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  #141  
Old 20.10.2010, 16:13
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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i only sleep with nice girls without diseases

(ok, you can groan)


I though this thread had veered off topic about sex, pregnancy and STDs. What's that got to do with sleeping?

Or are you thinking of this
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  #142  
Old 20.10.2010, 16:33
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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I don't see much weight behind using condoms for whatever benefit you might get from STD prevention.

You can take antibiotics to cure almost all but two, HIV and herpes. And they don't offer much protection against herpes, and the prevalence of HIV is miniscule in switzerland, combined with the fact that the chance of catching it through heterosexual intercourse is estimated at 1 in 10,000 or even less.
Apart from the AIDS stats being wrong (see other posts), there's actually quite a problem with antibiotic resistance in stds as well.
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  #143  
Old 20.10.2010, 16:42
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

And the biggest killer of all, for women, is cervical cancer.
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  #144  
Old 20.10.2010, 16:47
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Hi There,

I am looking for some advice on a father not wanting to take responsibility for his child. The story goes that i knew the father of my child for a short while and found out I was pregnant, he said he did not want anything to do with it. I am now struck with all the bills such as child care to take care of. All i want from him is his assistance in paying for this. He is a Swiss National and I don't know my rights and how to go about this...

Could anyone out there help...?
Hi, I don't know if anyone has suggested this or not because I haven't read all the post. You "can" get money from him. I knew someone in an exact situation. I forget the name of the place you have to go to, but if you call social in your canton they can direct you. What they will do is "pay you the amount of money agreed upon" and then collect it from him. He will have to sign something, but after they finish with him, he will want to sign it! If he says maybe the baby isn't his then he will have to pay for a DNA test. Since he would be the one contesting that the baby is not his. Also it will depend on your income, but it is worth it to check it out. Good Luck...
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  #145  
Old 20.10.2010, 16:59
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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.. If he says maybe the baby isn't his then he will have to pay for a DNA test. Since he would be the one contesting that the baby is not his. Also it will depend on your income, but it is worth it to check it out. Good Luck...

wow--this is fairly scary. Puts women in quite the spot of control. Better start putting some money aside for DNA tests, if any new mother can come up to me and say I'm their baby's daddy and I have to prove otherwise. Really backwards IMO
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  #146  
Old 20.10.2010, 17:25
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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wow--this is fairly scary. Puts women in quite the spot of control. Better start putting some money aside for DNA tests, if any new mother can come up to me and say I'm their baby's daddy and I have to prove otherwise. Really backwards IMO
Erm, one of my male friends had a one nighter and she got preggy. Turned out there were 3 possible fathers.... So they did a DNA. I think the deal was something like if he would turn out to be the father he would pay the DNA bill, if not she'd had to pay it. And he turned out to be the father, lucky bastard him

Seriously, someone above wrote that a male friend of her didn't use condom on a one nighter because she said she was on the pill... erhm, what is WRONG with people not using condom on a one night stand? AIDS anyone?

So yes, there are bad women out there, and there are bad men out there as well. And once again we have 100 page thread to debate which sex is the bad guy. Gosh, you just gotta love EF
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  #147  
Old 20.10.2010, 17:27
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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wow--this is fairly scary. Puts women in quite the spot of control. Better start putting some money aside for DNA tests, if any new mother can come up to me and say I'm their baby's daddy and I have to prove otherwise. Really backwards IMO
Better still, if the woman is unsure who the dad is, keep pressing charges against all suspects one by one until the real "culprit" is caught Costless for her.

Scary indeed...

Edit: OK, Begga's post wasn't there when I posted.
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  #148  
Old 20.10.2010, 17:46
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Guys, this is the only way you are gonna keep out of trouble, I will gladly lend mine to anyone even thinking of going out on the prowl this weekend



And just like your apartment keys, you should always keep a spare at a friends house or the office.

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  #149  
Old 20.10.2010, 17:51
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

No need, there will be more options soon:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/he...tive-pill.html
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  #150  
Old 20.10.2010, 18:02
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Erm, one of my male friends had a one nighter and she got preggy. Turned out there were 3 possible fathers.... So they did a DNA. I think the deal was something like if he would turn out to be the father he would pay the DNA bill, if not she'd had to pay it. And he turned out to be the father, lucky bastard him .......

