Firstly I would like to say a massive thank you to everyone who answered my previous post regarding entering Switzerland.

I would like to ask one more question.
I have been a resident here in Switzerland now for almost 3 years I live the country it’s my home I’m set here I don’t plan on leaving.

I have one small problem with Switzerland people here are very reserved which means I really only have one friend.
When I was younger I was raped beat and abused so I’m quite shy until you get to know me I would really know how to go up to some random Swiss people and have a conversation.

Just want some friends and an improved social life for 2021 don’t feel like I’m getting the most of the country sometimes just sit there and use it as an excuse to work extended hours in my apartment.

Have a great week everyone!

The Swiss tend to keep workmates and non-work friends separate it seems to me. They'll rarely socialise with workmates outside of work hours.

Best thing to do is take up an activity that you like to do or want to try so you can meet new people, both Swiss and non-Swiss.

Take some Migros Club courses (languages, sewing, cooking, photography, etc) It is a great way to meet new people and perhaps find someone you would want as a friend. Language courses not the best way of meeting Swiss people.

You sound familiar. Was your name Justin in a previous EF life?

Here is the thing, most of us have only space for about five to eight people genuine friends in our lives at any one time. When you arrive here most of your slots are free, where as the locals have all their slots full up. And you’re going to have to wait for a slot to open up. It does not help, that the locals maintain friendships with people the were in kindergarten with 90 years ago either.

The other thing is that the Swiss tend to keep work and the rest of their lives separate. I don’t have a single Swiss friend that I met through work. They are all people I met while involved in local activities.

So if you want to get to know the Swiss people, you need to get involved in local activities, not the typical expat stuff such as language classes etc...

__________________
"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." - Nelson Mandela

What are your interests?

Get involved in local activities, clubs etc. The Swiss there tend to be very relaxed and welcoming. Or at least that has been my experience.

Or you can have an expat life as well, join the meetup activities. A bit difficult at the moment I know, but I occasionally see things going on there.

There's plenty of opportunities and things to do.

I only had one really close Swiss friend that I met at work, back in '82 when I was here for three months, and we remained close friends until his death in 2013.

And another very close Swiss friend that I met via a coworker who introduced us back in '86.

Tom

Been here 6 years now and generally speaking it is difficult to make close friends in Switzerland. I have made a handful of friends that we do stuff together occasionally but close friends I have not made the way I did in the US when I was younger. Activities and clubs with similar interests are usually one of the best ways to meet others and develope a friendship.

I think some of that depends on age, what's going on in your/their lives. At my age, most are busy with their careers and raising teenagers, so I think most don't have a lot of extra time.

Hi Jim that is certainly crazy thanks for the thoughts

One thing I've noticed about "friends" here in Switzerland is that they will sometimes act like your good friend when they want or need something from you -- for example, for you to babysit their kid -- but then when they no longer need you, they suddenly act as though you no longer exist. Or maybe I've just had bad luck. But some people just seem too busy here to maintain friendships, I guess, so then their concept of "friendship" is dictated by what they consider convenient for them.

Same as casual friends anywhere else on the planet.

Tom

I have been here for 28 years. It takes awhile to make friends with Swiss but once a friend they will remain a friend. Where as with people from across the pond, they are friends quickly but can turn on you just as quick. Also many expats come and go so why be friends with people who leave.

Also a point you would never ask people what they do when you first meet them. A no no.

Before I came to Switzerland I had many acquaintances , now I have a few good friends.

C’est pas la même chose.

Yeah, but when they try to act like they're you're really good friend just so you'll babysit their kids, it just comes off as being very fake and annoying.

I remember reading an article once that said that more intelligent people tend to have smaller circles of friends because they're more selective. I think I'm at that stage in my life now, where I'd rather just have a couple genuine friends than a larger circle of fake ones.

It is hard to make friends here whenever I tell them that I live in Swiss unless down south.

social hobbies are it. Forget coworkers.

Language learning works well but you naturally meet mostly foreigners that way. Not optimal because many move on at some point but at least it's very accessible.

If you are in a rural area you have to go for fire crew, football club, shooting club or band.

It's true. Unfortunately, I'm so intelligent that I have no friends at all

And probably it will be the same people in all.

Time to drag out the Deville classic?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCSQwPv6Z-k

*Insert the trope of "the Swiss may be reserved but once they decide to become your friend, they're you're friend for life..."