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  #21  
Old 31.08.2008, 02:41
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Re: Burn out

Thank you all for your caring advice, be it written in red caps or otherwise. It helps just knowing there are others who've experienced the same and to hear what you did to get back in the game again.

Thank you also for your pm's - the forum has a lot of big-hearted posters.
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  #22  
Old 31.08.2008, 02:41
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Re: Burn out

Don't be like that.
Sorry ,I didn't intend to sound harsh. It is harsh removing one.self to a new environment. If you come with "I can help you" it makes the person involved feel like they have a problem

If Joe Blogs answers it's a shared experience.

Thats my point of view.
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Old 31.08.2008, 10:36
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Re: Burn out

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I've begun to feel a bit burned out, I think. Usual stuff - problems sleeping, inner dialogue getting out of hand, difficulty maintaining perspective, constant colds, chest pain, depression. An interesting mix of things. Guess it's due to working too much for a number of years, moving to a new country, starting a new job and what not.

Anyone else who's felt like this? Any suggestions what to do? (Can't stop working, the family depends on my income.)
For the inner dialogue getting out of hand and sleep problems, try Bach Flower remedies (Bachbluten) White Chestnut. Very helpful
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Old 31.08.2008, 11:08
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Re: Burn out

Not that I want to spoil all good intentions about excersicing against depression, but this article based on a dutch research work contradicts what most of us think about it:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Depress...5627302&page=1

"The researchers also found that exercise did not appear to cause decreased depression and anxiety"

At the end, the article in my opinion sends a bunch of mixed signals about the topic. So probably is worth trying to continue with the visit to the Gym!
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  #25  
Old 31.08.2008, 11:42
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Re: Burn out

In my experience, which method is appropriate to overcome a depression very much depends on the person. Some retain enough willpower to engage fully in one of their favourite activities so that they manage to forget about their other woes, thanks to the focus change. Some need to pour it all out to friends or strangers, while others find solace in their family. The common factor here is to take action. To keep brooding on one's sorrows is not a sound strategy to improve the situation, rather, if anything, it will worsen it.

To quote the old adage: whenever you feel blue, start breathing again.
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  #26  
Old 31.08.2008, 13:05
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Re: Burn out

I know exactly how you feel as I’ve been there too. The important thing to realise is you can get through this but as Smackerjack says something has to change otherwise it could get a lot worse and your health might suffer. The fact that you aren’t sleeping well is not good. The chest pains etc are probably stress related , as are the colds and the run down feeling but again, Smackerjack is right - that’s your body telling you something. There’s been some great advice already. I’m going to repeat some stuff here because I think it’s important.

1. First up do what Tubbies-Mummy says and pay a call to your GP. Tell him how you feel and get his view on the chest pains and insomnia. Don’t be too quick to go on medication but don’t dismiss it either if your symptoms are acute. Unless you can get rest it will be hard to move forward. That, to me, lack of sleep should be your biggest concern right now. It’s hard to maintain perspective if you’re run down and exhausted all the time. But some of the stuff like exercise and giving yourself a break might resolve the problem without medication so it’s worth trying that first.

2. Counselling/life-coaching may help, but again that depends on what you doctor advises. Counselling is not a quick fix, it takes months and it can be expensive if your insurance doesn’t cover it. I’m sure it works for some, but it doesn’t work for everybody and sometimes just sharing problems with friends and family can be just as effective. Whatever you do, don’t just bottle this up. Also remember you can overanalyse the problem. At the end of the day the job may be getting on top of you but we all have to work and saying “maybe you need to change your job” can be easier said than done. Job routine and spells of hard work are unfortunately a fact of life if you have to eat. The issue is getting the right balance. You have to be practical and focus on what you can realistically do than dreaming about more dramatic change. You need less stress not more.

3. You say nothing about your field of work, work hours, work-life balance so it’s hard to be specific. However you do say you have been working too hard so needless to say this is something you need to reevaluate very closely. Are you spending too much time at work? Are you taking your holidays? Do you take a break at lunch time?

4. Do you use weekends to relax? As Sandaleen says, weekends are an opportunity to recharge the batteries and change the routine but if you wait until they come round they’re gone before you realise it. So plan an excursion outside the city and do it. Give yourself a real break - don’t just do chores, do bills or spend your time running after the family. You need to make a big divide between your weekday and weekends. Weekends are for relaxation. That's the big mistake I made. The trains are a great way to get out and about in a stress free way.

