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  #21  
Old 31.10.2009, 17:11
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

There's one advise I would give to young people, *don't do it because others do it, take your time, learn how work your body and try to chose the good person*...

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  #22  
Old 31.10.2009, 18:35
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

From the age of 11 to 18 I went to an "all boys" school and my sex education was non existant. I’d picked up the basics of reproduction from older boys in the playground using names for body parts which an anglo saxon in the dark ages would probably have understood. So by the time my Mum got round to asking if I knew where I came from I was able to honestly say I did... and we never discussed it again! On top of going to a single sex school, I had a brother but no sister and so, by the time I left school, I knew girls had different "bits" and what "bit" fitted where, but I had no clue how girls ticked. Any sex education has gotta be better than that

Kids mature at different ages, and girls quicker than boys, which is why I don't think there's a magic age when it should get on the "curriculum". That's why parents are best to judge the timing but I guess schools have a role as "catch all" for kids whose parents duck the subject. As Swissmama says, it's more of a process over time, starting with naming the bits, then moving on through the "how did I get here" reproduction stuff before graduating to contraception and STDs. On the principle of "need to know", girls need to know about "periods" before boys
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  #23  
Old 01.11.2009, 08:42
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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On the principle of "need to know", girls need to know about "periods" before boys
I think by the time girls get their periods, everybody should know what is going on..imho. Spares the boys being clueless about what's up with girls and why there are certain medical issues at times that makes girls different from boys.
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  #24  
Old 01.11.2009, 08:49
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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I was the only child for 7 years before my sister came along and when my mum was pregnant with her, she explained that I was going to have a sister - pointed to her stomach and said my sister was currently living in there at the moment.

Being the curious cat, I asked her how my sister managed to get inside her belly. Did she eat my sister?

That opened up the sex talk. She used all the proper names for all the body parts, how my sister REALLY came about, puberty etc etc. It was most illuminating albeit a little revolting at that time I am really lucky that mum, although Asian (and this topic is much more taboo in the East), was really open about the topic, rather than just brushing me aside.
How true. I'm still waiting for that 'discussion' with either one of my parents!

I agree with the 'earlier the better' sentiment. Kids have sex when they are barely in double digit ages and by the time they are 13 or so, are already sending each other risque photos via mobile phones or internet.
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  #25  
Old 01.11.2009, 09:53
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

Sometimes this does confuse me a little.

Is early sex education not also an early awakening of all the senses and perhaps even stimulating too early experiences?

Then, if everything goes into that direction anyhow, that kids are exposed to it all through the influence of the medias for ex., and then the peer pressure and all, better inform them about all the practicalities and implications as early as possible. That part the schools are taking care of rather well.

Kids who are in Youth groups normally tackle that subject very well too.

Now about what really matters about sex & love might be what is being observed in one's own cercles, like parents, siblings, neighbors.

And don't forget grand parents. some of them are the best teachers one could possibly wish for


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When I was in school, we had in the 6th grade some sex education...more on the biological aspects and stuff...

Wondering some donkeys years on with teenagers starting to have sex at 14 or so, when should sex education begin?

Love to hear your views...
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  #26  
Old 01.11.2009, 11:00
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I had rather 'older' parents, so the birds-n-bees story was left to my second eldest sister to tell. She gave me a booklet titled something like "You Need to Know" by a Dr Nalla Tan (don't know why but I never forgot that name). When I read the part that explains how the penis becomes engorged and sticks out, I burst out laughing 'coz I imagined that happening to my elder brother and dad and the picture was just too ridiculous.

And then came the part that says, "... and the penis is introduced into the vagina..." I burst out laughing again because I had misread it as "being introduced to". So, all in all, it was a bit of a joke for little 12-year-old me.

In the first year of secondary school (a convent, no less), when I was 13, human reproduction was briefly covered in Biology. Nothing about STDs and aspects of pleasure (couldn't have expected more from our blushing bachelor teacher, come to think of it).

Recently though I was shocked to find out from a slightly younger Malaysian that the chapter containing human reproductive diagrams was stapled shut in her Biology textbook, which was lent to students by the government school system. She said, however, among her pals, someone was tasked to undo the staples of her book, everyone pored over the chapter and the diagrams and then they carefully stapled back the chapter shut.

So, I do agree that sex education should be introduced both at home (values) and in school (biological aspects) just before the age of puberty.
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  #27  
Old 01.11.2009, 11:12
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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How true. I'm still waiting for that 'discussion' with either one of my parents!

I agree with the 'earlier the better' sentiment. Kids have sex when they are barely in double digit ages and by the time they are 13 or so, are already sending each other risque photos via mobile phones or internet.
Phil_MCR brought up an excellent point. The teens of today are definitely much more 'developed' than we were back then - probably due to the internet.

