Xxxxxxxxxs

Sorry to hear that Mimi.

You are a trooper though .

Sounds like the separation was not acrimonious, which in itself must be a relief.

Good for you in getting yourself sorted - something to be proud of and to help motivate you further.

Well done Mimi, a good encouragement for many out there.
Is there anyone who can tell their story when you are not a working mother?

Well done you, wish you both all the best in your new life, hope you and dad can move forward in a positive way for your little girl. 2 happy seperated parents are better than 2 sad together ones.

and sure we women, are designed to plough forward and get it done

Well Done Mimi!

I was thinking of you a lot this weekend! I am very happy to hear you had a lot of help!

I have a question, since you HAVE to work to be able to pay your bills and you HAVE to send munchkin to kindergarten, can't you have the father to help for that?

I am happy to hear that despite of the sad story about the split, things fitted quite well in your new universe. Needless to say, all the best in this new and hopefully exciting phase in your life, you deserve it!

Better to end in fright than a fright without end as the saying goes.
15% sounds rather cheap if you ask me. But I have been paying for my kids according to the German Düsseldorf tables.
Thankfully my ex remarried and I have long stopped paying for her but paying for the children drains a lot of cash every month.

Yeah, must be awful having to pay for your children.

This is not the subject.

And he didn't say or mean something like that!

15% doesn't sound like much but it depends on how much he earns i guess.
Anyway sounds terrible that your child is so young that you decided this. At such a time when the children are so young it best to grin and bear it for a bit as from pregnancy to 2 years old is a funny time for both parents, especially with the first child.
I don't know your circumstances and am glad you are settled now, maybe in the future you could get some more from the father as the costs of bringing a child up are expensive.
I know that if it were me and I had spare money I would still help you out, however I have been through bringing children up so understand how difficult it is. Your Ex may not understand this.
Most people who haven't had children continually advise me how to bring them up and how much they cost - idiots!

If a single mother has to work, the gemeinde usually subsidizes the child-care cost. The way of doing it though differes a lot from gemeinde to gemeinde.

What a positive post for such a hard and difficult situation, if I ever find myself in that situation I only hope I am able to deal with it as well as you seem to have.

Kudos to you lady

15 % is very good, I'm sure in the UK and I know in other EU countries it is a lot less.

Good luck! It's better to be alone and happy with your child than unhappy in a couple trying to hide it from your child.

things were rotten in Denmark before she was born. I don't want to bad mouth him on a public forum but trust me there was no way me and bubs could continue living as we were.

Nope. Not his responsibility. It's intended to stop us foreigners coming here, getting preggers by their men and getting money without working. I don't mind, I'm proud to do it alone and anything is better than nothing.

It is understandable in a way as if he doesn't pay or loses his job the gemeinde pay it for him and he owes them.

Pointless being bitter or trying to get more as all I care about is me and babe being happy and having a roof over our heads. One day daycare will end and she'll go to kindergarten which doesn't cost.

Glad everything worked out for you mims, that was a heartwarming little tale to read. All the best for the future to you and sproglet.

I feel proud of you ! (even though I've never met you )
You will see soon enough that everything was for the better.

Hugs!

Mimi, I was left with 3 boys under 5, with no education and no prospects. I so remember that frightened feeling and thoughts of how you are going to cope, which you so eloquently describe. It is so overwhelming.

You did the right thing by taking control and the more you do of that, the more you will want to do and the harder that independence will be to give up, eventually.

Time moves on and from your life changing event now, will change you so much for the better.

The one legacy that stayed with me is I am scared of nothing. I fight shy of no hurdle, because I learned if I can cope with all I did with three babies, I sure as hell can deal with things alone. Nothing phases me or has ever overwhelmed me like it did that first time.

I went back to school got an education that enabled me to get a job to keep a roof over our head, so really did start from the lowest baseline but the "fighting"- just get on with it spirit, which I came away with, put me on such a right track I now have excelled most of my peers who had a safe and steady life.

I also have three lovely sons in their late teens and 20s now, who are very proud of their mum and who have a mum who is very proud of her boys.

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Gal x

__________________
Career advice? http://www.englishforum.ch/commercia...st-zurich.html

Thanks everyone for your lovely messages and pm's. It's people like you that keep this forum alive and keep me inspired to help others with my experiences. Rock on mimi and mini mimi we are going to be fine!