5. HollidayG and bwand8gv mention exercise. Exercise is good. Maybe you do some already but if you don’t I can tell it does relieve stress. I used to work out at lunchtime because there was a gym nearby and it made a huge difference but even getting out of the office at lunchtime and going for a walk, some fresh air can clear the head, relieve tension and break up the day. A short bike ride three or four times in the evenings can also be help. Exercise doesn’t need to be expensive.

6. Yoga - the breathing types - can help you relax. It doesn’t take long to master the techniques and once you’ve done that you can do it on your own so again - it needn’t be expensive.

7. If you drink, watch your intake. HollidayG is right - it doesn’t help you relax, can make getting to sleep difficult and can exacerbate your symptoms. Revaluate your diet too. Make sure you’re getting enough of the right stuff. Don't eat big meals before going to bed and above all don't log on one last time before planning to hit the sack.
All of the above are good “quick hits” and some of the simplist stuff like making sure you take breaks and exercise etc can make all the difference. Sounds like you have been through a lot of change. If you are just going through a rough patch you may be able to get things back on track quickly as long as you remember that you need downtime. If it’s more than that and there are deeper underlying causes then as HollidayG suggest you will have to sort it out - be that emotional, relationship, job satisfaction etc etc. Remember you can’t help your family if you become disfunctional or get sick. Good luck!

Last edited by Nev; 31.08.2008 at 15:40.
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  #27  
Old 31.08.2008, 13:35
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Re: Burn out

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and now it seems no place for a psychologist to offer support and advice on this forum
wont be bothering to post anymore
I don't think that anyone was suggesting that you stop posting. Your adviceand support is valued. If you take things to heart so much, it must make your job very difficult.

If you carry on like that, you will be the one needing counselling

Rod
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Old 31.08.2008, 17:06
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Re: Burn out

I was working too much in my last job and promised myself that, when moving here, this would change. I've tried my best not to do overtime, but then I just end up in a situation where I can't finish all the tasks I'm given. I also promised myself, and my gf, that I'd not get so involved in work - that from now on I'd only see it as a means to get money and pay the rent. Unfortunately, change is not that easy and if I feel I'm not living up to my own standards for how the job should be done, then I feel bad for that reason. (Seems I always find some way to make myself stress over something).

I guess it's the effect of the new job, new country,not knowing how things work etc that all add up. Then paired with not sleeping, all of a sudden the smallest thing just grows out of proportion. Being tired makes me act strange -not crazy strange - but perhaps I don't respond to things like I would normally do, perhaps I do things differently than usually etc. Then afterwards I realize this, and that just becomes one more thing for the inner voice to repeat over and over and over. And it's just incredible how much energy that process consumes. Looking at it as objectively as I can, I've no real reason for feeling like this, but I guess part of the problem is that this doesn't have much to do with logic or reason in the first place.

Even though I don't think the job's the sole problem - my colleagues are nice, the bosses are nice, work's reasonably interesting - I still wonder if I should tell my boss how I feel. Clearly I'm not performing as well as I should. I don't know what to say though and I'd rather not be the "special one" which you have to show extra concern for, the one that can't be counted on, and all that kind of stuff.
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Old 31.08.2008, 17:24
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Re: Burn out

Are you certain your not performing to your bosses standard or are you not performing to your own standard. Sadly I recognize that hamster wheel your on, it's a hard slog.

I wouldn't say anything to your boss, I'm sure he'll speak to you if your not up to scratch. Go to your doctor, PM Tubbies Mummy, do something that makes you believe your stepping off the wheel.

You've made the first move by verbalizing your predicament here, now it's time to take it further, in a private sphere.

I empathize with you and hope you find some mental relief soon.

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  #30  
Old 31.08.2008, 17:40
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Re: Burn out

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I was working too much in my last job and promised myself that, when moving here, this would change. I've tried my best not to do overtime, but then I just end up in a situation where I can't finish all the tasks I'm given. I also promised myself, and my gf, that I'd not get so involved in work - that from now on I'd only see it as a means to get money and pay the rent. Unfortunately, change is not that easy and if I feel I'm not living up to my own standards for how the job should be done, then I feel bad for that reason. (Seems I always find some way to make myself stress over something).

