Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Family matters/health  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #101  
Old 19.11.2010, 23:15
Deep Purple's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: England
Posts: 5,267
Groaned at 16 Times in 15 Posts
Thanked 5,219 Times in 2,546 Posts
Deep Purple has a reputation beyond reputeDeep Purple has a reputation beyond reputeDeep Purple has a reputation beyond reputeDeep Purple has a reputation beyond reputeDeep Purple has a reputation beyond reputeDeep Purple has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cute things kids say

From school kids homework (allegedly)


HISTORY


In wartime children who lived in big cities had to be evaporated because it was safer in the country


Sometimes in the war they take prisners and keep them as ostiges until the war is over. Come prisoners end up in consterpation camps


Then Joan of Ark met her end. She was burned as a steak


Sir Walter Raleigh circumcised the world with a big clipper


MATHS


The total is when you add up all the numbers and a remainder is an animal that pulls Santa on his slay


I would like to be an accountant but you have to know a lot of moths


If it is less than 90 degrees it is a cute angel


RELIGIOUS STUDIES


A mosque is a sort of church. The main difference is that its roof is doomed


I asked my mum why we said old men at the end of prayers at skool, I don't know any old men apart from grandpa


If you marry two people you are a pigamist, but morons are allowed to do this


GEOGRAPHY


The closest town to France is Dover. You can get yo France on a train or you can go on a fairy


In geography we learned that countries with sea round them are islands and ones without sea are incontinents


THE ARTS


and at the end of the show we all sing away in a manager


In last year's Christmas concert, Linzi played the main prat. I played one of the smaller prats and I would like to have a bigger prat this year


SCIENCE


Helicopters are cleverer than planes. Not only can they fly through the air they can also hoover


One of the most important farces is the farce that pulls things to the ground. This farce is called gravy


NATURAL HISTORY


Crabs and creatures like them all belong to a family of crushed asians


HOLIDAYS


On our activity holiday Dad wanted to ride the hores, but Mom said they were too ekspensiv.
__________________
"I'll say I can't tell you when, But if my spirit is strong, I know it can't be long, No questions I'm not alone, Somehow I'll find my way home" Rod
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Deep Purple for this useful post:
  #102  
Old 20.11.2010, 00:05
Doctor's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Zürich
Posts: 1,071
Groaned at 3 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 527 Times in 323 Posts
Doctor has a reputation beyond reputeDoctor has a reputation beyond reputeDoctor has a reputation beyond reputeDoctor has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cute things kids say

Many years ago, when I was 23-25 years old, I worked as a salesman in a furniture store in Germany. I had a goatee back then, and one day, some customers brought a small kid with them in the shop.

He points at a chair, and proudly says "Stuhl" , and his parents tell him how clever he is.
Then he points at a candle, and proudly says "Kerze", and his parents tell him how clever he is.
Then he points at a table, and proudly says "Tisch", and his parents tell him how clever he is.
Then he points at me, and says "Opa" (Grandpa), and I'm just standing there with a wtf-expression on my face, and his parents tell me, his Grandpa also has a similar looking beard, so the kid figured, man with goatee = Opa

Doc.
__________________
‘I had a bottle of whisky that I’d bought to take with me when I go to visit friends in Canada, but I thought, “I’m not opening that for him!”
- Gillian Duffy when Gordon Brown visited her
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Doctor for this useful post:
  #103  
Old 20.11.2010, 06:49
araqyl's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Zurich, West-side
Posts: 1,670
Groaned at 6 Times in 5 Posts
Thanked 782 Times in 447 Posts
araqyl has a reputation beyond reputearaqyl has a reputation beyond reputearaqyl has a reputation beyond reputearaqyl has a reputation beyond reputearaqyl has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cute things kids say

My youngest is not-quite-three, with a reasonably large vocabulary ... and loves to talk!

At the moment, though, he's lacking a few verbs ... but has a default verb to use! So, when he's not sure of the verb he wants, he uses, "crunching". Some examples I've heard over the past few weeks ...

