I was on the phone with my wife discussing dinner plans and my 7-year-old informed us that “salad is ruining my life.”

Eating spaghetti tonight until..

"Mam! (with a tone of horror), a boy in playgroup had something dangling from his nose when he sneezed, it looked like this *lets spaghetti dangle from her mouth* but it came out of his nose.. and it was green! what was it?"

..charming.

Mom, do they have Euros in China?

Mom, what does gay mean?

Mom, when will God die?

Mom, what does war mean?

No, but they do in Australia.

"so who's this god person anyway?"

"You don't have a house in the mountains?" asked my 4 year old neighbour, quite surprised

A friend's 4 year old daughter visiting asked 'have you got baby Jesus in your fridge as well?'

After a bit of confusion I worked out she meant baby cheeses ie Babybel. Phew.

So with my 8yo playing with the radio in the car,it was sadness I realized that they my boys both been exposed to Shaggy (still making the top 10 playlist here!!).
4yo version
Mr Bombastic
Penis auf Plastic
Dances like a Spastic.
Umm... we don't say spastic.
YES, Noah said I dance like a spastic and I am a good dancer - YOU SAID.

These are adorable. The other day I walked into a room and said, "It stinks in here, does bay Ryan have a dirty diaper?" and my two year old answers, "no, that's dad, he needs to go poop." Husband outed by the two year old

Son is learning German at school this year. He was proudly counting out loud to me :

Eins
Zwei
Drei
Viier
Fünf
Sex...

You might want to brush up your pronunciation honey!

How do you pronounce it?

My 6 years old daughter made a drawing and gave it to me to remember her once she will live in her own home.

She also told me she will take care of me when I will be old but she has to think about it for daddy because he is naughty.....

Something like zeks at least not sex!

Mummy, can you believe we are the only family in England to have a proper Christmas tree (when daughter was about 5- because we had a real tree that was only lit on the 25th after late Christmas lunch- with real candles- as we distributed presents.

My own son says he'll live with me forever, this way I won't feel lonely when I'm old. He plans on getting his future wife to live with us too. I'll bet she'll love it!

Are you sure he isn't Portuguese too!?



I try to talk to my niece on Skype every Sunday if I can. She always says "Tia Mia, I love you and miss you. When will I see you?".

I dread the day she stops saying that.

Aw, cuuute. I told my kid when she's home she gotta play by the rules, and when one day she leaves, and she will want to leave, she will make her own rules..She looked at me and said she will never ever go anywhere. It was very sweet..I told her the world is her oyster (well, more simple phrasing) and the entire future for her to design, own it. It doesn't seem to appeal to the young ones. I love how they love. It's very brave. So responsible. Belonging and openly attached.

Indeed.

My 3.5 years old son doesn't seem to understand that you can love more than one thing or person. He'll say he loves me and my daughter will say it too. My son with tell her in an angry tone that no, she can't love me because HE loves me so she has to love daddy. She will get upset and claim her rights to love me too.

And meanwhile my husband will be there alone asking us who loves him...

My 4YO informs daddy that he could sleep either in his room or mommys room if he is good otherwise he will have to go back to office. According to him daddy lives in office so he is not allowed a room at home. Poor daddy cannot win.

Yes poor daddies always get the raw deal! I get told the same things! And there was a phase where i told daughter to do something and she would march off to find husband and preach the same thing to him! That was her hierarchy, me, her, husband!

An old one: when my daughter was 2;
I take something away and cringe awaiting a tantrum: to husband i say half under my breath "wait for it.. 1..2..3.."
Daughter plops onto the floor and just grumbles "4"..