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  #181  
Old 12.10.2016, 20:16
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Re: adhd its real

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I don't think anxiety is well understood by most people, and I'm not always sure it's given its due.
...
Yep. Most people try to convince someone that their anxiety is somehow unfounded, misdirected. This is not particularly helpful when you're already fully aware of that yourself. Roughly speaking the equivalent of being told "Yes, you are completely bonkers."
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  #182  
Old 12.10.2016, 20:21
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Re: adhd its real

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Were your parents anxious? It can run in families. It sure runs in mine - including aunts, cousins, etc. My mom was pretty anxious too.
My parents are/were many things. My mother to this day is an anxious mess. My father has mastered the art of suppressing all emotions. This is the issue of the baby boomers. They were spawned from a generation that would still rub sawdust into a wound. Within the last 6 months I've approached my mother and have really unmasked her anxiety. She had accepted through life that xanax and avoidance was acceptable treatment.

In both cases...these parents of mine are emotionally handicapped. And have been their whole lives without ever noticing or wondering if that could impact a child.

My experience can best be summed up as "Nosce te ipsum". If you can do this...you will have NO mental health issues.
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  #183  
Old 13.10.2016, 11:17
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Re: adhd its real

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My experience can best be summed up as "Nosce te ipsum". If you can do this...you will have NO mental health issues.



I disagree with this totally. I have bi-polar, my daughter definitely is ADHD or ADD and my husband has Asperger's....fat chance that the kids had any hope I guess


Mental health issues exist and simply saying "Know Yourself" and applying ancient Greek mythology to a real life condition is a bit "off the spectrum" for me to accept. I know myself and my voibles but it doesn't stop my brain working the way it does.......I hope I am getting to grips with my daughter's issues but sometimes it truly boils down to a medical condition that requires counselling, management and in the worst cases medication which is nothing to be ashamed of.


We have not got that far with my poppet yet but I certainly wouldn't write these options off it it made her feel better about herself and understand that she is completely fine as she is but just "different".
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  #184  
Old 13.10.2016, 11:46
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Re: adhd its real

I didn't realize you were the center of the universe. Just because you were misdiagnosed doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Some of us really do have it and struggle with it everyday.
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  #185  
Old 13.10.2016, 13:43
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Re: adhd its real

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My parents are/were many things. My mother to this day is an anxious mess. My father has mastered the art of suppressing all emotions. This is the issue of the baby boomers. They were spawned from a generation that would still rub sawdust into a wound. Within the last 6 months I've approached my mother and have really unmasked her anxiety. She had accepted through life that xanax and avoidance was acceptable treatment.

In both cases...these parents of mine are emotionally handicapped. And have been their whole lives without ever noticing or wondering if that could impact a child.

My experience can best be summed up as "Nosce te ipsum". If you can do this...you will have NO mental health issues.
I don't want to be insulting, but i have to disagree. I know neither you nor your family situation. But I do take umbrage with your comment because I am a baby boomer too and you simply cannot paint us with the same broad brush. It's human nature to supress feelings regardless of generation. Believe me - young women with cancer are told to be happy, cheerful and positive. My father, a member of the WWII generation took a long time to admit he was depressed after the death of my mother. Instead, he had ennui. Then he started to use the "d" word. Supressing feelings is more cultural than generational.

Moreover, your anxiety is likely rooted in your own personality, brain structure and so on, albeit exacerbated by your parents. And I'm no therapist either but you seem very angry at your parents. And that's your business, of course. Maybe I've misunderstood, in which case I apologize, but do you hold your parents completely responsible for your anxiety and etc?

I think the person with NO mental issues is suffering from denial, frankly. It's just that not everyone needs treatment....but everyone needs relaxation and fufillment.

Still I am glad you found a strategy that works, But I believe add type conditions are real. And they require understanding and accomodation which sometimes includes medical treatment.

My feeling on drug side effects - you have to weigh the side effects of no treatment against treatment side effects, and decide which is more tolerable.
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  #186  
Old 13.10.2016, 18:03
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Re: adhd its real

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I didn't realize you were the center of the universe. Just because you were misdiagnosed doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Some of us really do have it and struggle with it everyday.
I'm not sure who this was directed towards. If it was me, you may have missed something. I'd like to consider myself the center of the universe, but I'm not vain nor would I want the responsibility. But if it makes you feel better to be hurtful...its your choice and you are entitled to it. But I can assure you that my struggles have been and are still VERY REAL.

Misdiagnosis, in the 80's, was hardly a thing then. ADD was added to the DSM III only in 1980 as an updated version of 'hyperkinetic impulse disorder'. Later this was further defined in the 1987 DSM as ADHD. For many children in the '83 - '88 years ADHD was known more as ADD with mild depression. Misdiagnosis did not exist then because ADD/ADHD finally provided a way to explain a certain bundle of behaviors in the most succinct ways possible. The mode to treat this at the time was with meds. I can not say with any certainty at all that medicinal intervention did anything other than make me sleepy.

