I've just been in the States for a week on a business trip and tonight was the first night since I got back to pick mini-mimi up from daycare.

Mini-mimi - "aaaaaww, where's daddy mummy?"
Me - "he's at work and now mummy is back I'm picking you up like normal"
Mini-mimi - "but I want daddy to pick me up not you!"
Me - "aw that makes mummy feel sad. You do love mummy right?"
Mini-mimi - "yeah, but daddy lets me have cupcakes and ice lollies aaaand I get to push the trolley in the shop"
Me - "really?, every day?"
Mini-mimi - "yep. And he doesn't have any hair and I think that's funny"

"Argh, I need a new phone".
"Yes, you do, mom. You need one, more smart".
"Bubs, smartphones aren't really so smart".

Little girl at playgroup....jabs finger as a punctuation tool into my chest.."YOU- EAT- COW-WHY?"

3yo boys and penis'

Still trying to get him interested in toilet training.

Following on from an earlier converstion assuring him his penis was big enough to go to the toilet he replies:
"maybe yes, maybe not, but I can make it big¨, look daddy!!
"your penis is not a toy"
"yes it is!!"

and
"make a wee in the shower"
after much concentration he replies
"it doesn't work, my penis is kaputt, it needs new batteries maybe?"

Oh, my son has this fascinating theory about having a bone in his willy, as sometimes it can get hard, so there must be a bone inside!

And he refuses to let the dog see him naked, in case she thinks his penis is a sausage and she tries to eat it!

My husband praising my son for excellent reasoning: "That's a very good answer. You're very bright! Do you have that from me?"

My son: "NO"

It's my birthday very soon.

Son: what would you like for your birthday mommy? A playmobile? Let's look at the catalogue together!

Thanks boy,but it's MY birthday not yours!

I don't know if this is allowed as this isn't my child, but I just had to share this video....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...ef=mostpopular

Daughter came home with a small little cut of nothing telling me how it hurt soooo bad.

Me: you are such a crane Queen sometimes.

Her: nooooooo, I am a princessa!!!

A real classic from my five-and-a-half-year-old this morning! There are identical twin brothers at his Kindergarten -- let's call them A and B. As I was kissing my son goodbye, one of the twins walked past.

"Morge, A!", I said, drawing funny looks from both "A" and my son.

"Daddy, that's B."

"Oh, sorry, they're so alike. How do you tell them apart?"

"They have different names!"

It's great to start the day with a big smile on my face. I'm still chuckling over that one!

when my daughter was about 5, she used to love swinging on my arm. Playing this game once in the local park, surrounded by other kids and parenst, she shouts out,

"Daddy, I love it when you make it go all stiff!"

I have never left anywhere in such hurry....

Goldau Zoopark
Granny (70+) and grandchild (4) feeding the fish.
Gc: "The water's very deep isn't it?"
Granny: "Yes, quite deep".
Gc: "The fish must have awfully long legs".

Patting my son dry after his bath, which he routinely shares with his little sister.

"You know Mommy, I really need to do a wee. But this time I didn't do it in the bath, I'm holding it for the toilet. "

My son 6yo is not normally a swearer but..
6yo "why can't we have television tonight?"
"well you have not been so good and it is time for bed now"
" we would have had time if you didn't ing shave"

Cute.

Mini-mimi comes running at me with her hands cupped:

"Mummy, I've got the giggles, catch!"

One from many years ago, when my tall teenager was just a tot.
It was just a few months before his scheduled open heart surgery, and I still remember each instant with such bittersweet precision.

He had settled down for his afternoon nap and I had closed the shutters slightly.
I went to check on him and found him quietly playing with a ray of sun that was shining through to his crib.
He was giggling and he said:
"Attrape moi le soleil, maman, attrape le soleil"
"Catch me the Sun, mommy, catch me the Sun"

We live in the French speaking part of Switzerland so my five year old speaks French at school. The other day she was asking me if I spoke French when I was a little girl. I told her no, I didn't speak French when I was young. Her eyes got wide and in a concerned voice she asked "but Mummy, how did you understand your teacher?!"

Stifling a giggle (she gets very insulted if I laugh at her "serious" questions) I explained that in Australia people speak English, so my teacher spoke English when I went to school. She pondered this and then said "oh, right because French wasn't invented back then".

"Mom, come, come, there is Fête des enfants on TV, look, so pretty".

"No, babes, that's Gay Pride in Paris"

News obsession is ok even for a lil kid, but I think I gotta step up my explanation skills, ah.

My 2 year old daughter points at every kinderwagen she sees and excitedly says "BABY" ...again and again ! Really funny and often embarrassing when the "baby" turns out to be older than her .