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-   -   Cute things kids say (https://www.englishforum.ch/family-matters-health/98136-cute-things-kids-say.html)

Deep Purple 19.11.2010 23:15

Re: Cute things kids say
 
From school kids homework (allegedly) :D


HISTORY


In wartime children who lived in big cities had to be evaporated because it was safer in the country


Sometimes in the war they take prisners and keep them as ostiges until the war is over. Come prisoners end up in consterpation camps


Then Joan of Ark met her end. She was burned as a steak


Sir Walter Raleigh circumcised the world with a big clipper


MATHS


The total is when you add up all the numbers and a remainder is an animal that pulls Santa on his slay


I would like to be an accountant but you have to know a lot of moths


If it is less than 90 degrees it is a cute angel


RELIGIOUS STUDIES


A mosque is a sort of church. The main difference is that its roof is doomed


I asked my mum why we said old men at the end of prayers at skool, I don't know any old men apart from grandpa


If you marry two people you are a pigamist, but morons are allowed to do this


GEOGRAPHY


The closest town to France is Dover. You can get yo France on a train or you can go on a fairy


In geography we learned that countries with sea round them are islands and ones without sea are incontinents


THE ARTS


and at the end of the show we all sing away in a manager


In last year's Christmas concert, Linzi played the main prat. I played one of the smaller prats and I would like to have a bigger prat this year


SCIENCE


Helicopters are cleverer than planes. Not only can they fly through the air they can also hoover


One of the most important farces is the farce that pulls things to the ground. This farce is called gravy


NATURAL HISTORY


Crabs and creatures like them all belong to a family of crushed asians


HOLIDAYS


On our activity holiday Dad wanted to ride the hores, but Mom said they were too ekspensiv.

Doctor 20.11.2010 00:05

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Many years ago, when I was 23-25 years old, I worked as a salesman in a furniture store in Germany. I had a goatee back then, and one day, some customers brought a small kid with them in the shop.

He points at a chair, and proudly says "Stuhl" , and his parents tell him how clever he is.
Then he points at a candle, and proudly says "Kerze", and his parents tell him how clever he is.
Then he points at a table, and proudly says "Tisch", and his parents tell him how clever he is.
Then he points at me, and says "Opa" (Grandpa), and I'm just standing there with a wtf-expression on my face, and his parents tell me, his Grandpa also has a similar looking beard, so the kid figured, man with goatee = Opa

Doc.

araqyl 20.11.2010 06:49

Re: Cute things kids say
 
My youngest is not-quite-three, with a reasonably large vocabulary ... and loves to talk!

At the moment, though, he's lacking a few verbs ... but has a default verb to use! So, when he's not sure of the verb he wants, he uses, "crunching". Some examples I've heard over the past few weeks ...

"I'm crunching to go that way!" (trying)
"I'm crunching the bread." (in this case not eating, as might be logical, but buttering)
"I'm crunching my boots on!" (putting, clearly - in a hurry to get out the door ...)

Most often, it's instead of 'trying', but it's amazing what's being "crunched" at the moment! Just can't recall them all right now ...

22.11.2010 11:47

Re: Cute things kids say
 
My little one is a bit too small to really talk, but I just can't resist to post, how it makes my heart glow when she smiles. I could never ever imagine that a smile can be so moving and touching.

Sarneraa 22.11.2010 12:09

Re: Cute things kids say
 
My son was about 4 when a close friend of the family announced she was going to have a baby.

His reply:

"Oh! You will go bigger, bigger, bigger, POP! *claps hands together*"

:msnshock:

Evolver 22.11.2010 12:12

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarneraa (Post 1020878)

"Oh! You will go bigger, bigger, bigger, POP! *claps hands together*"

:msnshock:

Must be a running gag amongst toddlers...ours said exactly the same when Mummy was pregnant.

J.L-P 08.12.2010 12:30

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Miss L-P would like to be a gynecologist, once again I asked if she was sure.

"Yessss, I really want to be one, but I am not sure if I want to look at vagina's all day long.".

At least she is realistic.

Carlos R 08.12.2010 12:39

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Our oldest had a lot of "problems" with personal pronouns, specifically I/me interchanging with you.

