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  #21  
Old 18.06.2021, 22:24
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Re: Isolated

I see Justintheexpat is back again trying to cause merry mayhem and mischief.
Just go away because you're not big or clever.
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  #22  
Old 19.06.2021, 12:01
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Re: Isolated

That's the odd thing. I don't think OP, whether Justin or Maire, ever claimed to be either big or clever. I fully agree that their posts are all over the show and, regrettably, sometimes rude and certainly lacking in empathy towards others who are also suffering in their own way.

I think that the reason I'm willing to suspend the annoyance is that Justin or Maire's posts remind me so very much of the way that some people I know in Real Life, speak and write. Although they have very different backgrounds and personalities, they share a pattern of behaviour which is also present in the threads of Justin/Maire. And the people of whom I'm thinking are similar in that they have have been severely traumatised.

They slip down and down, and then realise that they really do need some ordinary everyday social contact, so as not to die of loneliness, and probably also professional help. When they're at their most desperate, they start cranking themselves up, for days, grabbing onto what little hope they can muster that someone, somewhere will understand them and see what they need. Then they make a series of enquiries, and receive some ideas (like these threads). By then, they're exhausted, and so depressed that any concrete suggestment of treatment, therapy, social help, or ways to make friends feels to them immeasurably far away from where they are now, as opposed to when they had actually managed to call out asking for help. They also receive some suggestions which they know are far-fetched, given the real constraints (that others don't see) of their lives. Paradoxcially, often as they are reaching out, their manner sometimes come across as rude, overly demanding and unappreciative, and then they garner a lot of criticism. The specific people I'm thinking about also have severe issues of feeling inadequate, in one way of another, and the social fears around that, plus their physical impairments, make any kind of help feel the more inaccessible.

Occassionally, the people I'm describing actually do actually succeed in making an appointment to get help. Then, the people who know them are very relieved, Many a time, though, they then don't manage to keep the arrangement, which is mightily frustrating for anyone who has tried to help, and to the social worker or doctor or organiser of a social club, who was expecting them. But it is the more frustrating for the person themselves, because they really had decided to put their best foot forward, and take the step towards a more normal social life and perhaps towards healing, only to find that, on the day, they simply didn't have the strength or the confidence, after all.

In the case of my friends, I observe that this goes in iterations: realise they need help, crank themselves up, make a lot of enquiries, become overwhelmed, at last try to go to one of the appointments/events, fail at the attempt due to exaustion/fear/pain. Or else they do manage to get there, but the service-provider can - quite realistically - address only a certain segment of their immediate needs, and they, being disappointed after having had high expectations, then feel rejected and helpless. And then slip further down and do nothing, until the loneliness and the pain drive them to think that there must be more to life than what they're going through.

Fortunately, I've also seen that very negative cycle broken! Maire (or Justin), as I've observed it, severely traumatised people start to feel just a little better once they have managed to go through with getting/accepting more than one kind of help. These could be: a social club and a dentist, or physiotherapy and painting course, or a debt counsellor and a psychotherapist. For all of them, though, there has to be a first step.
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  #23  
Old 19.06.2021, 12:01
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Re: Isolated

To Justin, Maire or anyone else who may read this because they are unhappy, unwell and in need of help:
No-one else can take that first step, for you.

You have to do it for yourself.

You owe it to yourself to translate some or other of the many suggestions (whether in these threads or any others that you find out about) into action on your part.

If you have a number of social and psychological issues, your life might be very difficult, perhaps full of fear and loneliness. There are many places you could go to help you get out of the isolation and get the help you need, but all of them share one single starting point: you yourself have to make the first move: to call or to go there.
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  #24  
Old 19.06.2021, 12:27
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Re: Isolated

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My mental health is really bad I want to meet people here in Switzerland Iíve been here for years but have no friends.
I donít have much hobbies apart from going down the pub and watching the footballl or just sitting outside and drinking.

Unfortunately when I was younger I was raped for years and years so Iím not good when it comes to getting to know people as I suffer really bad trauma especially around new people.

Not having many friends has really got me down Iím lonely all I do is work and sleep.

Does anyone know any good websites for meeting new people / sites
Ha, this is supposed to be a website like this.

Not so long ago people were looking for other with interest in photography, brewing, partners for playing music, friends to watch the England games in the Euro 2020.

Step #1 is reply to this thread: https://www.englishforum.ch/daily-li...ere-watch.html
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  #25  
Old 19.06.2021, 19:38
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Re: Isolated

So let’s see which member of the all-new mod team lets them back in on the latch.
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