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Old 30.08.2008, 19:17
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Burn out

I've begun to feel a bit burned out, I think. Usual stuff - problems sleeping, inner dialogue getting out of hand, difficulty maintaining perspective, constant colds, chest pain, depression. An interesting mix of things. Guess it's due to working too much for a number of years, moving to a new country, starting a new job and what not.

Anyone else who's felt like this? Any suggestions what to do? (Can't stop working, the family depends on my income.)
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Old 30.08.2008, 19:21
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Re: Burn out

Yes, work out every day! It's a great way to relieve anxiety. And by work out I don't mean "walking," but rather intense exercise. Industrial-type exercise opportunities are usually easier to find in the US than here, but anything that will keep you in check (e.g., running group, gym classes, etc.) help when your self-discipline is tested.
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Old 30.08.2008, 20:34
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Re: Burn out

Mountains = anti burnout

(Bike optional)
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Old 30.08.2008, 20:41
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Re: Burn out

That, my friend, describes my situation very accurately.

I have started running to see if that helps.
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Old 30.08.2008, 20:44
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Re: Burn out

You must realise that these feelings are your body telling you to stop your lifestyle.
Yes, I know that it is easier said than done, but if you don't, you will give your self serious health issues - and believe you me I have done that through similar feelings.
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Old 30.08.2008, 21:31
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Re: Burn out

from a fellow sufferer...i feel for you, i really do...
excercise is definitely a great idea, but i'm bad at it...
what i have realised is that i need to spend more time planning my downtime and stick to the plans. we seem to talk about work all the time and never get to really unwind...weekends are full of cleaning and shopping and other necessities...
celebrate small accomplishments by taking a sunday off in the moantains - don't let small but important things pass you by...schedule them in your diary and appoint a minister of weekend excursions?
i read a really interesting piece on happiness in my german language coursebook (appropriate he?). it is a skill that you can acquire if you only knew what made you happy and it should be maintained by a continuous search or creation for things that makes you happy. at first it sounded a bit superficial but then i realised it's our only hope, schedule your downtime!!!
good luck...
ps. almost 'off topic' but maybe also change what you eat? try detoxing on salad for a week and don't drink any fizzy sweet stuff. sugar tends to make you really lethargic...
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Old 30.08.2008, 22:03
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Re: Burn out

A COUNSELLOR I AM BUT A SECRETARY NOT SO EXCUSE TYPOS,S

Hi firstly well done on being able to admit you have burn out !!
Especially for a man ....sorry to sound patronising but from my experience men are not good at admitting emotional issues for fear of appearing a failure which is a load of rubbish and simple bravado !!

Before Mark the ?? man who started this great English forum died in such tragic circumstances he e mailed me several time considering a slot for me as a moderator on the forum for people who had emotional troubles . I personally think it ould be great addition !

Sadly when I have tried to offer free support and advice on this forum ... purely out of compassion I may add !! I am occasionally accused of freelancing and advertising ....or a small minority have taken the P..ss out of counselling , which is a huge shame because we all have problems in our life, so people like you who admit and need support is refreshing and admirable !!

I see emotional problems a bit like heamorrhoids .....we dont like to admit it we have them but until we talk to others , we find we we all have them !! Hence why bowel cancer is one of the biggest killers in men..cos they dont talk about it !! Mmmm!! My dad is an example here sadly !!

Anyway if it helps , I am trained counsellor living in Lugano and I also spent 20 years in NHS psychiatry prior to moving here one year ago for hubbys job .

Prior to moving to Switzerland last year and leaving the NHS rat race I had a hugely succesful counselling practice in the UK and national media and " A " list interest.

If it helps you I am really busy with supporting high profile executives in Switzerland especially men ok !!

Now.....In terms of your chest pain ..........I am also an ex cardiac nurse and boy the amount of stressed out men we used to get in coronary care who had chest pain that was not a heart attack but down to stress. The pain is bloody awful and very, very frightening and should be taken seriously for anything to do with a heart problem or an ulcer .

I strongly suggest 3 things

....1 ....get yourself checked over by your GP to rule out anything physical ok

2 ....re evauluate your lifestyle and work pressures and commitments to work V home life...

3 Once serious illness is ruled out ... perhaps consider a bit of counselling or life coaching counselling.

..... you have come this far in admitting it on this forum so please take head .

As most members know I am a fully qualified child behaviour and family therapist and an adult counsellor and offer telephone , e mail and face to face in Switzerland , from my experiernce my clients have about 4 sessions over the phone then get the train down to see me in Lugano for a few hours face to face.

If it helps make you feel better ...I have more male clients than women ..mainly from work pressures or life relocation and family isues

so forget that big taboo that big boys dont cry ....honey ....because guess what .... they do !! just like anyone else ok !! and have just as much right to be p....sd off with life as anyone else ok !!