I guess it's the effect of the new job, new country,not knowing how things work etc that all add up. Then paired with not sleeping, all of a sudden the smallest thing just grows out of proportion. Being tired makes me act strange -not crazy strange - but perhaps I don't respond to things like I would normally do, perhaps I do things differently than usually etc. Then afterwards I realize this, and that just becomes one more thing for the inner voice to repeat over and over and over. And it's just incredible how much energy that process consumes. Looking at it as objectively as I can, I've no real reason for feeling like this, but I guess part of the problem is that this doesn't have much to do with logic or reason in the first place.

Even though I don't think the job's the sole problem - my colleagues are nice, the bosses are nice, work's reasonably interesting - I still wonder if I should tell my boss how I feel. Clearly I'm not performing as well as I should. I don't know what to say though and I'd rather not be the "special one" which you have to show extra concern for, the one that can't be counted on, and all that kind of stuff.
It is more common to develop stress in an interesting job than it is in a mundane job. If the job is interesting and you are commited to the job and the company it is difficult to say no. I have been in that situation. It is not a sign of failure to admit that your workload or working hours are too much.

Within your work, have a close look at your original terms of employment etc. and see if you are taking on more than you should be. If so, pass those extra jobs to those who should be doing them. This is the first part of time management.

Try to make sure that you always get a proper break at lunch time and don't work overtime as a matter of routine. Your efficiency will suffer for this. Keep yourself organised at work. If you are in an office job, keep your desk tidy.

Don't try to respond to every email that comes you way. People tend to circulate them to everyone out of laziness rather than addressing to the correct person.

Rod
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Old 31.08.2008, 17:59
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Re: Burn out

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I've begun to feel a bit burned out, I think. Usual stuff - problems sleeping, inner dialogue getting out of hand, difficulty maintaining perspective, constant colds, chest pain, depression. An interesting mix of things. Guess it's due to working too much for a number of years, moving to a new country, starting a new job and what not.

Anyone else who's felt like this? Any suggestions what to do? (Can't stop working, the family depends on my income.)
I take Supradyn every moring (you can buy it in the chemist), before i discovered this i was always having colds, or something else, but now after starting to take this i am not run down as much, i hope you are feeling better soon.
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  #32  
Old 31.08.2008, 18:41
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Re: Burn out

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I take Supradyn every moring (you can buy it in the chemist), before I discovered this I was always having colds, or something else, but now after starting to take this I am not run down as much, I hope you are feeling better soon.
I would always be cautious about taking any medication on a long-term basis, even non-prescribed Multi-Vitamins without professional advice.

Whilst Multi-vitamins provide a much needed boost, you may also be taking an excess of some vitamins combined with your normal diet. At the very least you may be taking them needlessly or in the worst case these can lead to side effects. I would recommend to anyone to check with your GP to find out if one or two specific vitamins, or a change in diet may be better.

Rod
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  #33  
Old 31.08.2008, 18:59
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Re: Burn out

I wouldn’t march into your boss and spill all the beans just yet. From what you say you don't have any real reason to feel like this and I assume nobody has said anything to you. The problem doesn’t seem the job itself, the work environment, your boss’s expectations or the boss overloading you with work. It may be that you have over high expectations of yourself which is a classic cause of burnout. If you are the type who get’s stressed easily that will make it worse. The fact that you say you overworked in your last job suggests the problem might be self inflicted. When you have unrealistic expectations of yourself you tend to work too hard, take on too much and feel guilty when you fail to meet your own standards. You can never give enough, no matter how hard you try and when you don’t live up to those standards you see yourself as a failure. You focus on the 20% you haven't achieved rather than the 80% you have. When you’re in that situation it’s very hard to get out of it. I’ve worked with lots of people who gave 150% when less than 100% would have been more than enough. If your boss hasn’t said anything it may be he’s happy with what you’re giving. But since you’re in a new job you could ask him how things are going from his perspective. That would be natural, show your commitment and maybe give you some constructive, reassuring feedback. If it’s all going well from his point of view then you have to ask yourself are you being too perfectionist, are you taking on too much, are you prioritising things well, are you a fast/slow worker, are pacing yourself realistically, are you being too hard on yourself etc etc. There’s nothing wrong with being a hardworker but taken to extremes perfectionism can cause a lot of anxiety and frustration. If that’s a personality trait it’s very hard to change. But understanding if that's the root of the problem can set you on the right road. All I can promise you is a job is just a job at the end of the day. Don’t be too hard on yourself and make sure you take proper breaks and get a proper balance between work and life. You need time to unwind, relax and get things in perspective.
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  #34  
Old 31.08.2008, 19:11
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Re: Burn out

