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  #41  
Old 19.02.2009, 19:24
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Re: Burn out

Ha! Ha!... Do you have idea who is the guy who wrote it, I dont....?

Agreed, I just reread it and it sounds funny to me too. Forgive my typo, I meant here relieving not "distressing"... If skiing can be relieving for some folks at all, but I find it as such
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  #42  
Old 19.02.2009, 20:09
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Re: Burn out

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what needs to happen is that you have enough pain that motivates you to really do something abolut yolurself. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and this motivated me to really do somework.
Could not have put this better , excellent advice thanks
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  #43  
Old 21.02.2009, 13:17
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Re: Burn out

Ok just been playing on my Wii fit and it just gave me a useful tip on how to sleep better at night so i thought i would share it with you.

Before going to bed at night take a long LUCKWARM bath, this helps you relax and make you tired ready for a peacful nights sleep
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  #44  
Old 21.02.2009, 13:24
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Re: Burn out

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Before going to bed at night take a long LUCKWARM bath, this helps you relax and make you tired ready for a peacful nights sleep
Excellent advice for physical stress, but, alas, not so helpful when your mind, compelled to occupy itself while your body is immersed in cosy warm water, begins to mull over all the things that have been bothering it throughout the day.
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  #45  
Old 21.02.2009, 13:28
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Re: Burn out

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Excellent advice for physical stress, but, alas, not so helpful when your mind, compelled to occupy itself while your body is immersed in cosy warm water, begins to mull over all the things that have been bothering it throughout the day.
Fair point, but when i am taking a bath to relax i read a book, or listen to music turn the lights off and light candles

Last edited by Sutter; 21.02.2009 at 13:28. Reason: Damn smiley is in the wrong place it should of been at the end of the sentence
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  #46  
Old 21.02.2009, 14:23
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Re: Burn out

To the OP: Change one small thing a day that will make a difference to your day or week or long term. Does that sound doable?
I know the whole situation can feel overwhelming and you need to feel you've achieved one thing each day, no matter how small, to improve your situation.

If your girlfriend is with you, can she offer some support and encouragement? And help you to make the little significant changes in your life?

You say your family depends on your income. This puts a lot of pressure on you. If by 'family' you mean your parents and siblings, it sounds kind of unfair, but I understand this is acceptable in some cultures. Is there another family member who can chip in to help?

Have you tried 'tai qi' and 'reiki'? Not everyone will like those practices but they're based on a gentle, loving and natural philosophy of life. They have helped to add peace and perspective to my life.



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Hey mate I too feel like this and glad ur not the only one. New to the forum and just saw your post. glad to see ur not the only one!! Getting so much crap from wife and pressure from her to make the new move all great . we moved here 2 months ago for a new start and presuure of work is 24 . 7 and finding it hard as well . and thanks tubbies mummy good to hear it is ok for blokes to be stressed as well. now......advice please .......what do we do about the unhappy women ????
To Newhere: Sit down and work out with her what she can do for herself, what she can do for the two of you and what you need her to help you with (in practical day-to-day matters). And vice versa.

Sometimes it's an upset in the balance of power (inherent in a move to an unfamiliar country) that makes a woman feel unhappy.

She also needs to explore seriously what she can do to make herself happier. She must not feel she's depending on you for happiness. She's gotta feel she's responsible for herself and her feelings.
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  #47  
Old 23.02.2009, 15:19
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Re: Burn out

Warmth relaxes the muscles. Muscles tense automatically when someone is under stress. In the old days they drank warm milk. It was not the milk but rather the warmth of the milk. It helped to relax the muscles of the stomach which automatically become tense under stress. But it is only temporary until you have to have the warmth again. Millions are made on these temporary solutions. John
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  #48  
Old 23.02.2009, 15:24
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Re: Burn out

You can not make other people happy; you can only make yourself happy. This is where we get burned out; trying to make every one happy with no rewards. We push ourselves to point where we loose our motivation.

John
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  #49  
Old 27.03.2009, 13:16
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Re: Burn out

Today I'm supposed to be working from home, but am struggling with it.
I feel constantly tired out - granted, I do have a lot on - but it worsens towards the weekend. Can't concentrate and have a constant headache.
Also feel nauseous.
Have tried magnesium and it helps a bit.
Has anyone tried Ginseng?
I'm getting pretty desperate as I feel like this about 80% of the time.
I have low blood pressure, but apart from that, I'm healthy (had blood tests for iron and so)
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  #50  
Old 27.03.2009, 13:23
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Re: Burn out

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Today I'm supposed to be working from home, but am struggling with it.
I feel constantly tired out - granted, I do have a lot on - but it worsens towards the weekend. Can't concentrate and have a constant headache.
Also feel nauseous.
Have tried magnesium and it helps a bit.
Has anyone tried Ginseng?
I'm getting pretty desperate as I feel like this about 80% of the time.
I have low blood pressure, but apart from that, I'm healthy (had blood tests for iron and so)
How's your social life? I'm a great believer in "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" (dull in the sense of losing your usual glow and zip for life).

If you are working all the time and constantly have work worries on your mind it is bound to take its toll at some point.
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  #51  
Old 27.03.2009, 13:27
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Re: Burn out

Ginger tea helps nausea for me. For headaches I find drinking more water helps.
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  #52  
Old 27.03.2009, 13:33
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Re: Burn out

I think : social life=20% work&family=80%

You have a good point there, Sandgrounder, but isn't life here really weighted heavily on the work side? Sometimes I think I take it all too seriously!
Also having the energy to have a social life is hard.
We have friends coming round for a meal on Sunday which is nice, but I already feel stressed at the thought!! More work.
But if you don't do the inviting then you have even less of a social life!

