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  #61  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:15
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

It seems fairly clear that here in Switzerland, the laws will be on the mother's side, so the OP should follow the advice of many here and go that route. It probably won't be much fun, but it seems that is the only option at this point.

In terms of men who say they don't want children and their partners "trick" them by going off the pill (or other type of contraceptive), there is a very simple procedure that will solve that problem. If you are so certain you don't want kids, make a doctor's appointment and get snipped. I know quite a few men who say they will never have kids, but would never have this done....to them I guess they can never say never.
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  #62  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:16
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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To Cashboy: Heard of condoms? Something the guy can use and prevent paternity.
To be fair, I don't think Cashboy was saying that men don't have a choice. He was just saying that women do have a choice.
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  #63  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:17
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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I disagree. The woman wants to keep the baby to fulfill her own maternal instinct / her own childwish. So in effect the man is financing her 'hobby'
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Sure, but sometimes it´s not simply a principle, sometimes you learn that your ex goes on holiday in Greece, buys the latest plasma-tv, drives a mean car..and you know she couldn´t possibly afford all that on her salary.
So men sometimes really do get pissed off for a very good reason.
Many men would be thrilled if it was just a mascara buy that is doubtful.
Ok, guys, I kinda think this is some serious hijacking, considering the difficulties OP is facing, so I wouldn't even get into this, or at least not in this thread...

(If a child benefits from holidays in Greece and has a nice new large TV to watch his cartoons on, why be a stingy dad? So, can go both ways...)
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  #64  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:18
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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I disagree. The woman wants to keep the baby to fulfill her own maternal instinct / her own childwish. So in effect the man is financing her 'hobby'
Well I think terming it a "hobby" is triviliasing it somewhat unnecessarily... th urge to bear offspring in women is a poweful primeval drive that's been with us since the dawn of evolution, and as with all emotional and instinctual drives, they don't always necessarily pair with rational thought and common sense, or take all sensible factors into consideration.

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Ok, guys, I kinda think this is some serious hijacking, considering the difficulties OP is facing, so I wouldn't even get into this, or at least not in this thread...
We have requested a split, it just hasn't been actioned yet.
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  #65  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:19
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Ok, guys, I kinda think this is some serious hijacking, considering the difficulties OP is facing, so I wouldn't even get into this, or at least not in this thread...

(If a child benefits from holidays in Greece and has a nice new large TV to watch his cartoons on, why be a stingy dad? So, can go both ways...)
I guess you´ll never really know, unless it happens to you personally.
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  #66  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:21
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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It seems fairly clear that here in Switzerland, the laws will be on the mother's side, so the OP should follow the advice of many here and go that route. It probably won't be much fun, but it seems that is the only option at this point.

In terms of men who say they don't want children and their partners "trick" them by going off the pill (or other type of contraceptive), there is a very simple procedure that will solve that problem. If you are so certain you don't want kids, make a doctor's appointment and get snipped. I know quite a few men who say they will never have kids, but would never have this done....to them I guess they can never say never.
nice argument. So if you are 18, young and foolish, don't want children, but think your partner might lumber you with them through trickery, your advice would be to permanently remove your ability to ever have children in your life.
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  #67  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:21
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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I guess you´ll never really know, unless it happens to you personally.
Yes, absolutely.
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  #68  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:24
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Well I think terming it a "hobby" is triviliasing it somewhat unnecessarily... th urge to bear offspring in women is a poweful primeval drive that's been with us since the dawn of evolution, and as with all emotional and instinctual drives, they don't always necessarily pair with rational thought and common sense, or take all sensible factors into consideration.
Well, I am an engineer / hobbyist with a strong drive to create all kinds of electrical/mechanical stuff (starting on an electric bicycle soon, yey !). For me this is a primeval drive which has been with me since I was born. Why be-little the importance to me of the things I create with my own mind / hands (like the aforementioned ferrari) for something which is a basic biological function of the female body ?

P.S. sorry to the OP, this thread should have been split long time ago
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  #69  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:25
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Well, I am an engineer / hobbyist with a strong drive to create all kinds of mechanical stuff (starting on an electric bicycle soon, yey !). For me this is a primeval drive which has been with me since I was born. Why be-little the importance to me of the things I create with my own mind / hands (like the aforementioned ferrari) for something which is a basic biological function of the female body?
Don't be daft, it's nothing like the same thing, what a silly comparison to make. In fact it hardly does any favours to the guys making sensible arguments in this thread.
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  #70  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:32
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Well, a friend of mine got his one night stand prego, since she told him she is on a pill. It does happen more than we think, of course. But, there are millions of reasons people might decide to keep their child and not for just nurturing her motherhood hormons. What do we know? If a man does not want a child and is with somebody for a short time to trust her, wear a jimmyhat (they do break, mind you)! We are not questioning OP's right to have a financial help form the dad of the child, nor how the child was conceived, and for what purpose. It's none of our business. There is a way for OP get help, she is completely entitled to it by law, and, living in the most expensive place to be a single parent, ignoring how actually difficult and painful it might be to have an incomplete family, to start with, I hope she goes and outsources, gets the help she and her child needs, without being a proud mama, etc. It surprises me that the dad is Swiss, he should know about the laws in his own country. Time for him to wake up.
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  #71  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:33
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Well I think terming it a "hobby" is triviliasing it somewhat unnecessarily... th urge to bear offspring in women is a poweful primeval drive that's been with us since the dawn of evolution, and as with all emotional and instinctual drives, they don't always necessarily pair with rational thought and common sense, or take all sensible factors into consideration.
There are a lot of powerful primeval drives that man (as a race) has gotten rid of through evolution.

