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  #241  
Old 05.09.2011, 09:10
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Re: Cute things kids say

I got grumbled at because I took my son (4) to have his hair cut at a different hairdressers to his usual.

Me: What's wrong? Your hair looks just as cool as when it's cut at the other place.
Son: The new lady didn't have big boobies to rest my head.

Daddy would be proud...
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  #242  
Old 05.09.2011, 13:18
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Re: Cute things kids say

To the caller on the telephone - "My mom can't talk right now, she is on the pot."
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Old 05.09.2011, 18:17
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Re: Cute things kids say

"Mummy....mummy...have you ever kissed a woman?"
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And....?
Mrs OM managed to fob him off with "I've only kissed women on the cheek".

That was easier than explaining she's never had her tonsils slobbered over by another woman. (Yes, of course, that's a married man's fantasy that I'm naturally still working on...in my dreams)
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  #244  
Old 06.09.2011, 12:57
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Re: Cute things kids say

My youngest started Kindergarten recently & he seemed really anxious about going. I finally got it our of him that he was worried about not being able to do his homework since he can't write yet!
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  #245  
Old 14.09.2011, 20:13
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Re: Cute things kids say

About a month ago my husband showed our 3 year old our cars engine. She especially loved it when I revved the car
Anyway, today we drove past a gorgeous Shelby GTS. I told her to look. She looked and replied: "I want to look at the engine!"
Engineer in training Oder?
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  #246  
Old 14.09.2011, 20:20
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Re: Cute things kids say

Playing game after game after game after game after game of "shoe shop" with my 3-year-old cousin (which involves her taking all of my lovely shoes, lining them up, describing in extreme detail a pair she hypothetically is looking for which just so happens to describe a pair in the line, trying them on and paying for them)... After a while, I decided to make it educational and make her do some maths (i.e. "Those are £15 please. Oh, you've given me £20, how much change do I owe you?"). After doing this about 7 times:

Me: Those are £17 please. You've given me £20, how much do I owe you?
Her: Oh, I'll just pay by card.
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  #247  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:58
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Re: Cute things kids say

A friend came to visit a couple of weeks ago. Before she arrived, my son, who had never met her, started asking about her (fortunately, he's largely moved on from "Why?" to more complex questions):

Him: "Does she have children?"
Me: "No, darling, but I'm sure she would like to."
Him: "Why?" (Oh. So, not quite over that stage yet.)
Me: "Well, I don't know ... I suppose she'll have children when she's ready. She loves children! Do you think she will like you?"
Him: "Yes, because I'm a children (sic)!"
Me: "Right. And do you think you will like her?"
Him (adopting comical thinking pose, finger pressed to lips): "Hmmm. Is she like a cow?"
Me: "??!?!"

How, exactly, are the brains of three-year-olds powered?!
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  #248  
Old 30.09.2011, 12:10
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Re: Cute things kids say

A conversation between the same precocious student of mine mentioned in one of my earlier posts in this thread:

Him: Mrs X, are you ill?
Me: What makes you say that? I am very well.
Him: cos your face is peeling.
Me: Ahhh, no I am not ill. I am just sun burnt. I just got back from a holiday - that is why we didnt have lessons last week. Remember?
Him: Ah yes. But I read about a disease....something to do with leopards can make your toes fall off.
Me: Are you referring to leprosy? It does but I dont have it.
Him: Well it starts with the face. Trust me!
Me: (you little s***t!) Ok, I will go to a doctor. Lets continue please...

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  #249  
Old 30.09.2011, 12:19
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Re: Cute things kids say

"mama, take your anabolocks, it's time!"
"yes, baby, the antibiotics are important"
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  #250  
Old 30.09.2011, 12:28
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Re: Cute things kids say

My 6 year old nephew: "why did God wait until he made the world to make the world, but didn't make the world before that?"

He's not my kid so I can't tell him there's no God so m response was a lame "erm, good question, why do you think?"
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  #251  
Old 30.09.2011, 12:34
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Re: Cute things kids say

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My 6 year old nephew: "why did God wait until he made the world to make the world, but didn't make the world before that?"
Do you think he's becoming agnostic...?
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  #252  
Old 30.09.2011, 12:40
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Re: Cute things kids say

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Do you think he's becoming agnostic...?
He is an asker of troublesome questions. But so was I. Famously, at 4 I asked "what's at the end of space?". My poor parents.
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  #253  
Old 30.09.2011, 12:48
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Re: Cute things kids say

Even my 11 year olds can sometimes make me chuckle.

Last weekend for example when he was given a key ring at the fair.


Him : Mmm. I think it's a consultation prize.
Me: ??????
Him : you know one of things you get when you don't win anything (he resorts to French) Un prix de consolation.
Me : Ah. You mean a consolation prize.

And a few years ago now after his first religion class at school.

Mummy do you know that Jesus is all around us all the time? I don't know how he does it though because he's dead!

He starts most of his sentences these days with 'do you know that ......?'

An improvement on Why? I suppose!
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  #254  
Old 30.09.2011, 13:23
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Re: Cute things kids say

My 5 month old baby started nursery 2 weeks ago. Yesterday, my son (5) told me: "They're really not very efficient there, she's been going there for 2 weeks and they still haven't taught her to walk!"
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  #255  
Old 30.09.2011, 13:50
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Re: Cute things kids say

My five year old asked me today if I have to put the loo seat up as my bum is so big!!
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  #256  
Old 30.09.2011, 14:13
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Re: Cute things kids say

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... Famously, at 4 I asked "what's at the end of space?". My poor parents.
I don't mean to burst your bubble, but...
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  #257  
Old 30.09.2011, 14:35
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Re: Cute things kids say

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My five year old asked me today if I have to put the loo seat up as my bum is so big!!
I decided to apply some make-up today (black eyliner with a touch of white eyeshadow). Apparently it makes me look like a ghost, dixit my son...
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  #258  
Old 30.09.2011, 15:12
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Re: Cute things kids say

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I decided to apply some make-up today (black eyliner with a touch of white eyeshadow). Apparently it makes me look like a ghost, dixit my son...
That attitude lasts till adulthood, some say...

"Ok, guys, brainstorming, gimme as many things you can think of that you can sit on, readysteadyGO..". "couch, sofa, bench, chair, desk, train, car, horse, toilet, girl..."
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  #259  
Old 30.09.2011, 17:26
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Re: Cute things kids say

Calling my 7 yr old son for breakfast this morning and the loud reply I got echoing through the house was:

"What? Oh no, not again!"

Then later in the day got my 3 year old daughter to try on her new H&M snow trousers and gloves to see if they fit okay.. the first thing she did was lie down on the floor and pretend to make snow angels, she then quickly sat up, burst into tears and said in between sobs "Want to go get Winter"

tis Friday and I've tired kids
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Old 30.09.2011, 20:22
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Re: Cute things kids say

What a great thread!

Me: Sweetie, how would you like to live in England near Grandma?
My 6-year old son: No.
Me: What?
Son: No. England is not a neutral country. They make wars.
Me: Is this a problem?
Son: Yes. Wars kill people. We have to live in a neutral country.

(Same son, not long afterwards: "If you do that again, I'm going to shoot you." )
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