After another toy fight, my 6 yr old gets angry on her 3 yr old sister and tells me:

"Mami, it's now time that she leaves our house!"

Just to put in context, We come from Madrid, right now (07.10.2013) people wear t-shirt and shorts there, and we live in Zürich area ....
The son of a friend of mien told him the other day, "Dady, why the swiss guys are wearing T-shirt and we already wear coat, rain boots, gloves ...?"

5 years old daughter:

Mini me: Mama, I love you!

Me: I love you more!

Mini me: nooooo, I love you more! More than the stars, the food, the flowers, the planets and monster High..

Me: more than Monster High??? That's a lot!

Mini me: you deserve it.

Our kids speak French at school, and mostly English at home - or at least a pastiche of the two languages. I love it when they translate things to English, as in "Where is the car red from?" or a lovely literal translation "If it's like that, then...". They also speak about having "dideded" something and a host of other tautologies to reconcile their language experiences.

On tube a child said, incredibly loudly"OH! You swore, Mummy."
"Kerfuffle isn't swearing, darling."
"I know.But I thought you said f-u-c-k ."

Sitting at Kreuzlingen station.
min. Are we in Germany yet.
Me. No, next stop.
Train starts moving.
Min. Are we in Germany yet,
Me. At Konstanz, the next stop.
Min, i think we are in Germany, look at all the litter.

Whatever cute things they say to each other....they are funny and a little bit like the forumers, at times.

On holiday in the summer, my 6 year old daughter made a little friend the same age.

They were playing around my sunbed, when the little girl my friend had befriended said to me

"My Mummy can't go swimming at the moment, she's wearing her nappy ".

Didn't really know what to say.

Trying to teach a 3yo discipline in like hearding cats!!

After much and frequent discussion about what a good boy is, I asked my 3yo.
"A good boy doesn't hit his brother, throw toys, smash/throw things"
and
he doesn't say "for F sake!!"
you are not allowed to say F .
saying F is naughty.
so I won't say F tonight.

Umm, good boy!!

My daughter is yawning...

Me: - See now? You are tired because you didn't have a nap.
Her: - no, I am just stretching my mouth!!

My daughter had a cracker at the weekend.

She was playing with her Barbie's, when she said

her: "Mummy, I have only one Ken and 12 Barbies"
me: "and......"
her: "don't I need more Kens as there are too many Barbies for him"
me: "No"
her: "I guess he doesn't mind, if he's on his own, he has a new Barbie each day"


Me thinks my lessons on birds and bees has gone wrong somewhere!

"Mom, why is grandma ill when she's a doctor?"

From a friend of mine:

Alexander: Mummy do you have a penis?
*shudder*
Me: no honey, I have a vagina.
Alexander: you have a van china!?
Me: *sigh* no honey, a vagina.
Alexander: a mans china!?
Me: oh God...

Mummy, can we go to Mc in donalds?

Talking to family on skype with my 3yo..
Her in the background as i'm talking.. "granny, granny, graaaaannyyy!!!"
Turns to me.. "mammy shut your mouth for a minute"
Me in shock.. "excuse me don't speak to me like that!"
Her.. "oh sorry.. PLEASE mammy can you shut your mouth"

In the car
Little monkey:
B for baby,
T for train
V for Valium
Us: ?!?!?
Apparently he meant v for violin, but the damage is done

My 2 year old often pronounces T's like F's.

The neighbor kid recently introduced him to monster trucks. So now my son is constantly running around saying, in a very deep voice:

"Monster Fuuuuuck."

As you can imagine, we've received quite a few interesting reactions when he does this in public.

On a recent holiday to Australia my son was stung by a bee a couple of times. After a long discussion about bees he agreed to try some honey.
"This is really good, maybe it is the bees way of saying sorry for stinging us?"

Oh how I feel your pain!!


Then the discussion with a 3yo on a long distance flight would have gone:


"For truck sake mummy, I am not putting on the trucking seatbelt!!"


It might not have been as bad but the flight was delayed an hour after we were seated on board.........


Given that we were flying out of Zurich, you have never seen so many heads pop up and stare!!

My three year old was listening to me reading a Farmer Brown story. "He watched them from the left, he watched them from the right. He even watched them in disguise."

"Mami! Why does Farmer Brown fly in the sky?"

No amount of explaining will convince her that Farmer Brown can't fly.