounds of integration (after appeal).

Your wife has already been here five years, and on that basis she might be able to convince the authorities to give her a permit in her own right.
Please excuse my English, we are both around 1-1,5 years here, our permits B are valid further for 3,5-4 years.

I came with a contract, she- to merry and family reunification.
Now she is integrated in terms of job and language.

Her job has average complecity in production cycle, big company, 40 other people do exactly the same.

Would be interesting to know if or when she would be asked to leave the country, if I inform the authorities „as it really is“.
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Old 26.06.2020, 15:38
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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Thank you everyone for the support! I have not expected so much understandin?

Could someone advise how can I thank for a message?



I did not know that, thank you Oldhand , but im still missing a lot for a pension, as far as I am only 1.5 years in Switzerland.
I am earning 5k netto and my new-ex 30% less The pension payments in the previous country of residence were from none to 50 CHF per month, as
Once you've made 10 posts or so and been a member for 2 weeks, the Magic Thanks button appears.
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Old 26.06.2020, 15:44
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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I would strongly recomend speaking to a lawyer now, ...

Some examples of things I would want to know are...[LIST][*]What happens if your wife gets pregnant from her new partner (or from you - probably unlikely). Could you be obligated to provide child support? [*]Would you be obligated to give your wife a larger share of your pension fund if she stops working to have a baby? [*]Would you be obligated for more support for your wife if she loses her job?
Thank you JazhI have not looked at it that way. She is alone not a bad person and wants to be happy just as everyone else, but can potentially make horribly wrong decisions as I have already learned.

As I believe that people quite often attract other people with the similar qualities, If she would find such a couple, then the danger doubles.

Probably from the next salary I will pay 600 to a loyer or what it costs
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Old 26.06.2020, 15:46
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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Joint property is NOT the default case, the default is joint for assets acquired during the marriage only.

Tom
Yes! You are correct! Very sorry about that.
Still liable for the other's debts though - the one the other accumulates during the marriage.
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Old 26.06.2020, 15:50
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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Thank you for pointing that out, now my step one-is that she is renting an apartment, and in the anmeldungsformular i have not stated my data, but still better so even if I have to, than living together further. She is very much concentrated now in staying in SWTZ, and will have to behave wisely, as the other „romeos“ also ran away
You do.not.put.your.data.in.her.new.rental.contract!

The family flat is the one you seem to stay in. One "family flat" is bad enough as it can't be cancelled by just one (not necessary if you stay there) and both are liable for the rent.

Once she moved out, you just pay the full rent and live in peace. But you do not want to be liable for an additional flat, believe me!
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Old 26.06.2020, 16:04
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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Protect yourself, not her. I'm sorry to say it, but what she's done is really shitty....

Get proof of her affair (emails, etc.). Keep it.

And yes, get a lawyer.

Protect yourself. Focus on yourself. Focus on moving ahead... You're better off alone than with someone who doesn't deserve you.

And I really do wish you the very best.
Thanks so much for this words, we are both grown up from in a poor country and we have leaved together 6 happy years in very unperfect life situations, living with my parents, she was helping my mom, helped in everything to me and so on.

And after we moved here and got something that almost everyone here has in terms of job and life conditions plus weekend trips, fun, expensive presents, going-out and so on

Then relationship turned in an enormous lie.

Relationship psychologist said to me that a certain deficite of good actions from one side in relationships should be always contained. Otherwise it is like if someone has not done his job and got a bonus instead of critic.
and then again a bonus.

From his 10 years experience such things start to happen, when one side is „overkind", "overgenerous", idealises the partner and so on
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Old 26.06.2020, 16:08
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

You should turn to the court



https://www.ehescheidung.ch/trennung...atte/eheschutz


If you cannot prove that you have lived separately for 2 years, you cannot file for divorce, and you have to support her during this time.



You should not care for her, her new partner will do this. It is possible that she tries to lull you, I know such a case where she was hiding many things and kept him "warm" with phrases like "oh I am not sure yet, maybe I come back to you" and things like that. Women can be very mean and egoistic.
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Old 26.06.2020, 16:21
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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After only one year of marriage and she's already in another relationship, that would be what she deserves.

My advice would be to get her the hell out of your life as fast as possible. Move on and find someone who respects you and as far as I see, you would be a great husband/father and once this is over, find someone you deserve and look forward to enjoying every day of your own family.
Thank you for supportive words Hauseamsee,
we have lived together quite long abroad before.
Im going further with some psychological damage for 6 happy years which lead to this.

I would say I could forgive everything for a partner, even if she steels my pensionsfund or shoots me in the foot.

