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Old 18.08.2020, 20:15
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Re: Children turning 18 - staying with parents

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This is the UK were talking about and UK expectations ( not how it is or was in CH and CH expectations or some other places in mainland Europe )
As for - people in midlife left penniless from a desire to own their own home.
Feel free to explain how you can apply for Swiss citizenship for your children from abroad. Including references to the relevant laws and other regulations.
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Old 18.08.2020, 20:56
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Re: Children turning 18 - staying with parents

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This is the UK were talking about and UK expectations ( not how it is or was in CH and CH expectations or some other places in mainland Europe )
As for - people in midlife left penniless from a desire to own their own home.

Quite the contrary as again were talking about the UK here and the fact
that those same parents or grandparents were sitting in homes where house prices often doubled or even tripled in value within a 'working life
time' particularly if they bought their house in 'the Golden triangle' of
London & the South East during the 1970's and early 80's and again
during the late 1990's.

From personal experience, my brother bought a two bed end of terrace house with garden & garage for 82,000 near Southampton in November 1999, sold it for 210,000 in October 2015.

Therefore no doubt many couples nearing retirement would simply downsize
where their homes accrued in value like the one above with a tidy nest egg
left over.

Although I hasten to add that the old adage 'location, location, location'
& timing was another factor ( as house prices collapsed for a time in the early 1990's when Britain endeavoured to join the European Exchange rate mechanism and BOE interest rates soared to 15 per cent to support the pound during the ERM crisis ) also comes into play and therefore many
Brits experience of rising UK house prices depended on which area of the UK they live in.


Whether such a situation will occur again for the young generation in the

UK Post-Covid, its hard to say.
Swiss mortgages appear cheap at it's unusual to pay off more than 15% + 20% deposit so 65% debt remains outstanding. This is why it becomes unaffordable in old age or the kids cant afford to inherit. As Switzerland has had very little inflation, prices are only slightly above 1980's peak, rather than a multiple of. My FTB purchase aged 21 in London for 40,000 is worth more than 20 times that today. I Sold it for 94,950 18 months later.
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  #23  
Old 19.08.2020, 10:21
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Re: Children turning 18 - staying with parents

Still work in progress understating everything but for sure one factor will be how long my children continue their studies for & when they become financially independent.

Assuming all of them study until 25 years old and my youngest is 14 so that is another 11 years -minus- I reach 65 in 6 years so that leaves 5 years to cover.

One option is that I have to work until I am 70, here is a good link about postponed retirement.

Then there is the question of which of the children would want to live with me or go into student accommodation.

One piece of information I got was that the money I pay towards the children goes to them once they reach 18 and not their mother. Note to me is to tackle SCARPA who collect the money from me well before then to make sure that happens.

Assume their mother is not going to work anymore than the 40% she does now or be able to contribute either. (just don't go there, I need to be grateful she even works 40%)

Based on who lives with me, then I can review the size of apartment, for example if they all went to live in student accommodation then I could go into a flat share or similar & reduce my costs.

If I am unable to work after 65 then they will look for me to contribute from any money/savings I have and then from my pension (which will be small at this point) & if there is still not enough money then there are social funds that can come into play for the children.

Normally people retire at 65 at the company I work for but I can ask at least anyway or maybe I can go back as a part-time/full time freelancer.

Need to talk to each of my children and see what they think their preferences would be?

Easiest would be if they all moved in with me from a financial standpoint.

Financially I need to look at where I can reduce my costs to be cashflow positive as soon as possible. In 20 months there should be enough money to settle outstanding debts (due to the apartment being sold then) but will have to see what is left if anything and work out if that can go into cashflow the children's education.
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Old 19.08.2020, 13:54
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Re: Children turning 18 - staying with parents

One of mine boomeranged after 4.5 years in the US, and has recently moved out after two years back (she took up a second apprenticeship, one year to go).

Advantage was that as she successfully finished her first one, I was no longer financially responsible and thus she was eligible for health insurance and other subsidies, despite living with me.

Keep this in mind.

Tom
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Old 19.08.2020, 14:31
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Re: Children turning 18 - staying with parents

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One of mine boomeranged after 4.5 years in the US, and has recently moved out after two years back (she took up a second apprenticeship, one year to go).

Advantage was that as she successfully finished her first one, I was no longer financially responsible and thus she was eligible for health insurance and other subsidies, despite living with me.

Keep this in mind.

Tom
My eldest wants to finish his current apprenticeship (so 3 more years), then go for a year to live with his Grand Parents, whilst they are still about, work on some projects there and then come back and do electronics, which would take about another two years. That scenario might work in my favour

My daughter is visiting me tomorrow so will talk with her, not that I need an immediate answer but getting a sense of what she would choose to do would help me.

My youngest son, well this is going to be a shocker for him but will just give him what the options are and see what his feedback is, when I next see him. Want to try and reassure him because of the three children he is the one most at risk.

Did mention to my eldest and my daughter that if it was likely all of them would live with me, I might move a bit further out and go for more space!
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Old 19.08.2020, 14:41
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Re: Children turning 18 - staying with parents

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My eldest wants to finish his current apprenticeship (so 3 more years), then go for a year to live with his Grand Parents, whilst they are still about, work on some projects there and then come back and do electronics, which would take about another two years. That scenario might work in my favour
Not MIGHT, but WILL!

My daughter is now working on further subsidies now that she has her own place. Medical insurance subsidy was easy.

Tom
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Old 19.08.2020, 15:33
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Re: Children turning 18 - staying with parents

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Need to talk to each of my children and see what they think their preferences would be?
You might have to rethink your attitude. I don't want you to think that imho you shouldn't listen to your teen kids' wishes nor stop making them happy. But the talk should maybe start with "Alright, this is my situation and my plan. This is what we as parents can/want to afford." And reconsider maybe this talk together with the kids' mom?

I wouldn't suggest this but you already worried about waiting on them without them taking care of you, do chores. If they were small, I'd get it. But almost adults? 18? Cmon.
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Old 24.08.2020, 08:01
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Re: Children turning 18 - staying with parents

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You might have to rethink your attitude. I don't want you to think that imho you shouldn't listen to your teen kids' wishes nor stop making them happy. But the talk should maybe start with "Alright, this is my situation and my plan. This is what we as parents can/want to afford." And reconsider maybe this talk together with the kids' mom?

I wouldn't suggest this but you already worried about waiting on them without them taking care of you, do chores. If they were small, I'd get it. But almost adults? 18? Cmon.
Agree, I took my -eye- of the ball over the summer holidays, too immersed in my mothers health, work and trying to survive all the inbound demands & consequences of divorce.

Not making excuses, it is with me so I own it and am taking action. Have a meeting with my eldest therapist on Wednesday as I have given my son an ultimatum as to what he needs to do!

I am beyond grateful that I now have access to fantastic advice about a lot of things, children, divorce, retirement, debt management etc ... At least I am confident now that I can divide and conquer a lot of challenges facing me.
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