If one, hypothetically, were to get an aduki bean stuck in one's ear, how would one, hypothetically, get it out again?

All advice eagerly sought.

if you aduki in, your can aduki out?

Put an ice cube to it. It will contract comparative in size to your warmer ear and you can pull it out.

As a follow-on to that: what would one, hypothetically, be justified in doing to the person who put it there?

(I am thinking 'hide the PG Tips for a week' but all advice gratefully accepted.)

you two crack me up

MN : i'd ban him from eating the cheese!

Ice cube too big, earhole too small, bean too far in. Good thinking though...

That's going a little too far don't you think you can't hide the tea-bags

Best true story regarding foreign objects stuck in anatomical cavities. When I worked in a hospital in the OB-GYN department back in the '80's, word filtered up from the ER about the following family:

Noonish, Mom brings in 4-year-old who had stuck one of the little plastic cars from the board game called "Life" up his nose and couldn't get it out. Doctor removes little car without mishap.

Later that evening, Father comes home from work and is confronted by Mother and Son who relate the story of their day. Father is disbelieving that "big" car could fit in "tiny" nostril of Son and decides to prove a point.

One half hour later, in the same ER, Father arrives with little plastic car stuck in his own nostril. Same doctor removes same car from slightly larger nostril.

I could think of several possibilities:

1. air pressure. Try to suck out the bean with your vacuum cleaner. If the bean does not come out, the air is simply not dense enough. Therefore:
2. water pressure: Put the persons head under water and try to get the bean out with a plumber. If this fails as well,

If both fail, let us know, I have some more ideas.

P.S: What level of harm to the person that has the bean in the ear is acceptable?

fine, so can't cool the bean...

what about warming up the ear instead ?

The way she's going on about it, I'd say quite a lot.


Shag pile setting for that vacuum cleaner, then?

Judging from what I've read so far here, I'd say you've no chance. And you may be on limited rations for some time to come.

I suggest a fish hook. Unbaited.

This thread is silly. Where's a moderator when you need one?

Was the bean dried or is it soft and really hard stuck?

I am not sure how dangerous a vacuum cleaner can be for your ear. I guess quite dangerous. So on a serious second thought, I really believe that it should work best with water in the ear and anything that could generate slow but steady suction. Doctors have some kind of huge syringe to clean an ear, but non of us has this at home... So do you have anything you could possibly use as a "plumber" or suction cup that has the right size to fit there?

It's a dry bean that used to be contained in a cosmetic product. I'm hoping it isn't going to swell up in contact with all that moisture.

Would one's buccal cavity create enough suction to dislodge the bean? Does one love the patient enough to find out?

For an investment of just GBP 30, J. A. Keen will tell you all you need to know.

Or for GBP 30.00 less, WebMD says to do the following (note that it/(s)he says NOT to flush with water!):

• Tilt the head to the side and shake it. Gently pulling the ear up and back may straighten the ear canal and help dislodge the object.
• If the object is visible and the person is calm and cooperative, carefully try to remove the object with blunt-ended tweezers. Do not use non-gripping instruments, such as bobby pins, cotton swabs, or matchsticks. Use care not to push the object farther into the ear.
• Do not try to remove an object if the person will not hold still.
• Do not try to remove an object if it is so far inside the ear that you can't see the tips of the tweezers.
• Do not try to flush an object out with water.
• When trying to remove an object from a child's ear:
  • Speak to the child in a calm, relaxed voice. This will help control the child's fear.
  • An object that is not causing symptoms does not have to be removed immediately. If the child is upset, it may be best to let him or her calm down before trying to remove the object.

I included the tips on children, in case, hypothetically, it was relevant to your hypothetical situation.

What, hypothetically, would someone be doing to get an aduki bean stuck in their ear?

The details of the product say that it is for aching muscles. Has someone been getting a bit of an ear bashing from their other half?

One might, hypothetically, have been enjoying a bout of light-hearted target practice, with unaccustomed success...

That was to be my next suggestion, once you'd pushed the bean further down the aural canal with a pair of tweezers.

Was a buccal cavity, along with a matching trachea, employed in the original misplacement of the azuki (as it's apparently now spelled) bean?

We find it works for other stuff too. (or it does until it goes all melty and the beans start falling everywhere...)

...yep, done that already...

Did the product description explicitly tell you not to fling the aduki beans into users ears? If not, sue the producer in their home country, this is a clear case of product liability.