But betrayal is the only key to end everything immediately.
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Old 26.06.2020, 16:27
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

I'm not sure what help this will be, but I found this page about divorce in Switzerland that discusses the laws, process, etc.:

https://www.expatica.com/ch/living/l...erland-106669/

It says:
----------
"The courts accept three kinds of petitions for divorce: joint petitions from both partners; divorce by petition from one spouse after having lived apart; divorce by petition from one spouse because continuation of the marriage is an unreasonable expectation.

Spouses must detail why they cannot remain in the marriage. The court will only permit serious reasons such as spousal abuse, disreputable or dishonorable moral conduct, or criminal activity."
----------

So according to that page, at least, it looks like it might be possible for the court to grant your divorce (without you needing to first live apart) due to her having had an affair, which perhaps they would consider "dishonorable moral conduct" (?).

Also, there is apparently an organization here that helps expats in Switzerland dealing with family issues such as divorce:

http://www.binational.ch/en/?Information
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Old 26.06.2020, 16:54
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

So it was actually a long term relationship. And all things look different, eih?

It is actually not uncommon for people getting married after being a couple for a long time to split up in the first few years of a marriage. As a friend always joked "you get married within the first three months or not at all". LOL. (He never did, had long relationships).

However, your relationship seems to have been influenced by drastic outside changes as well, circumstances changed, you both definitely changed in the new environment and circumstances, not to mention being a long(ish) way from home, family and your own language maybe.

So it seems to me, a good relationship has reached it's end. She should have talked to you instead of cheating and creating precedents, no doubt, but for some people that is more difficult.
You have not much to split up and you have no children. It can all be done easily. The permit will be mostly her problem, just talk friendly about her when asked by police (they do that, BTDT) and emphasize the length of the relationship before the marriage. (By the way, nobody cares here "who's fault it was", the judge explicitly does not want to hear about this).

For the moment her moving out is all that needs to be done. You could write and both sign a paper on which you state the date of separation starting.

Living with your family, looking after your mother made her part of your family. Part on friendly terms, be grateful for the good time and the huge jumps in life you've taken together. Who knows if you were here now without having had her on your side and vice versa?

That's my advice, under the "new" circumstances.
All the best.
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Old 26.06.2020, 17:37
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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So it was actually a long term relationship. And all things look different, eih?

....

The permit will be mostly her problem, just talk friendly about her when asked by police (they do that, BTDT) and emphasize the length of the relationship before the marriage.
All the best.
Curley, back home were mostly only chatting through social media,
which i did not take seriously, but it changed rapidly in swtz...
Probably some people are capable of doing very good and bad things at the same time...
she was not so much looking after mom, indeed helped her in some stuff a few times.
Psychologist also have said it is my fault of her loosing interest in me, I could agree with that.

I dont get why should I say to the police that weve lived for long before?
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Old 26.06.2020, 17:48
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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Curley, back home were mostly only chatting through social media,
which i did not take seriously, but it changed rapidly in swtz...
Probably some people are capable of doing very good and bad things at the same time...
she was not so much looking after mom, indeed helped her in some stuff a few times.
Psychologist also have said it is my fault of her loosing interest in me, I could agree with that.

I dont get why should I say to the police that weve lived for long before?
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Thank you for supportive words Hauseamsee,
we have lived together quite long abroad before.
Im going further with some psychological damage for 6 happy years which lead to this.

I would say I could forgive everything for a partner, even if she steels my pensionsfund or shoots me in the foot.

But betrayal is the only key to end everything immediately.
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Thanks so much for this words, we are both grown up from in a poor country and we have leaved together 6 happy years in very unperfect life situations, living with my parents, she was helping my mom, helped in everything to me and so on.

And after we moved here and got something that almost everyone here has in terms of job and life conditions plus weekend trips, fun, expensive presents, going-out and so on

Then relationship turned in an enormous lie.

Relationship psychologist said to me that a certain deficite of good actions from one side in relationships should be always contained. Otherwise it is like if someone has not done his job and got a bonus instead of critic.
and then again a bonus.

From his 10 years experience such things start to happen, when one side is „overkind", "overgenerous", idealises the partner and so on
Well, your posts are confusing. So never mind my advice.
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Old 26.06.2020, 17:57
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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Well, your posts are confusing. So never mind my advice.
I dont deny living together before, its a fact. My question was more-

"why this is important for police to know it? what are the consequences if they don't ask, or i dont say"
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Old 26.06.2020, 18:15
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Re: Divorce after one year of marriage/leaving switzerland

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So according to that page, at least, it looks like it might be possible for the court to grant your divorce (without you needing to first live apart) due to her having had an affair, which perhaps they would consider "dishonorable moral conduct" (?).
No, that doesn't count.

Tom
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