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Old 05.08.2009, 22:59
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Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

Very happy for any help you can provide!

My husband has recently learned a one night stand he had before he met me carried his child. The woman is now sueing for child support. My husband and I live in Switzerland, she lives in Eastern Europe. The issue is my husband makes very little money (1000-2000chf/month depending on the month) since he is a student with a part-time job. Will he still be required to pay child support from this? Will the court count my salary somehow towards what he'll be required to pay, or will it only be based on what he can be reasonably expected to pay? What would be reasonable in this case?

The mother of the child does not have a fixed job either and is sueing him for support towards her total living costs (for instanctwe know her family owns the apartment she lives in with the child, and that she's allowed to stay there for free, though she claims to pay a market price rent on it and is sueing my husband to pay for that) - I know in my native country that would not work, but how about in CH?

Also, how will a Swiss court calculate the child's needs? As the mother and the child live in a much cheaper country than CH, it would seem unfair to us if they would use the same formulas as for someone living here.

We have hired legal help but are not getting answers to these questions from him. Please help.
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Old 05.08.2009, 23:14
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

Welcome to the forum! Good to hear that you trust us in such a difficult situation. I'm familiar with the topic of separated fathers (which is partially similar to yours) but can't tell for sure what to do in your special case. However, there are fathers organizations also down in the Romandie, as a first contact, try this one here (it's in French). If it doesn't help, send me a PM or contact me via my website.
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Old 05.08.2009, 23:22
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

Has it been confiremd with a DNA test that your husband is the father? I really feel for both of you. Good luck.
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Old 05.08.2009, 23:33
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

He needs a paternity test, I agree. I have a feeling if she is suing in her homeland, it will go along the rules there, so it will be calculated according to the quotas per month that are normally awarded there. The fact she states she is paying for the appartment is easily proven by obvious monthly deductions from her bank account, no? Or, by the amount that arrives into her parents account with her being the sender..Sounds all very shakey. I would recommend getting a good lawyer there, who speaks English and who knows the local situation (it might be that the law company you hired already subhired someone who is representing you and them at the court there, but I know nothing about these things, really..). It sucks. Good luck.

Btw, even if you own an appartment you still have to pay a hefty amount a month as a prepayment for services, water, gas, electricity, maintenance of the building, shared areas, cleaning company, garbage, and insurance.

Last edited by MusicChick; 05.08.2009 at 23:48.
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Old 05.08.2009, 23:42
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

The popcorn is popping.
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Old 05.08.2009, 23:44
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

Thank you for the warm welcome! It's indeed a sticky situation and since neither of us is a local, we're unsure how things will go.

To clarify, the mother of the child does not live in Switzerland, but is sueing my husband here. So I assume Swiss laws would be applicable? But would they somehow take into account the mother lives in a different country?

We did insist on a paternity test, as my husband had been using protection during that one night stand. But, unfortunately, the test confirmed he is indeed the father.

It's a valid point that even if one owns the apartment there are still bills to be paid. However, that was an example of how she is sueing my husband for ALL her expenditures - I have been under the impression that normally the man would be expected to CONTRIBUTE to the CHILD'S expenses, not pay for everything for both mother and the child? Especially since they have never had a proper relationship, let alone been married?
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Old 05.08.2009, 23:45
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

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The popcorn is popping.
Glad this is entertainment to someone... I have to admit at the moment I have the feeling our lives have turned into a soap opera.
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Old 05.08.2009, 23:51
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

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Glad this is entertainment to someone... I have to admit at the moment I have the feeling our lives have turned into a soap opera.
Yep, let the games begin.
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Old 05.08.2009, 23:55
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

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Thank you for the warm welcome! It's indeed a sticky situation and since neither of us is a local, we're unsure how things will go.

To clarify, the mother of the child does not live in Switzerland, but is sueing my husband here. So I assume Swiss laws would be applicable? But would they somehow take into account the mother lives in a different country?

We did insist on a paternity test, as my husband had been using protection during that one night stand. But, unfortunately, the test confirmed he is indeed the father.

