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  #41  
Old 18.02.2011, 12:13
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Hi Angela, this is great news !!!

i'll PM you for questions, I will also go through the same process, we are actually collecting all paperworks for now.


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Hi Guys,

As I promised to keep you guys posted on how the procedure and paperwork were going, I have to say we are almost, almost done with the proceedings prior to the decision the social workers will take about letting us adopt. The road was a bit thorny as we got asked personal/private/you would not imagine!! questions but it is going to be worth it. It has been almost 10 months since we started collecting paper work and meeting with social worker, filling questionnaires and attending a course.
At th beginning on April we have our final meeting with the social worker so YAY! Cross your fingers for us please, after that, if we are approved then we can send our file to Peru and wait for a match

Phew!!!!!!!

PS: If anyone has questions about the procedure please PM me
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  #42  
Old 18.02.2011, 12:35
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

I was adopted and it is the best thing you can do. I hope your future kids turn out nice like me. I love my mum and dad.
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  #43  
Old 18.02.2011, 13:21
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Is the process of adopting from that country facilitated by the fact that you're a Peruvian citizen (you still are, I presume)? Or do they only look at the fact that you're doing it from Switzerland?
That is a good question. The procedure is facilitated for me because I am Peruvian, but this only means that they give preference to Peruvian citizens because then the adopted children are still connected to their original culture and this is really helpful when they grow up. To the second part of your question, I can adopt from Peru if I live in a country that has signed the "hague" convention...which is a treaty for best adoption procedures, to prevent abduction and child trafficking. Since CH is part of the convention then I am allowed to adopt from Peru, but so is any Swiss resident
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  #44  
Old 18.02.2011, 13:46
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Angela-74 I did a search of your posts and from what I can see you will make an excellent mother.
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  #45  
Old 18.02.2011, 13:47
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Angela-74 I did a search of your posts and from what I can see you will make an excellent mother.
Thanks ... I think
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  #46  
Old 28.06.2011, 16:12
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Hi Guys,

I have been keeping away from the EF because for the past couple of weeks I have just been furious. Our petition to adopt was denied by the Basel adoption office. They had a list of 8 items that were considered "risks" for the child, and as much as I appreciate the authorities taking care that a child is not put in danger, I would have appreciated if these items were fact and not mere opinions or wild guesses.
I am not planning on going into detail but the two major points they gave us were:
1.- we speak too many languages and that may be confusing for the child, which could be a point but I do not see why we would not be able to overcome it
2.- we don't have family here so if we are both sick who is going to take care of the child? ever heard of planes or nannies? Guess not

So we are going to withdraw our petition...we are so frustrated with the CH authorities...

Last edited by Angela-74; 28.06.2011 at 16:20. Reason: silly typo argh!
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  #47  
Old 28.06.2011, 16:35
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Hi Guys,

I have been keeping away from the EF because for the past couple of weeks I have just been furious. Our petition to adopt was denied by the Basel adoption office. They had a list of 8 items that were considered "risks" for the child, and as much as I appreciate the authorities taking care that a child is not put in danger, I would have appreciated if these items were fact and not mere opinions or wild guesses.
I am not planning on going into detail but the two major points they gave us were:
1.- we speak too many languages and that may be confusing for the child, which could be a point but I do not see why we would not be able to overcome it
2.- we don't have family here so if we are both sick who is going to take care of the child? ever heard of planes or nannies? Guess not

So we are going to withdraw our petition...we are so frustrated with the CH authorities...
Damn Angela, I'm really sorry to hear that. Surely a multilingual environment is an advantage for any child, adopted or not? Do they not ready scientific literature? Most of us don't have any family here either, are the authorities going to take our children away too?
Do you have any avenue for recourse?
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  #48  
Old 28.06.2011, 16:39
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Damn Angela, I'm really sorry to hear that. Surely a multilingual environment is an advantage for any child, adopted or not? Do they not ready scientific literature? Most of us don't have any family here either, are the authorities going to take our children away too?
Do you have any avenue for recourse?
We can recourse but we have decided not to, I am so frustrated that I am thinking why even try here? Hence my Belgium thread
I have NEVER seen people having such narrowmindedness, thinking like these are the middle ages!
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  #49  
Old 28.06.2011, 16:49
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Angela, I am sorry to hear that!!! I don't know the specifics, except what you posted, and I am in no way qualified to question their judgement, but purely based on what I am reading, if these are their primary reasons, they seem pretty bogus to me!!! If anything, it should be a PLUS to be able to grow up in a culturally vibrant, multilingual environment. I could perhaps see their point in saying that having an extended family around is a good thing (in general), BUT I definitely disagree that the lack thereof should consitute a valid reason to deny an adoption application.

I appreciate the concern of guaranteeing a child the best possible environment to grow up in, but one must wonder: after all, what is the alternative? Growing up with a loving family (even without grandparents living in the vicinity!) vs in an orphanage (for example - as I said, I don't know the specifics of your case)?

