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  #41  
Old 25.08.2009, 01:03
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Re: What wrong to be a single child?

I am #2 of 5 kids.

My older sis and I got along fairly "famously" in our younger years and not so much during adolescence. Stealing boyfriends and "borrowing" each others clothes kinda interferes with a calm relationship.

After us two there is a brother followed by another sis and the baby is another brother. It is so amazing to think that my baby brother will be 30 on his next birthday.


I remember when I was little, when there were things I wanted but we could not afford, I'd wish I'd been an only child. I remember getting into fights with my sister (I have a scar on my hand from where she scratched me once) and wishing I were an only child.

However, I also remember the many many many more occasions when we were confined indoors because of weather, having someone there to help pass the time. Having others there to swap stories with and make up games with.

I also remember the time I asked my mom what those funny pills were. I cried soooooo hard to find out she was taking birth control pills. I asked her if she didn't love us enough to want more like us.

Ahh, the "innocence" of children.
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  #42  
Old 25.08.2009, 01:28
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Re: What wrong to be a single child?

WRS on single kids.. I like listening to these short shows, there are bunch of issues addressed on their site, raising a single child is one of them.

Also, realize that your baby is only a baby, while I think your feelings on the matter are absolutely valid and concerns legitimate, I think most of parents of busy babies feel like they can only have one, it is so overwhelming. And hormonally, you are supposed to feel this way, so your attention is only on your baby, I think women are wired to not want to procreate for a while after they give birth. Whatever you decide in terms of number of children you wish to have, it is utterly your business. People so often don't realize the sensitive things linked to these baby issues...

As per unsolicited advice and nosy peeps, tune them out. It used to irk me, I look young, can totally sympathize with the PP few posts back with the same "problem", we got so many irritating "how irresponsible, young parents" looks, people advizing me constantly on child raising on the street, one woman grabbed my stroller while I was gently rocking my child to sleep, saying frantically I must not rock my child, docs apparently found it damaging, grrrrr.. Or trying to cover/uncover my child as they thought it was too hot/cold, etc. But if I can chose between snotty patronizing looks and people thinking I am a granny, gimme the dirty looks please rather than the granny ones. Just don't open your mouths, haha.
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  #43  
Old 19.10.2011, 23:35
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Re: What wrong to be a single child?

I so want a second child but man, I'm not sure I can handle the work load! Has anyone been so overwhelmed with it? Or is it all worth it?.....
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  #44  
Old 19.10.2011, 23:56
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Re: What wrong to be a single child?

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I'm very social and love to be around people. But if I'm alone, I'm good on my own.
Believe me, when you had moron siblings, you enjoy time alone BIG TIME.
I'm on your side.

On a serious note: Just because one think one makes a decision for oneself does not mean that it is true. The very nature of social behaviour challenges free will as we know it. Behaviour patters can be so penetrantly carved into our subconscience that the only freedom we have is to believe in the illusion of acting out of free will even if the result is the plain conform copy of external expectations.

Short version: free will or subconscious willingness, nobody will ever know. If it feels right, you're already well sorted out. With one, two, three... or zero children.
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  #45  
Old 20.10.2011, 00:06
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Re: What wrong to be a single child?

My brother got married early, much against my parent's wishes (not so much that they didn't like her (they didn't) but that he wasn't going to finish his education just so that he could finally start getting some sex(he's very religious...or, at least...was)). They spat out four kids and homeschooled them (they're all messed up and basically going nowhere), he's gotten divorced and remarried an even bigger loon (didn't think that was possible). Yeah, nobody asks me about my plans.
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  #46  
Old 20.10.2011, 00:39
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Re: What wrong to be a single child?

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I so want a second child but man, I'm not sure I can handle the work load! Has anyone been so overwhelmed with it? Or is it all worth it?.....
been overwhelmed with it.. and its tottaly worthed.

When we wanted our first child i got pregnant not much after we start trying. then we were not planning on having a second. my first was only 3 months when i got pregnant of baby 2.
Being 6,7,8 months preggo with a baby that was still not walking was the most difficult thing at that time, but seriously, dont know how you do it, but you do it.
Now its totally rewarding to me seing both my kids grow together and play together. baby 1 comes and try to feed his little bro, baby 2 copies all what his big bro does, etc

If you and your OH want to do it, its the more important question you have to ask yourselves. the rest is doable
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  #47  
Old 20.10.2011, 09:12
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Re: What wrong to be a single child?

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I so want a second child but man, I'm not sure I can handle the work load! Has anyone been so overwhelmed with it? Or is it all worth it?.....
My second child is now 6 months old. My daughter is incredible with him and I know i made the best decision of my life to go for the second.

Yes, the work load is overwhelming and mostly feel like I am doing laundry 24/7. I am rushing like crazy every morning and every afternoon.

Morning:

Wake up, daugther pipi and breakfast, son' milk and cereal, prepare a coffee, prepare her clothes, bag, change the boy, do an other bunch of things, tell my daughter to eat, unstock the boy from under the chair, drink a sip of my now cold coffee, put shoes of daughter on, kiss goodbye to her and daddy.

Afternoon:

Wake up boy from is nap, put pants on, put him in the stroller, go pick up daughter from school, come back, give her a bath, give her a snack, prepare the dinner, feed the cat, feed the boy, change the boy, check my daughter's newly potty trained skills, empty the little toilet, feed more the boy, finsih to prepare the dinner, fold and/or wash some more clothes, give the boy a bath, sit and eat, put the boy in bed, brush my girl's teeth, give her a glass of milk, get a second one, put her in bed, read a story, kiss good night.

Fall on the couch exausted.

Oh, and now do some training.

Totally worthed.

Start all over again at 7am.

And yes, it is the best decision ever!
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  #48  
Old 20.10.2011, 09:37
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Re: What wrong to be a single child?

I found the most annoying observation from outsiders were the people who presumed you didn't have kids because you enjoyed your double income and life-style too much. If only these people would realize what insensitive, meddling twats they are.
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