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  #61  
Old 28.06.2011, 17:26
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

its a pretty f***ked up jobsworth person who thinks a child is better off in an orphanage then with a family that desperately want them
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Old 28.06.2011, 17:27
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Angela, I am so very sorry.
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Old 28.06.2011, 17:27
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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its a pretty f***ked up jobsworth person who thinks a child is better off in an orphanage then with a family that desperately want them
Well in all honesty, they said that there were around 3 applications per child in adoption...where they get these figures I still wonder!
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  #64  
Old 28.06.2011, 17:50
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Angela, don't give up.

You are made and build to be a mother!

Everyone who saw you with kids will tell you this! That person who was in charge of your files was obviously a D**khead. So many couples get this wonderful chance to adopt, you'll have your too. Don't let this person, this system and this country get in your way to be a mother.

Huge kisses Honey!

Nil
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  #65  
Old 28.06.2011, 17:59
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Hi Guys,

I have been keeping away from the EF because for the past couple of weeks I have just been furious. Our petition to adopt was denied by the Basel adoption office. They had a list of 8 items that were considered "risks" for the child, and as much as I appreciate the authorities taking care that a child is not put in danger, I would have appreciated if these items were fact and not mere opinions or wild guesses.
I am not planning on going into detail but the two major points they gave us were:
1.- we speak too many languages and that may be confusing for the child, which could be a point but I do not see why we would not be able to overcome it
2.- we don't have family here so if we are both sick who is going to take care of the child? ever heard of planes or nannies? Guess not

So we are going to withdraw our petition...we are so frustrated with the CH authorities...
I started reading the thread with such emotion hoping for the big news and at this point im so upset to read that. Its so unfair, not only for you and your family, but for that little one that was going to have such an amazing opportunity. I do understand authority trying to secure the kids, but give me a break, language? how many multilingual families we have just in this forum, let alone the rest of the world. And as you said you were trying for a baby? instead of a grown kid, so the baby will start living with you and will get used to it in a heart bit.
I think when someone makes the decision of adopting authorities MUST help them instead of making them backout, is not like there are more couples looking to adopt than kids needing a loving family

Angela tengo el corazˇn apachurradito, en serio te mando un muy fuerte abrazo. Animo, ya vendra la oportunidad!
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  #66  
Old 28.06.2011, 19:31
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Oh Angela I'm so sorry to hear this. Hopefully the Belgian thing will work out for you and you can try there if you've really given up hope here.

I know it's not easy in Belgium either but I know for certain that the two main objections cited in Basel won't be a problem there.
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Old 28.06.2011, 20:34
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Angela tengo el corazˇn apachurradito, en serio te mando un muy fuerte abrazo. Animo, ya vendra la oportunidad!
Muchas gracias !!!

Really guys thanks, I really did not know wheather to write this or not, we got the news two weeks ago and I thought about it but I guess I needed to close this chapter of our lives. We are doing better now but not reallys in the mood for partying...but we'll get over it soon enough

Thanks!
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  #68  
Old 28.06.2011, 20:47
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Ugh, I am so sorry. I wish I had some brilliant advice, but i don't.
Stupid bureaucratic reasoning in both cases.... but again, I am so sorry.

Bah, batsh*t.

Take care...

e.
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  #69  
Old 28.06.2011, 21:26
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Angela I am so very sorry - I don't really know what else to say, you know I understand your plight and it makes me so sad that you have had another knock back. The adoption trail is so tough - I am not sure i could have gone through it - it takes strong people to contemplate the lengthy intrusion into your life - big hugs xx
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Old 23.08.2011, 20:36
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Sorry for bringing this up again, but for a couple of days i hav ebeen thinking that I shouldnt just take this decision and walk away, I am not sure if I am prepared to fight, but I am prepared to write a letter complaining of about the nonsensical reasons they gave us for denying adoption to us, and also the ridiculous examples given to us.
No one should have to deal with people like this...
Now, I am writing the letter, question is who do I direct it to? Of course not the people I interviewed with!! Any ideas kids??
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  #71  
Old 23.08.2011, 20:39
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

This is TOTAL bollocks. Doesn't anyone see a contradiction between:

1. You can't adopt because your family don't live there.
2. They won't grant your family/brother a study Visa.

THEY ARE THE CAUSE OF NUMBER 1. FFS.
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  #72  
Old 23.08.2011, 20:40
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Sorry for bringing this up again, but for a couple of days i hav ebeen thinking that I shouldnt just take this decision and walk away, I am not sure if I am prepared to fight, but I am prepared to write a letter complaining of about the nonsensical reasons they gave us for denying adoption to us, and also the ridiculous examples given to us.
No one should have to deal with people like this...
Now, I am writing the letter, question is who do I direct it to? Of course not the people I interviewed with!! Any ideas kids??
Pay a professional in the subject to write a sworn opinion on each of their points.
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Old 23.08.2011, 20:42
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Pay a professional in the subject to write a sworn opinion on each of their points.
I am putting my thoughts in order right now, and writing a draft. I have a very clear head now (must be the fan :S).
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  #74  
Old 23.08.2011, 20:47
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

No need to apologize. This is something very dear and close to your heart and you've every right to want to challenge the decision.

It's good you've been able to step away - so to speak - from it for a while and have thus come back with renewed positive fervour, determination and focus.

Very best of luck with this Angie and stay strong!!!
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  #75  
Old 23.08.2011, 21:02
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

That is so frustrating Angela! Seriously, these authorities don't seem to have a clue about the need in Peru for adoptions. Have they done any research? Have you shown them the statistics of needy children in your country?

I spent some time in Peru working at an orphanage and I was shocked to see so many children abused, abandoned, hungry and suffering on the streets. You're just trying to be a decent human being who gives a damn and friggin' bureaucracy is standing in the way!!!!

Makes me so seething mad that these fat cats are sitting on their asses all day living their pristine Euro life and not giving a crap about really helping children. I say fight it - albeit with a clear head and maybe some statistics about the conditions for a lot of the children in Peru. Maybe someone will have a heart somewhere down the line....
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Old 23.08.2011, 21:07
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Ok I am writing the letter and I do not remember all the points but 6 out of 8...and I am already at two pages ...
Musings: I have to admit that I have done my research and that the government of Peru has already said they have too many requests as compared to adoptable children. Not all children in orphanages can be adopted, the same as no all parents can adopt...
Now if they had given me reasons this would be acceptable but really....
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  #77  
Old 23.08.2011, 21:40
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Perhaps it may be worth contacting:
Bundesamt fŘr Justiz
Zentralbeh÷rde zur Behandlung internationaler Adoptionen
Bundesrain 20
CH-3003 Bern

This is the Federal Office of Justice
Central Authority for International Adoptions. They may be able to direct you to the named person you should contact. There is an e-mail contact on the website.

http://www.bj.admin.ch/bj/de/home/th..._adoption.html

Take care Angela
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  #78  
Old 23.08.2011, 21:43
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

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Ok I am writing the letter and I do not remember all the points but 6 out of 8...and I am already at two pages ...
Musings: I have to admit that I have done my research and that the government of Peru has already said they have too many requests as compared to adoptable children. Not all children in orphanages can be adopted, the same as no all parents can adopt...
Now if they had given me reasons this would be acceptable but really....
I guess I'm not clear on how they can have so many requests yet still have so many children in need. I bet a lot of even the adoptable ones have to wait for years for all the bureau crap....I just wish the process can be sped up because the longer the children suffer the greater their chances of suddenly becoming "un-adoptable" due to health, emotional, or psychological reasons. So sad.

Before we got engaged, my husband and I had some long discussions about adopting in case I couldn't get pregnant. Peru was at the top of our list due to my experiences there and fondness for its beautiful children.

Keep up the good fight and keep us posted. You have a beautiful heart to share with a deserving child and I know you'll succeed. Bonne chance~
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Old 23.08.2011, 21:54
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Hi Angela,

I have just read your story... so sad and unfair... it touched me deeply. Please, please do not give up! Not after all this time! I know it must have been difficult, and I know it still is, but please do not give up faith!

I wish you all the best in the world! Huge hug!
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Old 23.08.2011, 21:57
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Re: International Adoptions: where to begin?

Angela, I would suggest you prepare your letter with all of the logical points as well as your feelings, and then get a lawyer specialized in family matters. A lawyer is a 3rd party, he/she knows the code of law and will know what will be accepted, where you can litigate and what to let go of.

A big hug, you are a lovely lady and it was wonderful meeting you.
You'll be a lovely mama for sure
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