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Old 31.10.2009, 09:32
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Sex education...when should it begin?

When I was in school, we had in the 6th grade some sex education...more on the biological aspects and stuff...

Wondering some donkeys years on with teenagers starting to have sex at 14 or so, when should sex education begin?

Love to hear your views...
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Old 31.10.2009, 09:46
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I guess the sooner the better (around aged 11-12 when puberty is about to hit??), my sister is a pre-school teacher and she teaches the body parts to kids aged 4. And she calls the body parts penis and vagina and no silly names. I know this is not really sex education but it is a beginning. Kids see body parts as natural and not taboo so when they are ready to get sex-ed it will be easier for them. I guess that also should start at home. My mom gave me the talk at 13...my dad tried at 17...too late
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Old 31.10.2009, 09:46
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

It should begin with the parents. About love, relationship, respect and all that stuff.

School lessons should stick to the *biological aspects* of Sex, including all the illnesses and early pregnancy.

Well, that's my thoughts....
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Old 31.10.2009, 10:03
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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she teaches the body parts to kids aged 4. And she calls the body parts penis and vagina and no silly names.
still remember when my GF's kids talked about sex when they were like 9 or something.
"i heard from such-and-such that grownups put their wieners together"
"eeeeeeeeeeuw" (from 3 kids in harmony)
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Old 31.10.2009, 10:35
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I agree on the 'no silly names'!

Maybe I am conservative, but IMO 14 is really too young to start being sexually active...but it seems the trend here now...
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Old 31.10.2009, 10:38
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

Sooner rather than later. There could be little "hints" when the kids start to ask questions about how babies are made or biological differences between genders. I would say that around 11-12 years there should be more formal discussions within the family. As said before in this page, the school should take care of the biological aspects.
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Old 31.10.2009, 10:39
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I think it should be an integral part of the school education from day one. Of course education for a 3 year old will be different from that of a 12 year old. But I feel it is important to include it from the start so that the children see it as something totally natural.
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Old 31.10.2009, 10:46
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

without wanting to shock you ...I believe it should start as early as possible.

I did it with all my lasses ( 19,13 & 11), naming the 'reproductive organs' by their proper name from an early age onwards,having a relaxed attiude to nakedness ,but making it all clear what's ok in your own four walls is not ok in public.

Answer questions basic and simple....such as the where do babies come from
Also, when my kids snapped up words and stuff at school/playground etc and i was 100% they do not know what they are talking about , i discussed it with them in a normal way and explained in a normal way what men and women get up to.

Result, all of them have a good self esteem about themselves and their bodies and it's functions in that regard. All of them know about contraception and STD's, the 2 older ones more obviously than the youngest.

They all know its not important to belong to the crowd by doing 'it' just for the sake of it and know its a precious thing to give to someone and i am sure they will wait until they are ready for it. They also know they can ALWAYS come to me and ask questions, as awkward as they may seem to them
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Old 31.10.2009, 11:03
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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When I was in school, we had in the 6th grade some sex education...more on the biological aspects and stuff...

Wondering some donkeys years on with teenagers starting to have sex at 14 or so, when should sex education begin?

Love to hear your views...
It starts at 12 in secondary schools in the UK - or it did when I was a teacher. I had to give the lessons. It was part of General Science. They learnt about reproduction starting with pollenation and then it moved onto bigger animals. That's when they got the booklets with a naked man next to a naked woman in. Their eyes pop out but as a teacher I had to make out that it was no big deal and merge it in with their general science education. Parents aren't trusted to do it so the schools do it.
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Old 31.10.2009, 11:24
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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I think it should be an integral part of the school education from day one. Of course education for a 3 year old will be different from that of a 12 year old. But I feel it is important to include it from the start so that the children see it as something totally natural.
I agree completely. The later you leave it, and the more closed you are about it, the more of a taboo it will become... and as i'm most of us are aware, if something is taboo then we fantasise and obsess about it in a manner that isn't always healthy, and this leads us to do silly things.

Broach it early and do it tastefully, gradually building the detail as they age and their understanding increases... I think a couple of years before puberty kicks in is a good age to start hitting home what it's all about. It should never be embarassing, and the worst thing I could think of would be my child being too embarassed or awkward to ever mention girls or sex around me.
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Old 31.10.2009, 11:57
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I was the only child for 7 years before my sister came along and when my mum was pregnant with her, she explained that I was going to have a sister - pointed to her stomach and said my sister was currently living in there at the moment.

Being the curious cat, I asked her how my sister managed to get inside her belly. Did she eat my sister?

That opened up the sex talk. She used all the proper names for all the body parts, how my sister REALLY came about, puberty etc etc. It was most illuminating albeit a little revolting at that time I am really lucky that mum, although Asian (and this topic is much more taboo in the East), was really open about the topic, rather than just brushing me aside.