Please PM you if you want a quick chat on the phone free of charge or visit my website

www.expatcounselling.com

to expplain more about me

but also please use this forum for support because you really are not alone

and there are tons of people here that can support you as well.

I too have needed this forum I am also vulnerable....who isnt !!

Sometimes a quick moan is all that is needed and to know you are not alone.

a few things to think about for burn out below .....but the most important thing is that well done for recogising and admitting it !!!

job burnout can be a viscous downward cycle.

Emotional exhaustion is the experience of feeling drained of all energy or all used up. When people begin to experience emotional exhaustion they may try to reduce the emotional stress of working with other people by detaching from others. They commonly begin to maintain an emotional distance from others.

This detachment can be expressed by an indifferent attitude toward others. People experiencing job burnout may have hostile, critical interactions with others. It is also common for a burned out person to view others as objects or numbers. Withdrawing from others is a frequently response.

Another common response to job burnout is for the burned out person to try to reduce his or her workload.This may be done by avoiding work, absenteeism, doing the bare minimum when at work, not doing certain tasks that are experienced as more stressful and spending more time doing other tasks that are considered less stressful.

These responses often result in a decline in job performance--both work quality and work quantity can suffer. The person experiencing job burnout then feels guilty for the poor work performance. The self-critical attitude that develops further contributes to the emotional burden and increases the job burnout.

Take good care and keep on moaning cos this great forum will support you ok
x
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Old 30.08.2008, 22:10
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Re: Burn out

Quote:
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You must realise that these feelings are your body telling you to stop your lifestyle.
Yes, I know that it is easier said than done, but if you don't, you will give your self serious health issues - and believe you me I have done that through similar feelings.
excellent answer !!!
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Old 30.08.2008, 22:15
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Re: Burn out

Quote:
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from a fellow sufferer...i feel for you, i really do...
excercise is definitely a great idea, but i'm bad at it...
what i have realised is that i need to spend more time planning my downtime and stick to the plans. we seem to talk about work all the time and never get to really unwind...weekends are full of cleaning and shopping and other necessities...
celebrate small accomplishments by taking a sunday off in the moantains - don't let small but important things pass you by...schedule them in your diary and appoint a minister of weekend excursions?
i read a really interesting piece on happiness in my german language coursebook (appropriate he?). it is a skill that you can acquire if you only knew what made you happy and it should be maintained by a continuous search or creation for things that makes you happy. at first it sounded a bit superficial but then i realised it's our only hope, schedule your downtime!!!
good luck...
ps. almost 'off topic' but maybe also change what you eat? try detoxing on salad for a week and don't drink any fizzy sweet stuff. sugar tends to make you really lethargic...

I THINK YOUR ANSWER IS REALLY HELPFUL
I KEEP TELLING THE FORUM MODERATORS WE REALLY NEED A PLACE ON THIS FOURM FOR EMOTIONAL HEALTH ISSUES AND CONTRIBUTIONS LIKE YOURS ARE GREAT !! SO..... MODERATORS PLEASE PAY ATTENTION......PLEASE !!

THERE ARE MANY CHEESED OFF PEOPLE WHO CAN USE FOUM AS A SOUNDING BOARD AND MANY GREAT FORUM SUBSCRIBERS TO GIVE ADVICE AND OFFER EXPERIENCE !!
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Old 30.08.2008, 22:27
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Re: Burn out

Quote:
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I THINK YOUR ANSWER IS REALLY HELPFUL
I KEEP TELLING THE FORUM MODERATORS WE REALLY NEED A PLACE ON THIS FOURM FOR EMOTIONAL HEALTH ISSUES AND CONTRIBUTIONS LIKE YOURS ARE GREAT !! SO..... MODERATORS PLEASE PAY ATTENTION......PLEASE !!

THERE ARE MANY CHEESED OFF PEOPLE WHO CAN USE FOUM AS A SOUNDING BOARD AND MANY GREAT FORUM SUBSCRIBERS TO GIVE ADVICE AND OFFER EXPERIENCE !!
Shouting in bold red will not make you heard.
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Old 30.08.2008, 22:43
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Re: Burn out

WELL.... I THINK THAT I NEEDED TO MAKE IT BOLD BECUASE EVERYTIME I POST A REPLY IT SEEMS I AM NOT HEARD OR UNDERSTOOD AND HAVE A MOTIVE JUST TO ADVERTISE !!

I GAVE A GENUINLEY COMPASSIONATE AND CARING REPLIES SO LETS FOCUS ON THAT AND HIS ISSUES PLEASE !!

