One of my sons had been using an old digital camera to take lots of images of his toys and brothers. The SD memory card was full but he did not realise this and instead told me:

"I need help, my camera is full of memories!"

An intelligent young man. He should go far!

Trying to teach my daughter how to say her name and address in case she gets lost:

Me: So, what's my first name?
Daughter: V*****!
Me: Right! And what's my surname?
Daughter, looking puzzled: Mmmm. Mommy!

My son started secondary/ high school last September and has made lots of new friends as a result..

Second term began today.

Me: How was your first day back? Was it good seeing your friends again?

Him: Yeah.. I guess.. but, I'd rather be at home stuffing my face with trifle..

Lovely! I've raised him well..

reminds me of sth I heard recently:

young boy skips school, calls in pretending to be his dad
boy: I'd like to excuse my son today, he is sick
school: Ok, what's your name?
boy: ... Dad?

My daughter is the proud owner of a stuffed pink and white unicorn, similar to Agnes's one in Despicable me.

She was watching said movie, when she exclaimed!

"Look mommy! The girl in the movie has the same unicorn than me!"

Dug some worms out of the garden to go fishing with my 5yo over Christmas.

Daddy the worms are dead.
Why do you say that?
They are not worming!
Touch them and they will move.
Okay, they are worming good now.

This morning, my son found a note his 7 year old sister had written to him. He laughed his head off. I complained because she had forgotten a couple of full stops and capitals.

Dear ** (brother),

You have such a smelly bum. Your feet stink and your hair is full of germs.
You're friendless and you never take a bath.

love from **
xoxo

Too much Horrid Henry going on here. Back to R.Dahl for her

According to my both kids, I'm the kind and loving mom and daddy is the mean machine....

I'm pretty sure I scream more than he does....

It is the bane of my children's life that I set them extra homework in Maths & English during the week alongside their normal set school work. In order to make sure we had enough time in the week, on Monday evening the three of us were sat around the kitchen table organising our homework plan.

My daughter pipes up, very innocently:

"Not too much for me on the weekend, Mum. I don't want my weekend ruined!"

She's 7.

Party Girl

"Oh gawd, mom, I look like a teacher today", I could hear this morning coming from the mirror part of our hallway.

"You mean, like me?"

"No. Like a teacher. You know?"

I was trying to figure out if that was actually a compliment, or what..

My daughter will be 15 soon we have done the bowling, sleepover parties, kino, swimming pool parties, so i suggested a nice restaurant with her girlfriends i will drive them then pick them up afterwards she replied she would rather go to Mac Donalds

'Can I cut up the fish when it dies, I want to see what's inside, it's not naughty to cut up a dead fish'
Oh, sorry, I thought this was creepy things kids say.

My son loved his Water Gun. He will turn 3 in April.


The water gun broke a week back, so we threw it away.


Last night, at 04.00, he woke me up and asked me to give him his gun. I told him we threw it in abfall which the abfall man in yellow uniform took it (he has an abfall interactive book). He said, we need to leave right now and go to the abfall headquarters and search for that gun as he needs to be ''ready''.


So apparently the coming weekend, we will be at the Abfall headquarters if any1 needs us.

__________________
You give me the creeps, you know that Dexter ....

Very windy coming out of school recently. Chatting to my daughter as we struggled a wee bit while walking down the street.

"Sorry Mum, the wind is blowing the words back in. They can't get out.."

I thought it strange how the the words that would have answered my questions about getting homework and when it needs to be done by were the very words that were blown back in.

It seems some words are easier than others as she managed just fine to ask what was for dinner and went on to talk about the wind and the weather and kite flying and...

I caught my 5 year old in my office playing with my rather pricey drone. He was whirling the blades around and making whooshing sounds as he swept it around the room.
Outraged I ran up to him and shouted "leave that alone, its not a toy'



Its not what he said, it was the puzzled look on his face as he tried to compute my absurd statement

My daughter is sincerely persuaded that birthdays stop at 20

At least I'll be 20 forever

I was doing homework with my child the other night.

"Darling, your letters are way too small".

"Yeah", she said sincerely, "that's because my eyes are small and tired today".

I could hear the little voice from the living room "Mom, see, my petshop racoon got a new desk. Now she writes all the time. Like you."

My little one has a problem saying "remember"....trying to teach her as she kept repeating rerember, she turned around and said "I know how to say shit though"