Me: "XXX do you want to try this, or shall I do it?"
Him: "No, you do it"

(me starts doing task or whatever).

Him: "NO! You do it, you do it, you do it!"
Me: "I am, I am, I can't do it any faster..."
Him: "NO! You do it, you do it, you do it!"
Me: *click* "Oh, you want to do it?"
Him: "Yes!"

Happened for a good couple of months. I was kinda' sad when he stopped speaking like that, as it was sweet in a way only said child's parent can understand ;).

EnglishRose 08.12.2010 13:27

Re: Cute things kids say
 
A couple of days ago my nearly 3 year old daughter very nearly made me choke on my breakfast cereal with the following conversation :

Me : Are you excited about going to Grandma & Grandad's for Christmas?
Her: Yes
Me : You'll be sharing a room with your cousin, will that be OK?
Her : Yes. He's a boy?
Me: Yes darling, he's a boy.

(Pause for thought)

Her: Boys have willies, girls have foo-foo's (I know, blame her Dad for that one!)
I've got a foo-foo, you've got a foo-foo, Daddy has a Willy and XXX (her brother)
has a willy too?
Me : Yes that's right.
Her: When I get bigger, I get a spikey foo-foo too?
Me: (Spluttering my cereal over the table) Pardon me?
Her: You was bending over in the bathroom the other day and you have a spikey foo-
foo. I get one when I get bigger.

I laughed till I cried, but am really praying that this conversation isn't repeated over Christmas Dinner with the whole family present!

Custodian 08.12.2010 13:43

Re: Cute things kids say
 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-11946022

Having just read this on the news our 10 year olds comment:-

"Mami, can I get this book at the library ?"

jhyn21 08.12.2010 14:34

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Here is funny video of a dad in crib because baby gurl does want him to go :)



and another clip were the baby girl is a bit bigger she adorably mispronounces their last name super cute :)

http://www.youtube.com/user/NunzioRa.../4/zIel6BDPQ-I

22 yards 10.12.2010 00:04

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Decades ago, my grandparents gave my brother (aged about 3 at the time) one of those little cardboard tubs of ice cream with a peel-off lid. He studied it carefully, turned it around a few times, looked at the bottom - then stared up at his grandparents with huge, solemn eyes and announced in a bewildered tone, "No door!"

ximix 10.12.2010 00:41

Re: Cute things kids say
 
I always remember when one of my nephews, then aged 3, and I went to feed bread to the ducks at the local pond. One of them came right up to him, was about the same height and was quacking away like mad for food and he told it to shut up and stop shouting! It did :).

lost_inbroad 10.12.2010 07:39

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ishaka (Post 1040431)
...was quacking away like mad for "insert anything" and I told her to shut up and stop quaking! She did :).

...works like a charm for women as well. :D:p (ducks for cover)

wellmood 10.12.2010 20:15

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Slightly annoyed I told my demanding 4 yr old: 'How many things can I do at once again..?!'
He replied: 'Two, mommy, because you've got 2 hands!' DOH!

JC1 10.12.2010 21:13

Re: Cute things kids say
 
2 year old girl, opening advent calendar:

Me: no, you can't open any more windows today. You can open another one tomorrow.

small pause

Child: Is it tomorrow now?

ximix 11.12.2010 13:35

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lost_inbroad (Post 1040487)
...works like a charm for women as well. :D:p (ducks for cover)

@LiB Hahaha! It's a good job I know you, otherwise I would've groaned at you too :p:msntongue:

22 yards 11.12.2010 14:44

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JC1 (Post 1041330)
2 year old girl, opening advent calendar:

Me: no, you can't open any more windows today. You can open another one tomorrow.

small pause

Child: Is it tomorrow now?

That's a cute variation on the "Are we there yet?" theme!

22 yards 13.12.2010 10:28

Re: Cute things kids say
 
My son is suffering from SOD (Seasonal Obsessive Disorder).

Me: "Who's your best friend at kita?"

Him: "Simon."

Me: "What's Simon's mummy's name?"

Him: "Father Christmas!"

and.y.s 13.12.2010 11:18

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Oh god...

I read these things and can't stop thinking: "I can't wait to have my own kids" :)


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