BUT FAIR DEAL ... AND APOLOGIES OK ...I HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING......BUT EQUALLY ....SO... HEAR WHAT I AM SAYING AND LETS REMEMBER THE INTIAL OBJECTIVE WAS TO HELP THIS POOR UNHAPPY CHAP!!

I AM TRYING TO CARE AND SUPPORT HIM INSTEAD OF YOU JUST FOCUSSING ON CRITISCIINJG MY BOLD TYPO,S

now... I have heard you..... so lets get back to it ....what about your opinion and support to the answer to his hour need please !!!!
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Old 30.08.2008, 23:00
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Re: Burn out

Quote:
View Post
I THINK YOUR ANSWER IS REALLY HELPFUL
I KEEP TELLING THE FORUM MODERATORS WE REALLY NEED A PLACE ON THIS FOURM FOR EMOTIONAL HEALTH ISSUES AND CONTRIBUTIONS LIKE YOURS ARE GREAT !! SO..... MODERATORS PLEASE PAY ATTENTION......PLEASE !!

THERE ARE MANY CHEESED OFF PEOPLE WHO CAN USE FOUM AS A SOUNDING BOARD AND MANY GREAT FORUM SUBSCRIBERS TO GIVE ADVICE AND OFFER EXPERIENCE !!
Lovin' the large red caps. I wish I had a councillor who could communicate with me in such a colourful and upper-case manner. It helps everyone feel comfortable.

Cheers

Jekyll
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Old 30.08.2008, 23:04
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Re: Burn out

Hey mate I too feel like this and glad ur not the only one. New to the forum and just saw your post. glad to see ur not the only one!! Getting so much crap from wife and pressure from her to make the new move all great . we moved here 2 months ago for a new start and presuure of work is 24 . 7 and finding it hard as well . and thanks tubbies mummy good to hear it is ok for blokes to be stressed as well. now......advice please .......what do we do about the unhappy women ????
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Old 30.08.2008, 23:11
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Re: Burn out

cheers !!!

Maybe should have gone into colour therapy counselling instead eh ??? !!!

now seriously guys..and gals... lets get busy and start helping this unhappy chap and not criticise my typos or words of wisdom ....
remember.......when you are up to your armpits in aligators ... the intial objective was to drain the swamp !!!
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Old 30.08.2008, 23:38
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Re: Burn out

good to hear you have the guts to agree with this bloke on the forum but of course equally sad to hear you are finding your move tough . you are not alone and use this forum for support ok. I have found it really supportive .

x
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Old 31.08.2008, 00:38
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Re: Burn out

Tubbies-Mummy

I find your use of large type, bold and use of red to be very offputting and unprofessional. It is considered to be a sign of shouting and aggression. This cannot be the message that you wish to convey.

Also if anyone searches threads, the search terms are highlighted in red. Your use of red is not helpful in these situations.

I also think it is sad that you felt it necessary to start your first post with negative comments that are irrelevant to the post.

Your advice is completely sound and you appear to be suitably qualified. Surely you should have the confidence to base your responses on this alone. I take it that you have had some critisism in the past. The right thing to do would be to ignore that and move on.
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Old 31.08.2008, 00:54
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Re: Burn out

thanks x
Your comments taken on board and I was not aware of issues of bold or red type so aplogies
Just trying to help this chap thats all

x
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Old 31.08.2008, 01:15
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Re: Burn out

Tubby Mummy, I agree that what you say is sound but it sounds as if you are desperate to be heard and taken seriously.

I don't want to "diss" your intentions but I do believe that lots of people on this site communicate with other people to seek advice simply through sheer experience and empathy. Thats all.

They don't want to hear they have been brave or put into a psychological bracket. It's a move to a different country/continent with all it's ups and downs. Not a cry for analysis.

If they feel the need for further deeper advice I see no harm in your registration in a thread for those that need it.

If you are a natural helper I'm sure that you know (as frustrating that it is) that you have to wait until the person comes to you.

Regards Lynn <<>>
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Old 31.08.2008, 01:32
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Re: Burn out

My personal opinion because I have been there:

1. Cut out the alcohol if just temporarily.
2. Take up some physical activity.
3. Get out of the city and the hustle bustle.
4. Talk to people from your own country about their experiences.

If there is something bothering you, get rid of it

1. Bad job, get a new one.
2. Bad girlfriend( or boyfriend ), sort out the problem.

I think many expats have been in your same situation.
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Old 31.08.2008, 01:32
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Re: Burn out

They don't want to hear they have been brave or put into a psychological bracket. It's a move to a different country/continent with all it's ups and downs. Not a cry for analysis.

ok
all messages about my unintentional typos and writing in bold and red heard and understood ...and now it seems no place for a psychologist to offer support and advice on this forum
wont be bothering to post anymore
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