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Old 29.10.2010, 22:32
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What do you miss most about your life before children

I miss being able to enjoy a meal. Really taste it and savour it without being interrupted.

I miss being able to socialise with other women.
I know a lot of mothers here in CH but with small children running about it's impossible to talk or connect properly. It's all mindless small talk.

It would be bliss if just for one day I could have an intelligent conversation about life, literature, art. Don't misunderstand me I'm not some highbrow snob, i'm common as muck but I'd love to meet someone who could teach me about things that I don't already know about. My H came home today and told me that his colleague has been talking to him about a certain period in history and a particular book and I was "and? and? what did he say????"...."oh nothing interesting just stuff". Christ I'd love to meet someone who could teach me something new.

I'd love to be able to go to the opera or wander around and art gallery alone, or be able to talk at legnth to another mother about life without interuption.

Yeah there is the internet (my quasi social life) but I have to fight with my other half to be on here (he wants to read sports pages). I can't even have a good debate/fight on a forum as my time on here is limited.

Argh ! my mind is melting. I'd give my eye teeth for some inspirational conversation.

Drunken badly punctuated rant over.

What do you miss?
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Old 29.10.2010, 22:38
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

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What do you miss?
Staying in bed after 6 am on a Sunday. Sod the literary dialogue, give me the underside of a duvet and a good view of the inside of my eyelids until midday at the weekend and I'll be a happy bunny.
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Old 29.10.2010, 22:41
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

Sleeping
Caring only about myself
Sleeping
Being able to take trips on whim
Sleeping
Time with hubby
Sleeping

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Old 29.10.2010, 22:41
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

For me I think one of the things I miss most is not being able to go out when I want to. My son is slightly older now so its not such an issue as it used to be. Back when he was a baby I was a single parent and that was very hard. I would only go out if I was able to take him, then of course I would leave early and couldn't drink.

So an example was earlier this week. Other half wants to go for a drink one evening. Am I joining him? he asks. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't, not on a school night. There is no way I could expect my 11 year old to put himself to bed at his bedtime. So I gave way and stayed home. When you have a family you have to try and please everyone else and you yourself get left behind. I'm not often bothered about going out, but it would be nice to be able to be spontaneous and just say 'bugger it, let's go out for a drink dear'.
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Old 29.10.2010, 22:43
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

I will avoid this thread......

6 weeks of freedom and counting
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Old 29.10.2010, 22:43
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

oh sleeeeeep, and sleepy Sunday morning sex. Lush
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Old 29.10.2010, 22:44
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

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I will avoid this thread......

6 weeks of freedom and counting

Whoah! Whoa! How did you manage that? Tell me. I must know
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Old 29.10.2010, 22:48
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

I missed all of those things, and many more - I lived in the UK and it seemed at the time I'd go mad. No family support was hard too. The endless round of coffee mornings or Tupperware parties (sorry, I know some of you are fans) with nothing but baby talk + a bit of fashion - no culture, no books- when I asked about education, politics (small p) or anything else, the only reply I got was 'Oh David thinks that ...' or 'Oh Martin believes this' and if I insisted and asked 'and what about YOU, what do YOU think?' - the inevitable reply was 'Me, I don't know. But David thinks...'. In the end, I insisted we moved away when that 'Stepford enclave' and went back to Uni when youngest started school, and never looked back. After 8 years as a full-time mum - I began to get my brain back into gear, and finally met people I could exchange ideas with - and LEARN about all sorts. Never looked back. Now, a long time hence - I sometimes laugh about it- and that that period in my life did not last too long - and wish sometimes I had not been so impatient and enjoyed it more, somehow. I really feel for you, and remember it only too clearly. But you DO need to find ways to express your frustration and even anger - and find ways to have a bit of time for yourself, to do a course, or meet others. Big hugs xxxx Odile
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Old 29.10.2010, 22:49
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

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I will avoid this thread......

6 weeks of freedom and counting
What are you doing in then?? Go out, drink orange juice till you feel queasy then sleep it off till midday tomorrow. Go out shopping in the afternoon with a small handbag containing nothing but a purse, set of keys and a phone and spontaneously decide to stay out a bit longer than you intended, safe in the knowledge that you don't have a handbagful of lego, action heroes and bum wipes with someone choosing the most inopportune moment of the trip to announce "I need a poo."
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Old 29.10.2010, 22:49
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

sleeping, going out at night, clubbing, getting pissed and being able to stay in bed with a massive hangover.. but that also because we live in Europe now..in china I could at least go out more and enjoy lots of Spa time and massages..

