Last night, Halloween.

Supper table dressed up with spooky candles and spiders' webs.

My wife put on some 'scary music'. First up was Thriller.

"Who's singing this?" asked our son.

"Michael Jackson." replied my wife, as the shrill vocals filled the room.

"Ist Michael Jackson eine Frau?" asked our son.

1 Cute, 1 left me pondering...

Teaching the 5-year old boy "I want to be a Formula 1 Driver" about cars:

"...yes...and also inside is the radiator - do you know what it does?"
Helpful voice: "It plays music?"
Laughing: "No, that's the radio!"

8-year watching Arsenal vs. Marseilles:

"Marseille players are all brown. Apart from one, he's the same as me. Look (pointing to his skin)"


I have Irish and European roots, but Mrs OM is mixed-race (apologies if that's a politically incorrect term). Our 8-year old is quite dark, but he clearly thinks he is white. Interesting...

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Hüüt bin I Güet

Our 5 year old son proudly told me that Harry Potter was in Star Wars.

8-year old after Football Training:

"I played really well, I think I was Man of the Man"

"Yes you did play well, but we call it Man of the Match son"...

My 2 years (not yet but soon) old son did not want to drink a milk before sleeping, so I asked him:
Do you want to be a big like your father and to run like an tiger....?
NOooo!, he said.

My 5 years old son looking at his 6 months old sister:

"Mommy look! She's scratching herself! She's becoming a real human being!"

I offered to help one of my senior attorney's as he is relocating back to the US with some stuff he needed help getting disposed of. It so happens that his apartment is above my daughter's daycare, so when we finished and I said I was off to get mini mimi, he asked if he could meet her. "sure" I say.

We go into daycare and the mini one starts stroking his face and beaming at him. She then announces " hello daddy"!

Well the daycare assistants were a bit taken aback (having met her real father) and I was the colour of a tomato

I made my excuses and hot-footed it out of there.

Later, when the other half gets in from work, mini me announces "mummy where's *insert name* gone?"

Me: darling, that was at daycare, you make it sound like he was here!!!"

Talk about starting rumours!

Thankfully the other half trusts me

Pouah! The art of how to get into trouble from a toddler! Awesome

It's the birthday of our dog today. We were in the car, discussing possible presents for her, when my son suggested a human bone...

Well if you think toddlers only talking gibberish, think again

So these getting-dark-early evenings have allowed my two to see the moon more clearly and the Sun go down if we are coming home late.

One evening, this week, my 3 yr old daughter from the back seat of the car, hands slapped on side window, as much as her seat belt would allow, starts excitedly shouting over and over again:

"Look Mama! Mr. Moon up in the sky, need space rocket Mama, gotta get up there Mama.."

The very same evening my 7 yr son watching the sunlight disappear into a fading red corner of the sky said:

"The sun is drowning and I can see a star"

Wonderful! They have a very interesting insight into whether or not Greece should leave the Eurozone.

Better than those guys in Brussels, that's for sure.

Contrary to perceptions, our 5-year old doesn't watch BBC News all day, but still:

"Why in Salami they've got pirates?"
"SOMALIA son, SOMALIA!"

A typical "be grateful for what you have" conversation with the 8 year old:

"...yeah, and how would you get home from your football Tournament if I wasn't there?"
Instant reply:
"Taxi."

8-year old strolls up obviously plotting something:

"Daddy, I guess you've got free time in Manchester this weekend.."
"Errmm, actually I'm quite busy"
"Well, you can get me this" and flourishes a photo of a Star Wars Toy he has printed from the PC via Mr. Google (I wish Star Wars searches returned: "Invalid Input")

I'm flustered.
"I'll have to check with Mummy"

"Well, it's cheaper in Manchester, so I guess you can get me it"

Oh God, what I have created? A crafty lad who thinks I can buy anything and everything when I go back to England?

Errm...YES...

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Hüüt bin I Güet

Another shocker from my daughter in front of an English colleague....

Her: mummy, F**k off!
Me:
Her: muuuuummmeeeeee, f**k off

Eventually she starts coughing.

Her: see mummy, I've a cough

So as you all know, my son has been excited about his birthday for weeks. "I'm three, and I'll be four in November" he'd reply to anyone who enquired. That morphed into "I'm three, and I'll be four next month", and finally, "I'm three, and I'll be four tomorrow!"

Finally the big day arrived. At last, he wouldn't be four soon, any more.

"So, darling, how old are you today?" I asked, proudly.

"I'm four! And I'm nearly five!"

They grow up too quickly ...

I explained to my son that December 21st would be the shortest day of the year, and that after that the days would grow longer again.

He's expecting this famous date excitedly. Today he even asked me: "mommy, do you think it will be worth it going to school on that day, or I won't have time before the night?"

My 3 (and a half) year old girl told me on a train "that woman's bum is eating her trousers".

My teen spoke up : Mom ?
.. and then stopped, startled at the sound of his own voice, which was suddenly a tad deeper
He looked at me, slightly puzzled, like a little boy, like a tall young man
Mom....
Do you realize, I'm studying for my future ?

Yes sonny I do
And then I just sat quietly for a while, torn between a sigh of relief and a touch of nostalgia.. and very pleased that he thinks it's all his idea