My 3 year old niece--- I bought her corn from a farm and told her. She loved the fresh corn and thanked me loudly in front of guests for Aunty buying her "porn from a barn" :-))))

Just loved that!!! Made me really smile. Thanks!

My daughter said "Daddy is good girl"
I corrected "you have to say Daddy is good boy"

My daughter "But boys are bad right"

"Who moved the classroom clock forward?"

"It did it itself. To give us longer lunchbreak."

Reminds me of the very public "cockporn" tantrum staged by my then-toddler son when I produced a sandwich bag with a couple of handfuls of unsalted supermarket popcorn as a quick snack.

Much better cockporn at the fairground, apparently.

My 8 yo

'Can I have an iPhone for my birthday?'

'When you go to secondary school'

'How about a Samsung?'

Me: “It’s going to be cold. Maybe you should wear jeans today.”
Son: “I’m much slower in jeans. I can’t fold my knees properly.”

Solid, sensible reasoning.

My mouth is not made for your phonetics.

"Like...hashtag...like...no pesticides...like...omg...save the turtles".

We laughed so much at some of the vsco girl madness.

"You don't let me develop my elbow skills".

"You look a little bit Mormon."

Will you paint and create things when I am elsewhere?

Will you play the piano very slowly to get a good practice?

Will you make all the good stuff wait for when I am back?

One of our cats has a noticeable overbite. Kids wonder if there is such thing as cat braces. I checked, and yes, it appears that there is indeed such a thing!

That's one of the most considerate things I have heard of lately. Hats off for the veterinary dentists! I can picture the ad
"Orthodontist specialised in cats offers efficient Invisalign treatment."

Post-breakfast conversation between my 2 youngest kids, Anna (11) and Nicholas (15), as we're getting things off the table and getting ready to go our own ways. Anna is trying to have anyone realize she's attempting to quote from "Rick & Morty" (a cartoon series for teenagers and up). In this one episode, dogs become super intelligent and dominate humanity.

Anna: "Hey, where are my spectacles?"
(nobody responds to that)
Anna: Hey, hey, mom..."Where are my spectacles?"
(mom continues to talk to Nick)
Anna: Hey, hey, Nick..."Where are my spectacles?"
Nick: Anna ! It's not spectacles. It's "testicles". The quote is "where are my testicles?"
Anna: What's "testicles?"

__________________
The internet makes it easy to be a jerk and forget the person we're talking to is a human. It also makes us see messages from awful people and assume they come from normal peers.

Guess who procrastinated the birds+bees talk.
Your Sunday is scheduled.

Oh, between her 19 yr old older sister and her 15 yr old brother, plus her super early developments, she KNOWS. In a lot more detail that I'd like her to. But I guess the proper term just didn't come to mind.

"What are the 10 most important jobs and why?"

"So. An alpiniste...".

Love this place.

"I coined it. It is my word. My word for my world."