It's a valid point that even if one owns the apartment there are still bills to be paid. However, that was an example of how she is sueing my husband for ALL her expenditures - I have been under the impression that normally the man would be expected to CONTRIBUTE to the CHILD'S expenses, not pay for everything for both mother and the child? Especially since they have never had a proper relationship, let alone been married?
Hope somebody will answer your questions.. As I am no expert. It is strange she is suing here, sounds like a masterplan, but I am talking out of my butt. I think they must take into an acount how much life costs in her land and also how little your hubby makes. If she was from my homeland I would contact her city council (a dept of social affairs it is called back home) and asked for the quotas that are calculated as a daily need amount for adult and child to survive on, every govt calculates these, so at least you have an idea.

I think if she is on maternity leave, it will officially clasify her unable to work, since for example my govt pays 3 to 4 yrs of maternity, sorry I just reread your thread to realize she already had the child.
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Old 05.08.2009, 23:55
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

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Glad this is entertainment to someone... I have to admit at the moment I have the feeling our lives have turned into a soap opera.
I find it very scary rather than entertaining I hope I don't have any kids somewhere too Do you mind telling me how long between the one night stand and the moment the lady contacted your husband for child support? I mean how old was the child before she contacted you guys?
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Old 05.08.2009, 23:58
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

Strange and unfortunate situation. I am aware that an English expat will not be persued by the CSA in living in Switzerland. I met a man in Pickwicks whose ex wife was trying to raise his payments and the CSA would not get involved. He had a voluntary agreement because of where he was living. Could you perhaps not come to some sort of agreement out of court?
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Old 05.08.2009, 23:59
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

The child is about three years old now... Oh and she's sueing for all the money she feels he owns her between the childbirth and now, too. Including allowance for the delivery. And rent, food etc for the three years, plus of course from now on. So beware if you have had sex with a random person years ago, it might come back to haunt you.

Good idea about trying to get some info from her homeland. I hope they speak English there though...
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Old 06.08.2009, 00:03
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

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Strange and unfortunate situation. I am aware that an English expat will not be persued by the CSA in living in Switzerland. I met a man in Pickwicks whose ex wife was trying to raise his payments and the CSA would not get involved. He had a voluntary agreement because of where he was living. Could you perhaps not come to some sort of agreement out of court?
Unfortunately she's determined to settle this in court. As explained in my first message, my husband hardly has the means to provide substantial financial support at this stage, although he is willing to have a relationship with the child (though this is difficult at the moment given they have no common language). I am unwilling to provide money from my salary towards the child's expenses. She does not understand this and has decided to sue instead.
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Old 06.08.2009, 00:04
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

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Unfortunately she's determined to settle this in court. As explained in my first message, my husband hardly has the means to provide substantial financial support at this stage, although he is willing to have a relationship with the child (though this is difficult at the moment given they have no common language). I am unwilling to provide money from my salary towards the child's expenses. She does not understand this and has decided to sue instead.
What is your husbands nationality, hers and yours?
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Old 06.08.2009, 00:06
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

She's European but outside EU, I'm EU, husban non-European. Would this actually have an impact on the settlement?
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Old 06.08.2009, 00:08
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

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The child is about three years old now... Oh and she's sueing for all the money she feels he owns her between the childbirth and now, too. Including allowance for the delivery. And rent, food etc for the three years, plus of course from now on. So beware if you have had sex with a random person years ago, it might come back to haunt you.

Good idea about trying to get some info from her homeland. I hope they speak English there though...
I would contact your embassy in this case and really ask them for help. There must be somebody there designated for these kind of situations, or who at least knows what the proper procedure is.
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Old 06.08.2009, 00:12
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

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The child is about three years old now...So beware if you have had sex with a random person years ago, it might come back to haunt you.
Sex with only my wife for last 10+ years. If there is an invisible junior out there then he/she must be over 10 years old by now I know what I am going to have a nightmare about tonight! I rather die than have a little mutt....ever!

Alreadyinuse your husband does not earn much but maybe he has savings? Maybe she wants some of that? I don't see why money should come from your income though. It's not your kid. I am not a lawyer.....
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Old 06.08.2009, 00:12
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

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She's European but outside EU, I'm EU, husban non-European. Would this actually have an impact on the settlement?
Not really sure to be honest but I am aware there's some sort of Swiss legal aid for people on low incomes.
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Old 06.08.2009, 00:15
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

Can he claim child support here to send over there?
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Old 06.08.2009, 00:15
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Re: Foreign mother sueing for child support from broke father

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Not really sure to be honest but I am aware there's some sort of Swiss legal aid for people on low incomes.
True, but for that the do count spouse's income as well so we don't qualify.
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