Sleeping is never a problem - rather staying awake!
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  #53  
Old 27.03.2009, 13:38
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Re: Burn out

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I think : social life=20% work&family=80%
You need to separate out that work & family category. They shouldn't be together.
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  #54  
Old 27.03.2009, 13:47
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Re: Burn out

Yes, that is bad - seeing family as work.
It sometimes feels that way though.
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  #55  
Old 27.03.2009, 13:49
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Re: Burn out

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I think : social life=20% work&family=80%

You have a good point there, Sandgrounder, but isn't life here really weighted heavily on the work side? Sometimes I think I take it all too seriously!
Also having the energy to have a social life is hard.
We have friends coming round for a meal on Sunday which is nice, but I already feel stressed at the thought!! More work.
But if you don't do the inviting then you have even less of a social life!

Sleeping is never a problem - rather staying awake!
That's true. It is easier said than done to maintain a good social life and throwing a dinner party can mean oodles of work.

Meeting friends down the pub on a spur of the moment arrangement doesn't really happen here and, if you have family, the simple pleasure of going to the cinema here becomes a myriad of arrangements for babysitter, train times, etc.

I sometimes just take a day's holiday from work (a Friday to make a long weekend), take the little fella off to nursery then have the day to myself to do whatever I please. Works wonders.
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  #56  
Old 27.03.2009, 14:22
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Re: Burn out

What helps me with low blood pressure (I can't drink coffee now) - making sure you go outside every day, keep airing your office, apartment..

Ocassional green tea is nice, magnesium helps me too and I got hooked on eliptical trainer in our local gym, I do it 4 times a week and try for more. Exercising in the morning is the best, if only 30min before the family gets up and going.

Aside of higher blood pressure, it works well with decreasing apetite. Chasing your kid outside is also a great exercise. I only wish our gym had more user friendly opening hours.

I second the social life, puts things in different light, it is so important..Don't feel like every time you have somebody over you must throw a humongous dinner party. I have people stopping by for a tea, a short playdate, just a chat, I got used to it with friends, curbs the bad-host guilt trip I would normally give myself. It is nice to inspire people and learn from them, even if the visit is only 30min long.
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  #57  
Old 27.03.2009, 14:56
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Re: Burn out

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Today I'm supposed to be working from home, but am struggling with it.
I feel constantly tired out - granted, I do have a lot on - but it worsens towards the weekend. Can't concentrate and have a constant headache.
Also feel nauseous.
Have tried magnesium and it helps a bit.
Has anyone tried Ginseng?
I'm getting pretty desperate as I feel like this about 80% of the time.
I have low blood pressure, but apart from that, I'm healthy (had blood tests for iron and so)
I agree with MarieZug that ginger tea can help settle your stomach. Try it mild first if you're not used to its degree of 'heat'. Add honey if you prefer it more palatable.

Ginseng works for some people. Others might find it a bit too 'heaty' on their system.

Try Chinese red dates and soup herbs (ask in a Chinese-leaning Asian shop). Gently boil the red dates and herbs with chicken or pork chunks in a soup till the meat is soft (about 50 minutes for chicken and 1.3 hours for pork). Add a bit of salt and soy sauce at the very end.

If you prefer a sweetish soup, boil the red dates with dried longan (like lychee or litchee but better), pre-soaked dried lotus seed, rock sugar and a couple of ginseng roots (or other Chinese herbal roots).

Last edited by argus; 28.03.2009 at 11:45.
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Old 27.03.2009, 18:18
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Re: Burn out

Thank you for all the suggestions.

I've just been for a long, windy (the weather, not me) walk and that always gets my system going and lifts my headache.
I would be interested to try out the Chinese recipes, just have to track down the ingredients (not so easy here in the outback!!)
I'll do my best
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  #59  
Old 27.03.2009, 18:25
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Re: Burn out

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Today I'm supposed to be working from home, but am struggling with it.
I feel constantly tired out - granted, I do have a lot on - but it worsens towards the weekend. Can't concentrate and have a constant headache.
Also feel nauseous.
Have tried magnesium and it helps a bit.
Has anyone tried Ginseng?
I'm getting pretty desperate as I feel like this about 80% of the time.
I have low blood pressure, but apart from that, I'm healthy (had blood tests for iron and so)
If you're feeling sick due to some virus, that's one thing. I find that I sometimes feel so stressed and tired that this in itself makes me nauseous. If that's the case, there's no substitution for a holiday. Better sooner than later - the longer you'll wait, the longer the holiday needed to get the energy back.

Also try to give yourself a break - don't go overboard with the dinner preparations, for instance. The important thing is to meet and have a good time. There are plenty of things you can cook which don't take a lot of time - like smoked salmon+salad+bread for main dish for example. Preparation time is almost zero, and it's great with a white wine. Dessert - perhaps icecream with some toffee sauce? The toffee sauce you can buy ready-made. Then spice it up with some ground fresh ginger and heat in the microwave before serving. It doesn't have to be hard.

For everyday life - I find that planning things help. It doesn't come naturally to me personally, but if I spend half an hour planning the meals for the week and only do grocery shopping once a week, that frees up a lot of time.

But above all, take a time-out if you feel you need it - everyone does once in a while.
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Old 27.03.2009, 19:18
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Re: Burn out

Thanks, BW.
Reading your helpful suggestions was a therapy in itself!!
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