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Old 07.10.2010, 22:55
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Epic Wind!

Somebody in our village is suffering from an explosive (and really rather noxious) case of flatulence.

Since my wife is too embarassed to ask about it, and rest of the village is asleep, it is left to me to throw myself upon the mercy of the internets and ask for advice.

If somebody in your village was killing canaries in such a manner, late at night, without access to a pharmacy or a ready supply of charcoal, what would you do about it?

I'm not sure I can stand much more of this... indeed, I may have to remove myself to another room...
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:00
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Re: Epic Wind!

Another room, you say?
You'll be removing yourself to the bloody balcony if this keeps up!


We have fennel tea and I've made him drink some of that - didn't help. Would ginger or coriander be any good?
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:03
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Re: Epic Wind!

You'll just have to wait a while until your digestive track settles back to normal.
This, I believe, is rather common after an operation ?
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:04
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Re: Epic Wind!

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Somebody in our village is suffering from an explosive (and really rather noxious) case of flatulence.
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Another room, you say?
You'll be removing yourself to the bloody balcony if this keeps up!


We have fennel tea and I've made him drink some of that - didn't help. Would ginger or coriander be any good?
Thanks guys. You're better than watching Corrie
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:04
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Re: Epic Wind!

Activated charcoal? Do they have that there?
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:06
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Re: Epic Wind!

yes they do, you can find it in the pharmacy.
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:06
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Re: Epic Wind!

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Somebody in our village is suffering from an explosive (and really rather noxious) case of flatulence.

Since my wife is too embarassed to ask about it, and rest of the village is asleep, it is left to me to throw myself upon the mercy of the internets and ask for advice.

If somebody in your village was killing canaries in such a manner, late at night, without access to a pharmacy or a ready supply of charcoal, what would you do about it?

I'm not sure I can stand much more of this... indeed, I may have to remove myself to another room...
Timothy Taylor Landord in vast amounts will fix the problem. If that's not available then Marstons Pedigree might work, if not Rappi Gold. Actually, that may make it worse, but after 12 bottles, will you worry?
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:07
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Re: Epic Wind!

Well, there is always "Plan B"....

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Old 07.10.2010, 23:07
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Re: Epic Wind!

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Somebody in our village is suffering from an explosive (and really rather noxious) case of flatulence.

Since my wife is too embarassed to ask about it, and rest of the village is asleep, it is left to me to throw myself upon the mercy of the internets and ask for advice.

If somebody in your village was killing canaries in such a manner, late at night, without access to a pharmacy or a ready supply of charcoal, what would you do about it?

I'm not sure I can stand much more of this... indeed, I may have to remove myself to another room...

Wuss... Get the matches out, and get ready for a Dutch oven with fireworks... Events like this come not often. Take a video cam with you. YouTube the culprit...
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:07
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Re: Epic Wind!

So what, just don't make it a habit...

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Old 07.10.2010, 23:07
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Re: Epic Wind!

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Activated charcoal? Do they have that there?
They sell it in the pharmacies, I presume. Except it's after eleven o' clock, and it's too late to go into town to find a 24 hour one.



Would the scrapings from the skillet do the trick?
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:11
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Re: Epic Wind!

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...Would the scrapings from the skillet do the trick?
Sure, but only if washed down with one or more beers.
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:12
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Re: Epic Wind!

Aren't you supposed to be on a gut friendly nazi diet?

I'd call a doc in the morning just to make sure you are healing ok.
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:12
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Re: Epic Wind!

Ok, now that I've stopped laughing - I read somewhere that a normal person passes wind on an average of 14 times a day. Any more is excessive and probably due to something you've eaten.

After eating flatulence-causing foods, the gas will be expelled between five and seven hours. So, to check what you could have eaten that might have caused excessive flatulence, work back that number of hours. Avoid that from now on. Handy little number of tips to reduce flatulence by the Harvard bunch:

http://www.health.harvard.edu/health...eat_121807.htm

In the meantime, MathNut, I recommend putting him in the cellar. I dont want the smell to travel down from the lake to me

*off to check wind direction*


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Old 07.10.2010, 23:13
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Re: Epic Wind!

I like all the beer related suggestions, but, alas, apart from whisky (which I daren't risk as I have a very important appointment in the morning), there is nothing alcoholic in the house.

Not even port, as it was drunk by mice earlier in the week.

Bloody mice. I suspect it might be them who's farting.

My wife, of course, is sitting with that 'butter wouldn't melt' expression on her face...

So it must be the mice...
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:14
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Re: Epic Wind!



Woah there...

DB and MathNut share a room... you mean it was a wedding, as in real life?

Anyway, (wo)man up. You married him farts an' all...

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Old 07.10.2010, 23:16
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Re: Epic Wind!

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...there is nothing alcoholic in the house...
Where are you posting from, then?

"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a DRUNK. Alcoholics go to meetings."
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:16
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Re: Epic Wind!

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So, to check what you could have eaten that might have caused excessive flatulence, work back that number of hours.
I've eaten nothing for hours, now. The last thing I ate, at lunchtime, was a very small plate of venison, potatoes and brussels sprouts.

It couldn't possibly have been that.

Quote:
I'd call a doc in the morning just to make sure you are healing ok.
That's where I'm going anyway. I'm having me stitches out!

I hope I don't burst in the process.

For the doctor's sake, if nothing else...
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:22
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Re: Epic Wind!

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Aren't you supposed to be on a gut friendly nazi diet?

I'd call a doc in the morning just to make sure you are healing ok.
Nope, no special diet past the first couple of days in hospital. They warned us about flatulence during those first days - but it's been two weeks! And he was absolutely fine up until yesterday...

He's not kidding about the *small* portion of sprouts today (maybe 5-6 sprouts) - that was my first thought too.
Right now I don't care too much what started it though! Was hoping there would be some little-known already-in-your-cupboard herbal remedy, one cup of tea and no more flatulence - but maybe not.

Summerrain, the cellar is not a bad idea. Warmer than the balcony. (See, Carlos, I am a caring wife!)
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Old 07.10.2010, 23:22
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Re: Epic Wind!

Good luck tomorrow. And let it rip, you are afterall a convalescent. Passing wind is a good sign that your guts work.

Now, for the diet, though, it is I think important...mild mild stuff. Venison? Brussel sprouts? Brussel sprouts are the most bloating things you can put into your poor post-op guts.

Last edited by MusicChick; 07.10.2010 at 23:37.
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