And it's not like the planet is underpopulated or the survival of mankind (which is the primary reason for said "primeval drive") is at stake either.
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Old 20.10.2010, 10:34
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Well, I am an engineer / hobbyist with a strong drive to create all kinds of electrical/mechanical stuff (starting on an electric bicycle soon, yey !). For me this is a primeval drive which has been with me since I was born. Why be-little the importance to me of the things I create with my own mind / hands (like the aforementioned ferrari) for something which is a basic biological function of the female body ?

P.S. sorry to the OP, this thread should have been split long time ago
Dear oh dear.

This reminds me a little of the Chris Morris/Blue Jam sketch where a mother calls a plumber to fix a dead baby. I'll try and post it when I get home.
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  #73  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:37
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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There are a lot of powerful primeval drives that man (as a race) has gotten rid of through evolution.
What, more powerful urges than the drive to reproduce and propogate the species, arguably the single most powerful and important instinctual drive in existence common to all species of this world? Errr.... okayyyy.....
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  #74  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:38
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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So you're telling us every single time you had sex you were ready to have a baby?.
I would not claim anything like this, of course I wasn't ready every time. However, if I indeed, happened to have an unplanned baby, I would have taken care of it. This is the risk you take.

whatever you say, women do not have all those choices. Abortion is not an option for everybody - if a woman really feels that this is a murder, I cannot imagine that it could be demanded that she still goes through with it. And whereas a father who does not want to have anything to do with his child is maybe tut-tutted a bit by society, can you imagine if a mother did the same? Dropped the baby behind the fathers door and refused to have anything to do with it? I don't think the attutude would be limited to "oh she really should give them a little money too".
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  #75  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:45
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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So you're telling us every single time you had sex you were ready to have a baby? I call bullmerde on this one.
Here keep reading
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I would not claim anything like this, of course I wasn't ready every time. However, if I indeed, happened to have an unplanned baby, I would have taken care of it. This is the risk you take.

whatever you say, women do not have all those choices. Abortion is not an option for everybody - if a woman really feels that this is a murder, I cannot imagine that it could be demanded that she still goes through with it. And whereas a father who does not want to have anything to do with his child is maybe tut-tutted a bit by society, can you imagine if a mother did the same? Dropped the baby behind the fathers door and refused to have anything to do with it? I don't think the attutude would be limited to "oh she really should give them a little money too".
Here you go!


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I disagree. The woman wants to keep the baby to fulfill her own maternal instinct / her own childwish. So in effect the man is financing her 'hobby'
That is the lamest answer so far pro-free daddy....
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  #76  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:47
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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It's Nil, you have to have a pinch of salt ready for reading her dramatic arguments.
Lame really considering your level of intelligence that you can't come up with something better....
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  #77  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:48
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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What, more powerful urges than the drive to reproduce and propogate the species, arguably the single most powerful and important instinctual drive in existence common to all species of this world? Errr.... okayyyy.....
The powerful urge to show your alpha male canines and beat someone to death when someone touches your female?

The powerful urge of going on a rampage to the next village, impale all the men and steal all the women?

Come on, EVOLVE. I know you can do it. Blaming it on instinct is just a tad too easy.
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  #78  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:50
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Here keep reading

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However, if I indeed, happened to have an unplanned baby, I would have taken care of it. This is the risk you take


Here you go!
Armchair quarter-backing. Easy to say when it hasn't happened. Would you have taken care of said unplanned baby at say age 16?
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  #79  
Old 20.10.2010, 10:52
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

I sometimes wonder how many sites are an as easy target for trolls as the EF.

Seriously: Even the poorest countries I have visited have some form of family law. Where could the OP be from to not expect a father to have the legal obligation to pay for his children? And how could the OP get along through the entire pregnancy, buying all the stuff for the baby... and ask weather or not a father has to pay some of the costs AFTER the child is born? This post is so obviously fake and a rather bad attempt at trolling.. and you are all jumping at it...
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Old 20.10.2010, 10:53
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Lame really considering your level of intelligence that you can't come up with something better....
Come on Nil, you can do better than calling things 'lame' or 'bla bla bla' (from the Wilder thread). Refute with arguments !
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