Little Rufus singing the alphabet song: A B C D E Jeff G...

I cannot persuade her otherwise. We also get the HIJK refrain after P.

Maybe that's where "effin and jeffin" comes from..?

My daughter:

"It's written on my medicine bottle that I need to eat a packet of Oreos."

Little boy at playgroup: I had a baby sister

me:where is she now?

Boy (glancing at a lion poster) a lion ate her!

Hard to argue against holistic medicine.

Last week:

Mum, did you know that Hitler is famous, but not in a good way?

Didn't answer that one.

At least he /she knew who Hitler was...

A few weeks ago I spotted my 13 y.o. pupils drawing swastikas in their notebooks. I promptly asked them if they had any idea what they were doing - they hadn't. I told them it was the Hitlerian symbol, and they all looked at me in utter loss: "Hitler who?"

Are your students into hinduism then? Svastika means "good fortune" or "well-being" and the symbol usually has 4 dots in addition to that funny cross.

Lying by the pool one day in Miami, kid comes up to me and asked me where I was from, Scotland I replied...and you? I was born here but my father is porky-cheese. Poky what?? I said...yeah, he was born in Portugal...he's porky-cheese

Real svastikas also 'turn' toward the right, i.e. the future, conversely to the Hitlerian symbol. Unfortunately my pupils weren't doing the Hinduist version, not that they had any idea it could exist anyway

Reminds me of a short poem learnt in primary school:

"Radi was a circus lion.
Radi had a lady trainer.
Radiator."

OH: Is it Sechseläuten on Monday?

Daughter: Huh? Sexy Mountain?!

At the zoo this afternoon, watching the porcupines.

My toddler: "Mommy! A Pokémon!"

Min was given a bag of treats, chocolate rabbits, jelly bean eggs and a real painted egg. She nearly dropped it and I said not to worry that it was cooked. She was dubious so I explained that cooked eggs were painted and raw eggs not. She kept questioning until I said trust me, I know. She asked how I knew and I said because I've lived in Switzerland for 5 years.
Then she loudly said under her breath so the whole train carriage could hear 'and you still can't speak German'

My wife was giving our kids and impromptu animal quiz whilst on a walk at the weekend.

The response to her question, "Which country has the most species of poisonous animals?" resulted with various wrong, but thoughtful guesses from my two eldest, including "Kenya? India? South Africa?"

And then my five-year old piped up with "Belgium?"

We are having a bit of a time crunch these days and my kid chaperoned me to a pre-concert Bach rehearsal..I was doing dishes last night, listening to her sing while she was taking a shower. I was thinking "nice, she remembers the mellody", when I noticed "gorilllaaa....gorilllaa la la la".

Gloria must make no sense to kids.

"Mum, did you know that Hitler was famous, but not in a good way?"

What, again? Your little one has a memory like a sieve.

Well I guess we know their view on Brexit then

"Mummy, I did sick in my lunchbox."

Oh, joy.