Went through similar stuff myself a few years ago, but i was in the happy position of being able to quit my job, work as a dogsbody and let my brain return to normal before jumping back into the workforce and continuing with my life. I certainly needed to do it though. It seems to me, and I have known a lot of people like this, that the one caharacteristic of people who run into these issues is that they have a well-developed conscience and sense of responsibility. The fact that you have people who depend on you means that you can't just give the job the finger, like I did about 4 years ago, but what I learned when I went back into work was that the same old trouble was there, i.e. there simply were not enough hours in the day for all I had to do. There are some behavioural patterns which make it worse. for instance, you're new here, as am I by the way, and like you I think, I feel it's important to impress at work and protect my position. Fair enough. But do you really need to work so hard, or is there a way to work smarter, perhaps delegate some things if you have to? the central thing that changed for me and made me a lot more balanced, effective and calm as a person, was that I started expecting more out of my fellow man as opposed to taking it all on myself. that's not just in work by the way. it may sound callous to say that your wife/kids/friends/relations should front up a bit, but it is almost always the case that your behaviour of trying to do everything fo everyone has led them to expect it, whereas they would be quite happy to take up the slack if you were to simply not do as much. they might not even notice it. at the end of the day you have as much a responsibility to reamain healthy as you do to make money and provide for them.


As with all these things, it depends on your situation and your personal desires. For me, I find relief in exrecise, because although it's tough and i'm not fit, I feel better having made myself work so hard, and I feel physically better afterwards. But one of the things that has been missing from my life was music, and I started playing guitar again after a long hiatus. I swiftly realised that it was as necessary to me as eating. If you have a hobby or something you care about, do make time for it, because it helps you know who you are and assign motivation to your day.

As always, best of luck. there's no magic bullet, but with work and intelligent analysis you'll figure out what you need to do to make life sweet again.
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Old 31.08.2008, 19:30
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Re: Burn out

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I would always be cautious about taking any medication on a long-term basis, even non-prescribed Multi-Vitamins without professional advice.

Whilst Multi-vitamins provide a much needed boost, you may also be taking an excess of some vitamins combined with your normal diet. At the very least you may be taking them needlessly or in the worst case these can lead to side effects. I would recommend to anyone to check with your GP to find out if one or two specific vitamins, or a change in diet may be better.

Rod
LOL yes my diet is crap (sorry) that is why i take the vitamins, i have checked with my GP, and my personal trainer, and it is ok for me to take them
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Old 31.08.2008, 19:58
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Re: Burn out

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LOL yes my diet is crap (sorry) that is why i take the vitamins, i have checked with my GP, and my personal trainer, and it is ok for me to take them
You have obviously done the right thing. That is good to hear.
I was replying in a general view to anyone else who may be tempted to 'self-prescribe' without checking.

Rod
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Old 31.08.2008, 20:00
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Re: Burn out

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You have obviously done the right thing. That is good to hear.
I was replying in a general view to anyone else who may be tempted to 'self-prescribe' without checking.

Rod
Sorry, and thanks again for being concerned about other peoples health
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Old 19.02.2009, 15:23
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Re: Burn out

Fitness, I wish it were so easy. Fitness can be part of it. I have experienced burnout and now that I worked through my burnout I work with people who suffer from burnout and stress. This is not an advert but this is an important part of the story. 16 years ago I moved to Switzerland and I was burnout. The hardest part of burnout is that immobility feeling. The harder you try the worse it gets or it gets harder. It was really was all about a change in life style. It was not a change on the outside. It was an inside job. I had to work on myself. Solutions from the outside do not make the change, not even a georgraphical move; you take you with you. I can offer all kinds of suggestions but what needs to happen is that you have enough pain that motivates you to really do something abolut yolurself. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and this motivated me to really do somework. As I said now I work with people which has me over the years to copntinue working on myself
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  #39  
Old 19.02.2009, 16:06
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Re: Burn out

In winter time, as a recent fan of snowsports I would advise go to the mountains and try skiing/snowboarding. It is very relaxing and distressing. In summer time obviously I would suggest tennis which is a very social activity and gives you lots of fun. That's my few cents on the topic

Last edited by jacek; 19.02.2009 at 18:23.
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Old 19.02.2009, 17:57
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Re: Burn out

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It is very relaxing and distressing.

I wouldn't normally pick up on typos, but this one made me smile - especially since I find the whole notion of speeding down a wall of ice on a pair of flimsy skis terribly distressing!
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