Stay positive - although I'm sure it's hard. Any chance to appeal the decision, or is it final?
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  #50  
Old 28.06.2011, 16:49
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Hi Guys,

I have been keeping away from the EF because for the past couple of weeks I have just been furious. Our petition to adopt was denied by the Basel adoption office. They had a list of 8 items that were considered "risks" for the child, and as much as I appreciate the authorities taking care that a child is not put in danger, I would have appreciated if these items were fact and not mere opinions or wild guesses.
I am not planning on going into detail but the two major points they gave us were:
1.- we speak too many languages and that may be confusing for the child, which could be a point but I do not see why we would not be able to overcome it
2.- we don't have family here so if we are both sick who is going to take care of the child? ever heard of planes or nannies? Guess not

So we are going to withdraw our petition...we are so frustrated with the CH authorities...
Sorry to hear this Angela, and understand the frustration. However, since these reasons are baseless, I encourage you to appeal against it and keep going forward. I pray that it works out for you!
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  #51  
Old 28.06.2011, 16:49
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Ah, ok, I see you decided not to appeal.
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  #52  
Old 28.06.2011, 16:51
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Thanks for the moral support guys. We have no energy to appeal, we have been under scrutiny for over a year, been judged and we are just tired. I just wanna leave
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  #53  
Old 28.06.2011, 16:53
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Thanks for the moral support guys. We have no energy to appeal, we have been under scrutiny for over a year, been judged and we are just tired. I just wanna leave
Is it easier or possible for you to just go to Peru and do it from there?
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  #54  
Old 28.06.2011, 16:55
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Is it easier or possible for you to just go to Peru and do it from there?
Not legally We would have to move there...
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  #55  
Old 28.06.2011, 16:58
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Dear Angela, I'm so sorry to hear this. What a shameful way to prove what an "excellent" admin Basel has.

Friends of us, who live in Basel have adopted a boy from Thailand - it was a long process of over 4 years. With lots of painful moments for the couple and till the end they did not believe it as there were so many pitfalls.

If I can be of help, just PM (I speak German and know my way through authorities).

All I can say "don't let authority get in the path of your own life". It's not worth it. From my own experience (not in this field, but in another) I can really confirm it's worth the fight.

Wish you lots of good thoughts for the moment.
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  #56  
Old 28.06.2011, 17:02
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Thanks for the moral support guys. We have no energy to appeal, we have been under scrutiny for over a year, been judged and we are just tired. I just wanna leave
I am not a person who gives up easily, but in this case would I do the same. I would have been surprised if the plan had worked easily. My sister made a similar experience in Germany: My BiL and here are both civil servants with a fixed income for life, enough money and space for a child and prepared to offer a kida life most children could only dream about - but since there are simply more applications than children do the authorities have to choose.
If you rule out the obviously cases of people that probably shouldnt adopt a child are you still left with a too large amount. At some point does it apparently depend on weather or not the state employed psychologist likes your face or not. They can of course never say so and will always give some not so logical bullshit reasons like in your case... don't try to understand it, just walk away.
I'd been surprised if a Swiss civil servant would have picked you if he had many "ordinary" cases of Swiss families to choose from. It's the typical Swiss uncertainty avoidance - they don't ask "why not?", they ask "why?" instead...
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  #57  
Old 28.06.2011, 17:04
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

I'm a person who never gives up, especially when someone throws stones at my path. It brought me quite far in life, but also in trouble sometimes. If I really hate something is when so called authorities define a personal life.

Just found this, Angela - it's in German, but quite self explanatory. Sometimes going away is such a great remedy to clear everything out, especially negative thoughts.

http://www.deindeal.ch/deals/luxus-f...a_bid=62e0def7

http://www.greenstreet.ch/cms/
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Old 28.06.2011, 17:09
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

well guys that is exactly my point, you would not believe the load of toss we were given!
They told us that we did not have friends that were good friends because how can we if we are foreigners? and they told us that adopted children were difficult, they would steal, hurt people and destroy things and then we would lose all our friends. I do understand enough German to know what I was being told and this is just one more pearl.
I do not deny they had a couple of points that had a base, they said I am not 100% healthy and that is true, but they also sent me to a state doctor that gave me a lot of tests and SHE told me I was fit and that she did not understand why they had sent me...still they said well it could also be a problem...so really? THEIR doctor said it wasn't but they still thought so...ok I better stop or Ill destroy the PC
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Old 28.06.2011, 17:16
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Angela, just give it couple of days, these times are hard, but I am sure you will wake up one morning and think of it differently and have the energy to continue. To me, all the points that they have said are easily disputable. Maybe they just want to push you back to see if you really really mean to do it. And when you appeal, they will ok it. Don't lose heart yet, because if you do so now, you might regret later..
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Old 28.06.2011, 17:20
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Angela, just give it couple of days, these times are hard, but I am sure you will wake up one morning and think of it differently and have the energy to continue. To me, all the points that they have said are easily disputable. Maybe they just want to push you back to see if you really really mean to do it. And when you appeal, they will ok it. Don't lose heart yet, because if you do so now, you might regret later..
Oh no, this was two weeks ago...we already met and discussed this and they still said no because of the first two points I explained.
BTW this is "just" the drop that filled the bucket, my brother's visa was also denied because his programme was not in German, because he was too old (32) and because they thought he could study some place else and not here because they did no see a good reason (the fact that I live here and he would not have to pay room and board did not seem that convincing hmmm)....
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