Unlike my friends and even though the helper I had in CHina, I've never had the chance to leave my kids a whole weekend. I don't know what it's like to send the kids to their grand parents...
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Old 29.10.2010, 22:51
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

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sleeping, going out at night, clubbing, getting pissed and being able to stay in bed with a massive hangover.. but that also because we live in Europe now..in china I could at least go out more and enjoy lots of Spa time and massages..

Unlike my friends and even though the helper I had in CHina, I've never had the chance to leave my kids a whole weekend. I don't know what it's like to send the kids to their grand parents...
Oh God I'd love a helper..or a grandparent
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Old 29.10.2010, 22:55
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

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What are you doing in then?? Go out, drink orange juice till you feel queasy then sleep it off till midday tomorrow. Go out shopping in the afternoon with a small handbag containing nothing but a purse, set of keys and a phone and spontaneously decide to stay out a bit longer than you intended, safe in the knowledge that you don't have a handbagful of lego, action heroes and bum wipes with someone choosing the most inopportune moment of the trip to announce "I need a poo."
I am dog tired Had tickets for comedy tonight with the intention of forcing myself to go because soon I wont be able to, just too damned tired
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Old 29.10.2010, 23:01
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I am dog tired Had tickets for comedy tonight with the intention of forcing myself to go because soon I wont be able to, just too damned tired
Being stuck at home unable to go out due to wee offspring means you can pop in and have a quick look at them when they're sleeping. Cutest thing in the world and better than a boogie on a dance-floor any day.

It's all good, you'll see - best of luck by the way...
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Old 29.10.2010, 23:01
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

In my case, the bigger question would be more what I miss the most about my life as a single independant working woman! Although I would not swap the family life I have now, it 's not so much the things I miss doing "because" of the kids, but what I was able to do when I could travel wherever I wanted, live wherever I wanted, go out whenever I wanted , spend and earn my own money as I wanted. But again, I would not change any of the life I have now. I had as life before, and I have a life now..now it's up to us to make sure that our life next will be true to ourselves and without regrets!
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Old 29.10.2010, 23:08
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

I miss always looking well groomed and neat. My lovely husband has poor eyesight, so lucky me, or else the poor guy would get a freakin shock if he saw what I really look like!
I miss just having time to do what I want to and take as long as I want to doing it.
I miss being spontaneous.
I miss my pre-kids body.
Also really connecting with female friends.
Sleeping late.
Not cooking if I don't want to.

Of course like all of you I would not swap having kids for the world. What I really like is how prior to having children I thought I was good at multi-tasking whereas now, I think I totally rule at it
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Old 29.10.2010, 23:11
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

One thing I still don't do is cooking... having kids have not changed that in me I'm afraid. and I still don't want to own a house.. I hate having to take care of a house or worse the gardening.....

I miss grocery shopping stress free!
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Old 29.10.2010, 23:12
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

I'm seriously consdering telling my other half that I need to fly back to the UK for urgent dental treatment so he will be in charge of the kids for 48hrs.

What would really be happening is that I would book myself into a hotel in Amsterdam where I would be free to drink and smoke myself into oblivion.
There will be much naked dancing and consumption of fine foods (all alone as I don't want any fker bothering me).Then I will pass out with a smile on my face.

This sort of happiness cannot be obtained on a family friendly holiday to Provence.
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Old 29.10.2010, 23:15
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

my kids are 5 and 8 now. they entertain themselves on weekend mornings, they dress themselves etc. i am still not able to go out (would love to go to the unofficial Viadukt thursday drink) cause hubbie is away too much, but lots of my pre-kids possibilities return. So to all mums with kids in the diaper age: things get better. seriously!
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Old 29.10.2010, 23:15
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

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I will avoid this thread......

6 weeks of freedom and counting
Heehee
We complain about this junk because we can, but trust me, there is absolutely nothing in this world that beats the overwhelming feeling you get when you look at your little baby. Pure love defined.

Last edited by Meisie; 29.10.2010 at 23:32.
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Old 29.10.2010, 23:29
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Re: What do you miss most about your life before children

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. My children were the best thing that ever happened to me.
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