I agree, that if the two adults involved make a deal, it's all good. I would just see issue that one party would have burden the cost to prove themself innocent of the claims.
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  #151  
Old 20.10.2010, 18:09
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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wow--this is fairly scary. Puts women in quite the spot of control. Better start putting some money aside for DNA tests, if any new mother can come up to me and say I'm their baby's daddy and I have to prove otherwise. Really backwards IMO
Unfortunately (or fortunately) thats the way it is...You only have to prove it if you want to "deny" the baby is yours. Then the burden of proof is on the alleged father...well in CH anyways.
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  #152  
Old 20.10.2010, 18:31
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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If he says maybe the baby isn't his then he will have to pay for a DNA test.
I would still guess that if the baby turns out not to be his, she would have to pay, no?
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  #153  
Old 20.10.2010, 18:35
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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I would still guess that if the baby turns out not to be his, she would have to pay, no?
Im not convinced I believe that it is the male that would pay. If it is then its another example of discrimination towards the male in these situations but I am not convinced - it is not a logical way of doing it.
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  #154  
Old 20.10.2010, 18:37
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Father Not wanting responsibility

I don't agree at all that the male should just have to "live" with whatever decision the female made regarding having a baby or not...I am female, and I don't believe the "burden of pregnancy" gives us the right to choose alone regardless of what the other party thinks! His input was needed for the pregnancy, so since both female and male "inputs" are equally important, he has equal right to decide.

Besides, the argument that the "burden of pregnancy" gives us the right to choose becomes invalid if the female chooses to continue the pregnancy - you can't define something as a burden if you actively CHOOSE it!

And the argument that every time a person has sex, he/she must be prepared for a child is reminiscent of high school teachers and church groups, trying desperately to preach a valid point - but are so disconnected from reality that they do more damage that good. Clearly, there's a reason contraceptives were, and are made.
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  #155  
Old 20.10.2010, 18:37
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

In the UK they just got and scream at each other on the jeremy Kyle show- then get the test for free. Then they put a few commercial breaks in between test and results - it's very entertaining.

I'm sure the little ones will love looking at the vids when they grow up.
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  #156  
Old 20.10.2010, 18:47
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Besides, the argument that the "burden of pregnancy" gives us the right to choose becomes invalid if the female chooses to continue the pregnancy - you can't define something as a burden if you actively CHOOSE it!
.
for many women there is no choice once you are already pregnant. I'm pro-choice myself, but I can understand that many people feel differently - I don't think we can convince them otherwise by "Oh don't be silly, it's not a baby yet anyway"
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  #157  
Old 20.10.2010, 18:49
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

FFS, DNA tests can't be that expensive, at least not as expensive as child support for the next 18 years. If I was a a guy and had a one night stand with a chick that got pregnant I would for sure ask for DNA test before it would go any further.

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I don't agree at all that the male should just have to "live" with whatever decision the female made regarding having a baby or not...
Do you have any friends that have done abortion? I have three and two of them are still with doubts that they made the right decision even though it is more than a decade ago.
I use birth control because I don't think I'm ready to be a mother and I'm not in a steady relationship with someone that could be the father of my children. If my birth control would fail however, I have to admit that I would have some difficulties to go to an abortion. Abortion must be a very tough decision for any woman, and I am not sure I could go through it myself.

WHY do men think it is so easy option for us to go to an abortion???

I would have to think about that option very-very carefully and for sure I would have to be 100% sure about it myself. I would for sure not have anyone force me into abortion! There, I said!
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  #158  
Old 20.10.2010, 18:56
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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In the UK they just got and scream at each other on the jeremy Kyle show- then get the test for free. Then they put a few commercial breaks in between test and results - it's very entertaining.

I'm sure the little ones will love looking at the vids when they grow up.
Jeremy Kyle Show


I have to laugh at that big bit of kit. She deserves a medal for finding two guys that would be capable of being able to have sex with her; let alone in one day.
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  #159  
Old 20.10.2010, 19:09
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

I truly believe children deserve better.

As for abortion - the best way to avoid the agonizing hurt - is to use contraception and not rely on 'the other one' be it wo/man. I totally agree with a woman's right to choose, but abortion should only be for very unfortunate and rare failures in contraception, medical reasons or in case of rape.
I know some women who seem to use abortion as a form of contraception, again and again, and to me that is twisted and wrong.

Last edited by Odile; 20.10.2010 at 19:14. Reason: gr error
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  #160  
Old 21.10.2010, 08:44
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Do you know what, I had the same views regarding abortion up until the day I found out I was pregnant.

I have always been careful and had a long held belief that if I was unlucky enough to fall pregnant unexpectedly then wild dogs couldn't stop me running straight to the abortion clinic.

Then after being in a relationship for 6 months (one that was rapidly going down the toilet), I found out that I was pregnant . I was only 6 weeks gone but as soon as I saw that little peanut on the screen there was just no way I could stomach getting rid of it. I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason and knowing I was definitely going to end up a single mother in a foreign country still didn't sway my thoughts.

I never believed I would be one of "those" women but I am and now I am very proud to be.
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