A popular theme.

8-year old

"Look Daddy, you've got to take me to the Basel (vs Manchester United) game, because you can't speak German. I can translate for you"

Cheeky boy!

As a teenager, I worked at a movie theater. One of my coworkers at the time had a remote-controlled fart machine, which he hid in the ticket podium as he was tearing tickets when the guests entered. He would press the button in his pocket, and the machine would let one out...

He did this as a mother and daughter (4-5 years old) were coming through. The girl whipped around, astonished, "Mommy, he tooted!"
The mother replied, "Yes, dear, but please be quiet. We don't want to embarrass him."
The little girl, at the top of her lungs, "But, HE DIDN'T SAY 'EXCUSE ME!'"

It was hilarious!

My son (nearly four ... as if you didn't already know) has worked out that "five minutes" means "extra time (to play, read, stay in the bath, whatever)". So now, whenever I want him to do something other than what he's doing, his response is always "five minutes more, Daddy".

So I'm watching the Australia vs South Africa quarter final of the Rugby World Cup. He's not really into it and he'd rather watch a kids' DVD. As the game enters the final, nerve-racking minutes, with Australia leading by a very fragile two-point margin, his calls for a DVD are getting more and more insistent.

Me: "The game is almost finished, darling -- Australia will win if they can keep the ball! There are just two minutes left!"

Him: "But I don't want two minutes! I never, ever want two minutes! I want FIVE minutes!"

Me: "Nooooo! Don't let the ref hear you!"

2yr old daughter running around with her backpack on....

Her: mummy! Mummy! Bugger off!
Me:
Her: look Mummy, bugger off *taking bag off*

What a smarty kid. So cute!

My son during breakfast this week, looking out the window, he noticed the sky was darker than what it has been in recent weeks..

He then said:

"Well, it's normal you know Mama because Halloween is coming soon and the Sky needs to be gloomier, it's what happens"

Don't you just love kids' reasoning

Taking my almost 2yr old jogging with me(her in the stroller), I packed a little bag with snacks for her. I showed it to her told her its her "doggie bag". She took it, started digging into the bag and took everything out. I asked what she was doing, she said "I´m getting the doggie out, this bag is too little".

When eating tea tonight my youngest announces that Pizza is the most yummy food, way better than animals or snails!

I love over-hearing little ones conversations:

Mr 5: "why is it called a sleep-over? why isn't just a "sleep"?
Mr 4: "I don't know"
Mr 5: "and what is 'sleep-over' in german anyway?
Mr 4: "I think it is the same, you just say "sleep-over" for german too"
Mr 5: "no I don't think that is right"
Mr 4: "yes, all the words are the same, like: fish and fisch, house and haus. see you just say it funny and then it is german"


.....not expecting great things from this crew, linguistically speaking.

Our 5 year old had a special weekend

Watching some wedding on TV

"Daddy, why are they getting married?"
"Errm...because they love each other"
"No they don't. They're just throwing flowers everywhere and making a mess"

Oh dear, it's Biology time

"Daddy, why have I got a hole in my bottom?"
"Errm, it's so the poo can come out"
"But why is it in my bottom?"
"Errm, where else could it be?"
"In my foot!"

I just laughed!

And sex-education

"Daddy, what's kissing?"
"Ask your mother, I've answered lots of your questions today, it's her turn"

I believe in sharing the upbringing of our kids.

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Hüüt bin I Güet

My son is 6: I'm hungry. I want something to eat.
Me: Dinner is cooking.
My son: But I am hungry now!
Me: Then you can wait and eat your dinner with relish.
My son: I don't like relish.

A young child on the bus today kept on pointing at me and saying "China, China!"

The child's mom was not impressed :P I was a bit shocked at first, but when I realized the mom and the kid has blond hair and blue eyes, I realized I was just as ignorant :P

Trying to answer some questions from "Einstein" aged 5 about what will happen when "the sun goes out":

Me: "...don't worry, it's in 50 million years time, hopefully Humans will have found another planet to live on by then."

Boy: "Will they go by rocket?"

Me: "I guess so, maybe they can go faster than light by then...the speed of light is 186000 miles per second you know"

Boy: "Is that faster than an ambulance on the motorway?"

I had to laugh!!

In the stalls on a service station this morning and I hear a father and his daughter enter the bathroom. Father lets one rip to which the kid replies "Papi, was isch dere chomische Grusch xi?" (Daddy, what was that funny noise?).

The interrogation continued, I had to hide until they had left, I couldn't have looked either of them in the face....

8-year old has picked up a new word:

Prancing around starkers before his evening shower waving a towel around:

"Daddy, am I naked or am I sexy?"

"Errm...ask Mummy, she knows what a sexy man is"

They ask.
I answer.

"Wow, that's awesome" said very very slowly, by a 5yr old, staring in the mirror.. I think I need to curb my verbal ticks at home.

My son is getting very excited about his birthday and is telling all and sundry about it. Just overheard when someone asked how old he is:

"I'm 3, but I'll be 4 on (sic) November, then I'll be 5, and then I'll be taller than Daddy!"

Life is so simple for some.

.....and in the blink of an eye and heartbeat he will be taller.
Then one day you'll be walking along with him chatting away and a pretty girl will cross you paths, he'll smile and whisper sotto voce: niiiiiice
....and you'll wonder where is the little kiddo with the cute haircut and big grin.
And really you'll think: I don't remember getting older, when did they ?
you really really will
But it will be ok, for willingly, for naturally, you'll agree to take a backseat and become a spectator of new hopes and dreams.
Kids really are like kites. You work like nuts to get 'em off the ground and fly, when they finally do fly, the string escapes from your hands and you can only watch as they take to the skies. It's always too soon and it's always in the blink of an eye.

__________________
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"Il mondo è fatto a scale, chi le scende e chi le sale"

@Sky, I want to thank and groan you at the same time, as it is so true but at the same time so terribly sad and depressing...

Time really is flying, and they're growing so fast... A few weeks ago I had a tiny helpless baby in my arms, and she's now crawling away to go discover the world...

Well, my Dad currently has four teenage grandchildren ... one of whom is almost out the other end! Two more will become teenagers in the next 12 months, then another two in the following 12 months ... the last two aren't there for a bit longer.