EastEnders couldnt have put it better, which I agree wholeheartedly - start at home on the right foot. It opens the communications channel for your child to come to you and helps the child develop a healthy esteem of their bodies.
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Old 31.10.2009, 12:30
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

......and just another thought of mine.......i don't think it's the school who has to educate our kids in this regards, this is and always will be the responsibility of the parents!

I also get the feeling nowadays too much repsonsibilty is 'outsourced' by parents and other people have to deal with/educate/teach/therapy their offspring in many ways ........

that's just my two cents.........
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Old 31.10.2009, 12:38
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I agree in principle but as in so many other areas, the school needs to be there and kick in where parents fail. Unfortunately not all children are blessed with parents that care.



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......and just another thought of mine.......i don't think it's the school who has to educate our kids in this regards, this is and always will be the responsibility of the parents!

I also get the feeling nowadays too much repsonsibilty is 'outsourced' by parents and other people have to deal with/educate/teach/therapy their offspring in many ways ........

that's just my two cents.........
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Old 31.10.2009, 12:54
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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I agree in principle but as in so many other areas, the school needs to be there and kick in where parents fail. Unfortunately not all children are blessed with parents that care.

Sadly you are right there Tilia
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Old 31.10.2009, 13:31
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I would add to my precedent post that parents should name the *body parts* with the real names and show there's nothing to be ashamed about sexuality or masturbation too ( why such a taboo about masturbation ? ).

As kid we *copy* our parents' behaviour so if the parents have problems with that, the kids will have problems too.

It's now a bit late for our parents, but it still time for us to show our kids what's about Love and Sex.

( well, if I find a partner, I will )

Last edited by Bertrand - Geneva; 31.10.2009 at 13:32. Reason: correct words and add a phrase....
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Old 31.10.2009, 13:38
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I don't know... I think kids growing up now are exposed to a lot more information, input and experiences - even if they only pick it up passively.

I'd say start early with the body parts naming, explaining what's private, and then revisit the topic continuously throughout childhood so you don't end up having to do "the talk" and hoping you haven't left it too late. Kids pick up a LOT of stuff, and the important thing IMO is to make sure it doesn't get convoluted, or associated with things that don't make any sense
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Old 31.10.2009, 15:04
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I have heard stories of 11 year olds showing little ones pornography on mobiles in schools and I was completely schocked. It has made me decide to take on this topic earlier than I thought I should.

Does anyone know if there is sex education in the local schools? I thought of bringing it up with the teachers so i could tie in my talk when the school starts discussing this topic...

Yes...I realised times have changed...sigh...
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Old 31.10.2009, 15:40
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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I have heard stories of 11 year olds showing little ones pornography on mobiles in schools and I was completely schocked. It has made me decide to take on this topic earlier than I thought I should.

Does anyone know if there is sex education in the local schools? I thought of bringing it up with the teachers so i could tie in my talk when the school starts discussing this topic...

Yes...I realised times have changed...sigh...
I agree with you, kids grow up way earlier now then when we were kids.
When I taught 5th and 6th graders I was really surprised how "advanced" their knowledge in terms of sex was (and that is before any serious lessons were done about bees and birds, biology of reproduction, etc). And that was few years back, even.

I can imagine nowadays, with all the latest media and complicated parental control over info that their kids get access to, it may be that our kids will actually start educating us about sex...

(we are still in the "coded" language phase to prevent our toddler happily running around screaming obscenities in public, but I guess we will have to upgrade soon into the real sex terms)
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Old 31.10.2009, 16:37
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

I was always encouraged by my parents to ask questions. I have a somewhat strange (probably muddled by time) memory of me and my father reading a book early on a weekend together when I was 6. Then I think I asked where the baby in the story came from and I was shown through my father's medical texts, exactly how and where babies come from. It wasn't scarring or traumatizing.

I knew that a man and a woman had to come together to make babies, but men could like men and women could like women, and then they had to adopt.

I didn't fully grasp on all the technicalities of sex till I was 13 and we had sexual reproduction chapter in Biology (at my Catholic high school, no less). At that point for some reason (probably b/c puberty was nearing the end) it finally sank in that people like doing this crazy thing called sex and this is how it REALLY works.

All the adults in my life were frank and open about sex. They mentioned the anatomical parts by their proper names. That gave me the knowledge on how to be safe.

The only thing that was somewhat glossed over in my sex ed, was that women can have a good time too, not just the men. My classes were often "and the male orgasms and the sperm are released, which leads to pregnancy". No focus on the (really quite nice) parts of a woman that help make a fulfilling sexual relationship. It was embarrassingly late in life before I figured out how I worked.
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Old 31.10.2009, 17:04
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Re: Sex education...when should it begin?

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I agree on the 'no silly names'!

Maybe I am conservative, but IMO 14 is really too young to start being sexually active...but it seems the trend here now...
I think so too, but that does not mesn you should not tell them about sex and where you stand for example . If they know it is no taboo it will be easier for them to abstain (is this the proper word in English?)
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