We were only taught about reproduction when we were 16, and like argus, during a chapter in biology - the class strangely, ended up doing really well for that particular chapter in the weekly tests. By then, it was a little too late for some, but in this day and age, definitely way too late for more than some.
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  #28  
Old 01.11.2009, 12:30
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I believe in Zurich thet have the courses in the schools in 2nd class. Not all the details but enough to make them acutely aware of the differences... and discuss marriage love and pornography, even, between blushes of mortification and misunderstanding.
In many countries they start in infant school and know the biological proceses by 9 years old, so if you want it to start with a family talk you may need to start a lot earlier than you think.
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  #29  
Old 01.11.2009, 17:43
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I partially grew up on a farm. There, the most natural thing happened every day in stables and on the fields - of course between animals. I must have been around 7 when I saw it for the first time. Simple but clear explanations followed when I inquired how "it" would work with humans. It's just so sad that most of nowaday's kids don't have this opportunity anymore.
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  #30  
Old 01.11.2009, 17:54
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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I partially grew up on a farm. There, the most natural thing happened every day in stables and on the fields - of course between animals. I must have been around 7 when I saw it for the first time. Simple but clear explanations followed when I inquired how "it" would work with humans. It's just so sad that most of nowaday's kids don't have this opportunity anymore.
I think they have it here, the little family farms are all over here. At least where we are, it is nice.

We just got back from one today, its few minutes away. A big cow was at the beginning of the labor, you can walk with your kids through the middle of everything, watch the babies, buy the farm produce, pick your own flowers and get fresh milk.

I am glad though, our little one was too small to notice those little baby calf hooves sticking out of the big cow today, it would probably freak her out.
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  #31  
Old 23.02.2011, 18:33
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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I think they have it here, the little family farms are all over here. At least where we are, it is nice.

We just got back from one today, its few minutes away. A big cow was at the beginning of the labor, you can walk with your kids through the middle of everything, watch the babies, buy the farm produce, pick your own flowers and get fresh milk.

I am glad though, our little one was too small to notice those little baby calf hooves sticking out of the big cow today, it would probably freak her out.
I was at the zoo once when the daddy zebra mounted the mummy zebra and all the mums with kids where freaking out and finding excuses to move on and see something else. But the kids themselves weren't reacting in any innapropriate way so maybe there were some opportunities being missed?
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  #32  
Old 23.02.2011, 18:51
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

They are some very good children books published about that topic. A great help and support for parents for kids as young as 6.
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  #33  
Old 24.02.2011, 10:37
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

The general concensus appears to be to talk about it, certainly sometime around puberty or earlier so my quesation is why are we alls o hung up about sex ?

Sex is biological, love is emotional.

I love my daughter but i've no interest in having sex with her. I'd like to have sex with ............(fill in with fantasy name) but i certainly don't love her.

It just happens i love my wife and having sex with her, but i find it doesn't necessariylé go hand in hand.
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  #34  
Old 24.02.2011, 10:51
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I had some sort of wake-up call when I found my then 9-year old son had looked at webpages that showed naked women/prostitutes (he was old enough to surf but too young to know how you delete your surf history)

The strangest thing was he kept denying it, even though it was obvious that it must have been him.
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  #35  
Old 24.02.2011, 13:30
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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I had some sort of wake-up call when I found my then 9-year old son had looked at webpages that showed naked women/prostitutes (he was old enough to surf but too young to know how you delete your surf history)

The strangest thing was he kept denying it, even though it was obvious that it must have been him.
So his (or the hubby's) first sex-ed lesson could be how to use InPrivate Browsing on IE.
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  #36  
Old 24.02.2011, 13:39
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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I was at the zoo once when the daddy zebra mounted the mummy zebra and all the mums with kids where freaking out and finding excuses to move on and see something else. But the kids themselves weren't reacting in any innapropriate way so maybe there were some opportunities being missed?
I don't think people should panic. Kids will react strangely if they feel the grown ups cringe, so I guess I stay calm and explain stuff to our 4yr old. Not graphically, but pretty correctly. There is no need to lie and make up stuff, she would only be embarrassed later on in school. She is 4, but ohne has to logically explain stuff like pregnancy, where do kids come out, what they eat inside the belly, how they got in, etc. Zoo is probably a handy thing to help, but might be a tad...too graphic, for some sensitive souls? It was so cute my girl asked me when she was about 2,5 if she can go to the store and buy her a sibling.
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  #37  
Old 24.02.2011, 13:48
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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The strangest thing was he kept denying it, even though it was obvious that it must have been him.
I think children (like EFers and, of course, Mods) hate to back down when they have been caught 'misinterpreting the truth', and if asked (or accused) again, they just repeat the same 'fairy tale'. We found it worked better to simply say: 'You say you didn't. We have the feeling you did.' Basta. Sometimes the child will actually admit it then as they feel less 'driven into a corner'.

By the way, this doesn't work with Mods and I don't think it works with EFers either
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  #38  
Old 24.02.2011, 14:12
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

We learned about how to use our junk from Dr. Sommer in "Bravo" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bravo_(magazine) like we all did in the seventies?
Catchphrase: "Want to kiss my girlfriend, will she get pregnent?"
Hey it was a big deal at the time, ask mom that question and you would get your mouth washed out with soap.
Since then I cant kiss a woman without giving her a mouthwash with Pril first.
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  #39  
Old 24.02.2011, 14:42
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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So his (or the hubby's) first sex-ed lesson could be how to use InPrivate Browsing on IE.
I don't know how that works...
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  #40  
Old 24.02.2011, 15:39
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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I think it should be an integral part of the school education from day one. ..
I think school is scary enough on the first day without talking about ones privates.
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