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Old 19.10.2010, 20:47
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Father Not wanting responsibility

Hi There,

I am looking for some advice on a father not wanting to take responsibility for his child. The story goes that i knew the father of my child for a short while and found out I was pregnant, he said he did not want anything to do with it. I am now struck with all the bills such as child care to take care of. All i want from him is his assistance in paying for this. He is a Swiss National and I don't know my rights and how to go about this...

Could anyone out there help...?
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Old 19.10.2010, 20:49
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Talk to social services and let them write a formal letter. That'll probably scare the **** out of him. If he remains obstinate get a lawyer.
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Old 19.10.2010, 20:53
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Or talk to him
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Old 19.10.2010, 20:57
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Thank you for you replies.. I have tried to talk to him. He says that he did not want the baby in the first place so it is my responsibility.
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Old 19.10.2010, 20:59
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Thank you for you replies.. I have tried to talk to him. He says that he did not want the baby in the first place so it is my responsibility.
That doesn't come into it. If it's his child, he has to bear his part of the responsibility. That's the law.
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Old 19.10.2010, 21:03
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Thank you for you replies.. I have tried to talk to him. He says that he did not want the baby in the first place so it is my responsibility.
Arrrgh! Are you any good with a knife? A sharp one, ahh no! Make that a blunt one.
Jeeez males like that (not man definitely not man, real ones do not say things like that) make my spines stick out.
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Old 19.10.2010, 21:05
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Thank you for you replies.. I have tried to talk to him. He says that he did not want the baby in the first place so it is my responsibility.
Good. At least you know where you stand and you don't have to waste time with direct communication or pleasantries. Go directly to a lawyer and sue the crap out of him.
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Old 19.10.2010, 21:24
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

If he did not want to be a father why did he not wait for it ....................

famous words from Jeremy Kyle PUT SOMETHING ON THE END OF IT
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Old 19.10.2010, 21:33
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Get a lawyer, you should be able to string him up like a kipper financially. That'll teach the thoughtless pig. Make sure he doesn't get any access to the child as well - even if he does contribute to your financial wellness.

Honestly, males today, they think they can get anyone up the stick and then when they are later to be informed they have a new baby they say they don't want it. Unbelievable.
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Old 19.10.2010, 21:45
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Hi Lula,
Children are very expensive as you well know. I wish you
well with everything.

If you need an attorney in Geneva, I can recommend a good
one. She speaks French and English. PM me if interested.

Grant
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Old 19.10.2010, 21:48
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Irresponsible, cowardly knob.

Is his name on the child's birth cert? Your case will be stronger if it is. Even if it isnt, go straight to a lawyer and commence proceedings for child support. Humour him by all means if he decides to play dirty and demands a paternity test. Your only job in the meantime, besides looking after your child, is to find a good lawyer who will kick his ass to Timbaktoo and back. Twice.

Stay strong girl and good luck.
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Old 19.10.2010, 21:53
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Another option for you would be to go to your local state office and speak to them about your situation. They can assign a person who will act on behalf of your child and proceed to get the father to pay maintenance. You will not pay for this service, however, your child will pay for costs incurred when he/she has finished studying and is working.
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Old 19.10.2010, 22:09
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Contact these people:

http://www.hospicegeneral.ch/notre-i...sadresser.html

http://www.ssiss.ch/en/the_swiss_fou...n_of_the_iss_0

These should be able to help you, if you need more assistance, you can pm me to walk you through what should be done.
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Old 19.10.2010, 22:16
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Or talk to him

I'm guessing she tried that, seeing as how she was able to give us information regarding his response when she reached out asking for help from us EF members.


Lula, I wish you the very best of luck moving forward with this issue..... I can only imagine what a hurtful matter this has been/is going to be for you, and I hope that you are able to get every single penny from the jerk that you and your baby deserve.

