There are some but not hardcover.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/s/ref...set+in+english

Why don't buses have seatbelts

Err because they don't drive very fast

But granny doesn't drive fast and I have to wear one in her car

(sigh)

"Mom, how can you sing opera and smile at the same time?"

The first day back at school, and my daughter came home with her favourite pen missing from her pencil case. When I ask her if she left it in her school tray in the classroom, she said no.. she searched, but couldn't find it. Me: not happy.

Never mind, Mum, she said, attempting to reassure me in her best teacher voice, let's turn this into a little maths sum: I had 4 pens going to school this morning, but lost one, how many do I have left?

We bought a plant (for one that is about to die) and were inspecting the name tag. "Ficus benghalensis, nice name, that's somewhere in India" I said. "Wow, it travelled a big journey, it still looks so good!", I got in return.

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I bought a mini strawberry/cream tart to thank my child for her support ("go, Mom, good luck and gut those high notes, knock them dead"), she liked the color but had one bite only. "Mom will be fat if she keeps finishing this stuff after you", I said. "Mom needs to be fat so Mom looks like a Mom".

My daughter is peckish. It's too late for food food.
She wanders around seeing what snacks we have.

'Muuuum.... Can I have some broccoli?'


We have biscuits, cereal bars, cereal, ice-cream, fruit and chocolate and my 8 yr old wants brocolli. My child is odd. She is now eating a satsuma because I am mean.

"Mom, I am so glad we live in Switzerland. There these huge green bugs here."

Hubby is asking the kids to translate some words from different languages.

-What is uvas?

Daughter: -grapes! Mummy loves to drink that.

Last week, my daughter in the back of the car on the way to school practising her times tables as a test was due that day.

Me: 10x12?
Her: ah.. hund..red.. a n d t w e n..
Me: C'mon concentrate, you've got to answer quickly.. 8x5?
Her: ah.. ah.. um.. fort..y..
Me: (getting annoyed) you know all these, quick answers, please! 9x3?
Her: 27.. Can you find someone else to give out to?

Practicing reading with daughter.

He is busy.

Daughter: He is .........

Hubby: b....b.....b.....b

Daughter: .............

Hubby: we say that all the time when daddy is working he is .........?

Daughter: mean?



I spilled my uvas drink out my nose...

Tucking into roast beef and homemade yorkshire puds on Sunday.. all quiet at the table apart for the occasional hum of contentment. Everyone agreed food was lovely except for my daughter, of course, who announced, with cheeks full of food.. stuffing her little face:

"I don't really like roast dinners, I just eat them to please Mum."

Unbelievable!

The little monkey went on to have seconds

What time did you say to be there this week?

..only if you bring lots and lots of wine

I told my kid to stick to decoding sheet music no matter how hard it seems at first, that I will help her a little later and added our "don't run away from a battle". It is a saying we have back home, to not give up at the first obstacle. Just to see a glimps of her leaving from the piano, I hollered "where are you going?". "I am running away from the battle!" she laughed and ran off.

My toddler was being particularly impossible during supper today.

My daughter had a very helpful suggestion for this situation: "you should take him back to daycare"

Maybe she thinks daycare is a place you rent kids from.

She is cute.

In the meantime, I got work to do. "When are you going to finish your turtle?" "I ran out of steam, mom."

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Every fortnight we have fresh eggs from a local farm delivered. Yesterday, we found the egg box in our milk box, and I explained to my daughter that these were very fresh yummy eggs, straight from the farm.

Daughter:"really?! I hope there's a little chick in one of them then!"

Weeeeell...

Mummy, your tummy is funny.

One morning at breakfast.

Son: You haven't really made Donald Trump a good luck card, have you?!
Daughter: Yes, why?
Son: ..but, he's awful.. sexist and racist.
Daughter: I know.. so I've written on the card good luck even though you're racist and sexist

She doesn't even know what that means