Try to make it smoother for your daughter so the kids do better. Instead of arranging to take kids out of their home and dwelling on the fact that you see their real home as insufficient. Get used to the fact that the help you offered, taking care of your grandchild for 5 years still does not turn you into her parent. I do not think that grandparents competing with parents is ultimately healthy or beneficial for the children. Even if your grandchild manages to get "ready for an hour and a half to understand a complex music piece and patiently grind it to perfection." That is not the point of childhood. Seeing grandparents positively, kindly and patiently helping mom to parent better could be however a positive point of childhood.

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"L'homme ne peut pas remplacer son coeur avec sa tete, ni sa tete avec ses mains." J.H. Pestalozzi

“The only difference between a rut and a grave is a matter of depth.” S.P. Cadman

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." A. Einstein

Alas, BTDT, it's just the reality of the way things work.

Also, we've dealt with the KESB regarding my wife's late mother, and they rejected our petition to have her declared not mentally competent (and we had a good lawyer), a year later they had to eat their words when we were proved to have been correct, small consolation.

On a positive note, we had to deal with ZH KESB when my late wife's ex died, and they wanted her son (who had been living with his father in ZH) to move in with in Ticino, not a very great idea for a 15 year old about to start an apprenticeship to move to another part of the country where he doesn't even speak the language! So, we worked with his grandmother, and the KESB agreed to let him move in with her!

Tom