However, the manifestations of the disorder remained and are very real. I DO NOT REFUTE that the symptoms and pain don't exist. I've lived it, and likely still do. My point, or at least point of view, that I am trying to share is that ADHD may not really be what we have come to accept it as. I find it an absolute travesty that some Drs have the means to diagnose a three-year old with ADHD. How is this even possible? This is insane because the child barely has the ability to speak coherently nor should it have the responsibility of doing anything other than being a child. Its lunacy.

As for teens and adults, of course what people feel is real. However, what I am positing now is the result of hitting absolute bottom (18 months of suicidal depression, severe anxiety, Pure O-OCD). As I have slowly emerged to a new state of awareness and being, I can say with 100% honest truth that the brain is VERY plastic and undesired behavioral issues can be resolved WITHOUT medicine.

I don't wish what I've endured over the past few years on anyone nor or throughout history. Its a horrid terrifying state of existence. I, for whatever reason, chose not to combat the above issues with medicine. I faced all of it with the same brain I was born with and opted for nutrition and open honesty. The journey has brought me insight that I don't think many people will ever achieve. I do not consider myself lucky in the least for having (almost) completed this journey. What I feel is a DEEP sense of responsibility to share what I have discovered/realized.

The discomfort many people likely feel with this issue is that they feel powerless and/or helpless. We create ourselves around our experiences and identify with those stories we believe to be true. Facing these 'truths' by choice is most likely never to happen. As such, the constructs of our identities remain intact and we live the rest of our lives defined by what what we accept as truth. My journey has clearly demonstrated that the 'truth' and out resultant identities are not fixed in the least. Hence, my outwardly imposed identity as one with ADHD is not really important. The most important point I can make is that labels in any form are bad.
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  #187  
Old 31.10.2016, 15:22
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Re: adhd its real

For your information I will be talking about neurofeedback in a couple of weeks.


http://curiouscourses.ch/bioneurofee...ustainability/
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  #188  
Old 31.10.2016, 21:37
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Re: adhd its real

https://www.scientificamerican.com/a...SA_DD_20161018
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  #189  
Old 31.10.2016, 22:57
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Re: adhd its real

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So I think people like me sometimes have trouble in the world and need help to succeed, or need help finding the best way to succeed. Sometimes that means meds, sometimes organizing strategies. It's also a different set of problems to be female with ADD. Because we may not be poor or disruptive performers in school, people wonder what's the problem - the result is frustration and anxiety and then boredom because you know you can do better. Maybe this is a problem other people have too, I don't know.

Whatever works for you though....if you find a solution that is effective, great. But i still think it's real, just not well understood and not really a disease.
Edot, your post is excellent, and I particularly like the above. I agree with you that not everyone is the same, so I would be very hesitant to make absolute statements such as, on one hand, ADHD is the answer for everyone's problems, but also, on the other hand, ADHD does not exist.

I am a "disruptor" by nature, I see ahead of my peers (and sometimes my superiors), and oftentimes I have already arrived at the destination when people are still deciding what to pack in their luggage, so to speak.

That is (partly) why I do not work well in very conformist situations/places, but I have learned at an early age that my unorthodox ideas have a better chance of being embraced by others, superiors especially, if delivered in a certain manner.

I studied people around me, and worked on perfecting the art of strategic delivery. Basically, I disrupt just the same, if not more, but I do it in such a way that people believe it is what they want, and instead of sprinting ahead of them, I trot along them as they make their way to, well, the conclusion I came up with ages ago. Not always the best use of my time when I want to sprint ahead and move on to bigger and better things, but if this is how the game is played, I choose to do my best at mastering the rules.

Despite being a disruptor, certain routines and habits make me feel comfortable. My husband "made fun" (in very a loving way) of my constant planning and structure, until he realized it's one of various ways I use to cope.

Do I have ADHD or ADD? Maybe, maybe not.

I am stubborn about not taking medications more than I have to, to the point that I will make myself "power through" anxiety, I will make myself focus despite attention disorder, and stubbornly deal with the frustration that comes with it, which in itself is perhaps not the most effective way to go about it, but it's a trade off I have so far been willing to make to stay off the meds as long as I feasibly can. I'd say I have been successful in my student career and professional career, by strategizing (per above) and using other coping mechanisms, as well as recognizing my limits and accepting that failure happens. My experience is just that, the experience of one person and not everyone's.

Speaking of limits, a predictable 9-5 job would be the end of me, because I need my 15-hour-straight work sessions as well as my "don't get out of my PJs all morning and work 2 hours, shower at 5pm, cook a fabulous dinner, greet at the door and pamper my husband" days just the same. I would miserably fail in a 9-5 environment, such as I would fail (or quit and tell him/her where to go) with a micro-managing boss who does not let me call the shots the way I want to, as long as I bring in the business.