Last edited by stacey522; 19.10.2010 at 22:20. Reason: In my haste to post my annoyed response to one of the replies, I forgot to add my "goodluck" wishes to the OP
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Old 19.10.2010, 22:32
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

hi
Just wanted to add ANOTHER point of view

sure you want him to help financially, it is very expensive

however there is another way to look at this

If the man is so nasty, perhaps it is better to disconnect and then he wont

have contact with the baby and you will save yourself a lot of heartache

not to mention your child

I have a friend who had children through a sperm bank, she has a good job

and she is happy she does not have to deal with what a lot of divorced

moms have to deal with , yes, if the father is nasty, the child is better off

with ONE good caring parent than a dad who does not take responsibility

think of it, it is really sometimes worth money NOT to have the father involved

trust me on this

Think twice before you ask for money and then have to have this man in your

life and your child's life..
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Old 19.10.2010, 22:41
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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That doesn't come into it. If it's his child, he has to bear his part of the responsibility. That's the law.
That is indeed the law.

We do not know the circumstances or the other half's story so we should not be criticising the man immediately.
They are were both responsible for contraception and I would think the female (carrying the child and ultimatly left with the baby) would be even more concerned.
We don't know whether this was an accident or though unlikely a basting (had a colleague that went through this).

The male actually gets the bad deal in sexual relationships/flings because it is the woman that decides all the way.

1) The woman can decide whether she is going to have sex
2) The woman can decide whether she is going to use contraceptive
3) The woman if she becomes pregnant can decide whether she will terminate the pregnancy or not
4) The woman can decide whether she wants to make a claim for maintenance or not.
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Old 19.10.2010, 22:41
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

Starshine does have a valid point and it is worth considering if you can afford to.

I myself was in a similar situation, although I left my sons dad when I was still pregnant. The why's and wherefours aren't important. What is important is that my son grew up in a happy home where he knew he was loved and wanted. I worked full time to keep us and never had a penny from his father, nor wanted it. My son is a lovely child and I am very lucky. He's cheeky at times and by no means an absolute angel but think he ended up well grounded.

Now I have a lovely man who looks after and cares for both of us. He incidently has been fighting for years for proper contact with his own children. Countless court orders and battles over the years

Stay strong, follow your instincts but consider life lived your own way, it does have advantages.
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Old 19.10.2010, 22:46
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

That's why after getting help from the above links, she gets automatic custody and should ask these people to collect the payments http://www.ge.ch/scarpa/mission.asp (Probably the Hospic will ask her to do this too)

This way, she is totally protected and gets her rights and payments without having to deal with that guy, Swiss law is in the favor of the mother and child.

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hi
Just wanted to add ANOTHER point of view

sure you want him to help financially, it is very expensive

however there is another way to look at this

If the man is so nasty, perhaps it is better to disconnect and then he wont

have contact with the baby and you will save yourself a lot of heartache

not to mention your child

I have a friend who had children through a sperm bank, she has a good job

and she is happy she does not have to deal with what a lot of divorced

moms have to deal with , yes, if the father is nasty, the child is better off

with ONE good caring parent than a dad who does not take responsibility

think of it, it is really sometimes worth money NOT to have the father involved

trust me on this

Think twice before you ask for money and then have to have this man in your

life and your child's life..
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Old 19.10.2010, 22:59
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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1) The woman can decide whether she is going to have sex
2) The woman can decide whether she is going to use contraceptive
3) The woman if she becomes pregnant can decide whether she will terminate the pregnancy or not
4) The woman can decide whether she wants to make a claim for maintenance or not.
To Cashboy: Heard of condoms? Something the guy can use and prevent paternity.




To the OP: Best of luck and strength in this hard time.

Last edited by zymogen; 19.10.2010 at 23:23. Reason: clarification
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Old 19.10.2010, 23:03
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Re: Father Not wanting responsibility

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Heard of condoms? Something the guy can use and prevent paternity.

To the OP: Best of luck and strength in this hard time.
Great post in reply to cashboy's point no. 2

P.S: And that was my 500 post, Upgrade to "Forum Veteran"

Last edited by Mowvich; 19.10.2010 at 23:25. Reason: Change due to misunderstanding
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