Our six year old a couple of weeks ago to my wife whilst in the car:

"Mummy, what's that 'L' on the back of that car in front for?"

"Well, it means learner driver. The learner driver isn't allowed to drive a car unless a person who can drive is sitting next to them".

A few moments pondering...

"Mummy, when the car was invented, who taught the first person to drive?"

My son was 4-5 at the time when we were at my husbands office. The little guy needed to go potty so we went to the restroom which has been obviously used not long before. My son goes in ,takes a whiff of the air and declares in his loudest voice: hmmm, it smells like yummie in here, it smells like hot dogs!

The most amazing part is they don't watch TV!!!!

He was just 3, and was waking up from an afternoon snooze at grandma's house, the room was quiet and the curtains were slightly parted.. I tip-toed in to find him bouncing up and down in his crib giggling, gleefully grabbing at the air with both little hands:

Catch me the sun mommy, catch me the sun

Driving along, some sun rays were coming though the clouds - 3 year old said 'look Mummy, Jesus will be coming soon'. Where on earth she got that from, no idea- not from me that's for sure!

Driving in the car, 4 year old fidgeting with seat belt in the back....

Me: Stop messing about with your seatbelt if we had a crash and it wasn't done up you'd get hurt!
Him: How hurt, hurt like going to the hospital?
Me: Well, yes, could be, and if it was a really bad crash you could be killed!
Him: So, would I be OK then?
Me: Well no. Not if you were killed you wouldn't be.
Him: But Jesus was killed and he was OK afterwards.
Me: Yes, well, you're not Jesus are you - he was the son of God and you're just the son of me and Daddy. Sorry!
Him: Why can't I be the son of God too then?
[silence, given up!]

When he was 2 my son, when he was leaving the room always used to say "I be sick! I be sick!" this worried us quite a bit, until then penny finally dropped that when I left the room I often said to him "I'll just be a sec!"

My favourite recent one from my 3 year old was:
"I love you mummy...... and I love chocolate..... and Buzz Lightyear.... and I suppose Daddy - sometimes - when we play football."

My kids are flippin hilarious - which is a good thing as otherwise I'd have been driven to insanity long ago!

This isn't so much cute but quite funny and a sure fire way of getting some very strange looks from old ladies! When my son was younger he couldn't sound a 'k'. Sooooooo, Kiss became p*ss. Quite hilarious at the looks we used to get when he shouted out, 'Mummy I want a P*ss!.....of course I knew he wanted a kiss but the rest of the shoppers always looked very shocked.

My 4 year old niece- ‎"Mummy, are you going to put makeup on before you take me to pre-school?"
Her mum- "Yes"
Niece- "Oh, good, thank you."



And a few weeks earlier whilst getting a telling off for putting her pet cat in her Grandmothers china cabinet-
"Mummy, you have cranky eyebrows."

My sister tells me it's almost impossible to reprimand your child when you're laughing

Cute?
I'm not sure about this one:

7-year old the day after his first football match back in Manchester:
"Listen Daddy, just tell me the truth, what does f**k really mean?"

Oh dear.

I always smile when my son's explanation for being a little nervous is that his tummy feels excited

While at the Zoo recently he asked if this creature in the glass house was "a lizard or a comedian".

Keep them coming sweetheart.

The priest at Sunday school was telling the class about the miracle that Jesus had performed when he transformed water into wine when my brother, then around 4 said:

"But that ain't a big miracle. My Dad makes beer, and all he uses is water, hops and yeast"

Funny that, mine never asked what it meant, but at his 5th or 6th match in manchester at four years old, after listening to a tirade of insults and threats, he turned round and said 'You're not allowed to swear if you're not at the football match, are you? I love how he understood context immediately. Very underrated, in my opinion. Context, not my son.

My son has always been known for calling a spade a spade, to the point where we couldn't let him talk to anyone for quite a while - one example of his brutal honesty when out with his grandparents (they let him talk), sitting outside a shopping centre he was approached by a nice lady who asked him his name, he replied with 'hello you fat old lady'...needless to say his grandparents didn't let him speak to anyone again for some time.

My other memory of cute things from my kids is not a quote, but at an action. My son was nearly two at the time (not the one mentioned above), was woken from his nap to be told his father had an accident in the workshop and had cut his thumb off and was going to hospital in an ambulance - he came out to the ambulance (his father passed out on the ground with us all crowded around him) and tried to administer a Band Aid (sticking plaster) that he'd found in our bathroom. No, he didn't go on to work in a medical field - he's now a carpenter!

__________________
Purple monkey dishwasher

My daughter doesn't say much yet. She talks a lot ( hell lot) but not something to understand just yet. What she does that is pretty cute and funny is to smile to everyone next to us in the tram. She wave Bye bye to people out of the tram or in the tram and he sends kisses to old peoples.

Last week it was that very old man who was completely falling for her. She kept smilling, laughing and sending kisses to him. He was in love! He left the tram and stand in front of the closed door to wave Bye bye to her until we went off with the tram. She made his day, if not his week. That was so cute and charming.

She'll break lots of hearts...

The two-year-old I look after, on being asked whether she would like some salad yesterday (like many of this age she is not keen on fruit, veg and salad!):

I ha gar kei Ziit fur Salat

(I have absolutely no time for salad)

She's rather ahead on talking for her age and comes out with the cutest adult-sounding things!

Indeed, life is too short for lettuce. My almost-3-year-old is keen on "trees" (broccoli), however.

One Sunday morning my daughter crawled into bed with me for a cuddle (we are big on cuddles) and she said "Mummy do you know what is nicer than cuddling you, or Daddy", and i replied "what princess", and she said "nothing"

Sitting in a restaurant having some ice cream with my son who was 2 at the time. The owner of the restaurant is on a tour through the restaurant asking everyone if everything is okay. She's wearing a trouser suit and has a typical swiss women's haircut (short). As she aproaches our table my son points at her and shouts: "THAT'S A MAN!".

My son, 4 years old, is quite interested in the concept of death, and when it's going to happen.

Since he was asking me quite regularly if I was going to die today (freaky question, let me tell you), I told him that we die when we are very old.

At the park, he went to sit on a bench next to a very old lady. And immediately began to chat with her: "you are so old, why aren't you dead yet???" I was ready to swear I didn't know him...

We're trying to get our two year old to recognise and tell us when he's filled his nappy.

The question we ask is, "Have you done a poo-poo?"

Sometimes he says "yes!", sometimes he says "no!", the other day he furrowed his brow, thought about it a bit and said, "Maybe!"

Cheers

Jim