You are very much on point to say that there is no right or wrong answer.
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  #190  
Old 02.11.2016, 11:44
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Re: adhd its real

http://www.additudemag.com/adhdblogs/19/12216.html
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  #191  
Old 02.11.2016, 15:06
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Re: adhd its real

With my ADD type clients I tell them that I do not want to change who they are but to learn how to cope in a conforming and sometime demanding society.

ADD has nothing to do with intelligence. Actually in many cases it is quite the opposite. ADD type people are interesting people who are very creative and innovative.

Many of the ADD types also have tremendous anxiety because since they have been children that have been trying to do that which they are not good at doing such as accounting or be some thing they just can not be. As a result they try to force themselves to concentrate which creates a lot of tension and stress.

In my opinion it is how the brain functions. ADD type brains function differently than others. It is not a disease. The problems start when they and their environment do not accept who they are.

It is all learning through training to change how your brain functions.
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Old 02.11.2016, 15:11
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Re: adhd its real

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With my ADD type clients I tell them that I do not want to change who they are but to learn how to cope in a conforming and sometime demanding society.

ADD has nothing to do with intelligence. Actually in many cases it is quite the opposite. ADD type people are interesting people who are very creative and innovative.

Many of the ADD types also have tremendous anxiety because since they have been children that have been trying to do that which they are not good at doing such as accounting or be some thing they just can not be. As a result they try to force themselves to concentrate which creates a lot of tension and stress.

In my opinion it is how the brain functions. ADD type brains function differently than others. It is not a disease. The problems start when they and their environment do not accept who they are.

It is all learning through training to change how your brain functions.
I haven't read anywhere on this thread that people have even mentioned either it's anything to do with intelligence or is it a disease, so I'm not sure why you feel the need to rebuke either.
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  #193  
Old 02.11.2016, 15:13
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Re: adhd its real

Just mentioning it because many people who are ADD do feel that way.
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  #194  
Old 02.11.2016, 16:18
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Just mentioning it because many people who are ADD do feel that way.
What way? It's a different way of being. I've taught a lot of ADD and ADHD kids. About three years in, I realised I was likely ADD myself. The traits in them, I recognised in me. The ways of working that help in my classroom are ways of working that help me. I am both methodically, painfully, organised with information and data but quite chaotic with stuff. Time keeping is hard. I am an ADD adult (not diagnosed as a child, but I was always doing three things at once; doing my homework while listening to the radio; reading a book while watching a film). As one of my best friends puts it, I "flit" and am stuck on a fairly random broadcast.

It feeds my anxiety, which feeds OCD tendencies. Which feeds the ADD until I just want to sleep for a week.
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  #195  
Old 02.11.2016, 16:44
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Re: adhd its real

A lot of ADD type people have low self esteem. Because they do not pay attention and make mistakes and are scolded for it. They are often alienated because they are different.

The school system is usually archaic. Adders are learners by doing.

Once in in awhile there is a teacher like you who understands. These kids are lucky to have you
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  #196  
Old 17.02.2017, 09:35
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Re: adhd its real

For information - report published in Lancet Psychiatry this week.

Children with ADHD have some smaller brain regions, study shows

Researchers suggest disorder should be considered a neurological condition and not simply a behavioural one


Link to CBCNews: http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/adhd-b...ures-1.3983919
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  #197  
Old 08.03.2017, 11:57
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Re: adhd its real

Another meltdown morning with our beloved got me searching for something new to help, I came across this youtube channel which I found good both for adhders and their carers.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-n...Zf91ZGkcgy_95Q
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  #198  
Old 08.03.2017, 16:33
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Re: adhd its real

I watched the video.

I guess what gets me is that ADD/HD is looked upon as a disease. This is the major problem for people in this spectrum. I wonder what the the world would be like if most of the people were of this spectrum.

We really need to get away from these labels. We need to look at how people function. A colleague has tried to develop what we call , biomarkers, for ADD/HD with quantitative eeg(QEEG) but could not. There are so many causes for lack of attention, impulsivity etc.

I have been working with this population for a number of years. You might even say as result of some of my work I brought in the term ADHD into Switzerland to replace the POS. I tell all of my clients in this spectrum that I am not going to change them but rather to help them live in this conforming world.

As to parenting, there needs to be a lot understanding and accepting. It takes a lot of work but it is worth it. Recently I have had clients in this spectrum who were bullied but worse of all not accepted by the parents. They have ended up with developmental trauma.

Don't forget the people in this spectrum have made fabulous contributions to this world. They are innovative, creative, intelligent and curious. I so enjoy working with them.
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