"I'm crunching to go that way!" (trying)
"I'm crunching the bread." (in this case not eating, as might be logical, but buttering)
"I'm crunching my boots on!" (putting, clearly - in a hurry to get out the door ...)

Most often, it's instead of 'trying', but it's amazing what's being "crunched" at the moment! Just can't recall them all right now ...
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank araqyl for this useful post:
  #104  
Old 22.11.2010, 11:47
armandair
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Cute things kids say

My little one is a bit too small to really talk, but I just can't resist to post, how it makes my heart glow when she smiles. I could never ever imagine that a smile can be so moving and touching.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank for this useful post:
  #105  
Old 22.11.2010, 12:09
Sarneraa's Avatar
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Obwalden
Posts: 24
Groaned at 3 Times in 1 Post
Thanked 29 Times in 8 Posts
Sarneraa has made some interesting contributions
Re: Cute things kids say

My son was about 4 when a close friend of the family announced she was going to have a baby.

His reply:

"Oh! You will go bigger, bigger, bigger, POP! *claps hands together*"

Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Sarneraa for this useful post:
  #106  
Old 22.11.2010, 12:12
Evolver's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Lucerne
Posts: 293
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 127 Times in 70 Posts
Evolver is considered knowledgeableEvolver is considered knowledgeableEvolver is considered knowledgeable
Re: Cute things kids say

Quote:
View Post

"Oh! You will go bigger, bigger, bigger, POP! *claps hands together*"

Must be a running gag amongst toddlers...ours said exactly the same when Mummy was pregnant.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Evolver for this useful post:
  #107  
Old 08.12.2010, 12:30
J.L-P's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Gocki
Posts: 2,749
Groaned at 53 Times in 27 Posts
Thanked 2,317 Times in 1,044 Posts
J.L-P has a reputation beyond reputeJ.L-P has a reputation beyond reputeJ.L-P has a reputation beyond reputeJ.L-P has a reputation beyond reputeJ.L-P has a reputation beyond reputeJ.L-P has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cute things kids say

Miss L-P would like to be a gynecologist, once again I asked if she was sure.

"Yessss, I really want to be one, but I am not sure if I want to look at vagina's all day long.".

At least she is realistic.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank J.L-P for this useful post:
  #108  
Old 08.12.2010, 12:39
Carlos R's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Roundn'about Basel
Posts: 7,219
Groaned at 105 Times in 95 Posts
Thanked 9,906 Times in 4,164 Posts
Carlos R has a reputation beyond reputeCarlos R has a reputation beyond reputeCarlos R has a reputation beyond reputeCarlos R has a reputation beyond reputeCarlos R has a reputation beyond reputeCarlos R has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cute things kids say

Our oldest had a lot of "problems" with personal pronouns, specifically I/me interchanging with you.

Me: "XXX do you want to try this, or shall I do it?"
Him: "No, you do it"

(me starts doing task or whatever).

Him: "NO! You do it, you do it, you do it!"
Me: "I am, I am, I can't do it any faster..."
Him: "NO! You do it, you do it, you do it!"
Me: *click* "Oh, you want to do it?"
Him: "Yes!"

Happened for a good couple of months. I was kinda' sad when he stopped speaking like that, as it was sweet in a way only said child's parent can understand .
__________________
Never let right or wrong get in the way of a good opinion
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Carlos R for this useful post:
  #109  
Old 08.12.2010, 13:27
EnglishRose's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Staefa
Posts: 124
Groaned at 1 Time in 1 Post
Thanked 46 Times in 29 Posts
EnglishRose has made some interesting contributions
Re: Cute things kids say

A couple of days ago my nearly 3 year old daughter very nearly made me choke on my breakfast cereal with the following conversation :

Me : Are you excited about going to Grandma & Grandad's for Christmas?
Her: Yes
Me : You'll be sharing a room with your cousin, will that be OK?
Her : Yes. He's a boy?
Me: Yes darling, he's a boy.

(Pause for thought)

Her: Boys have willies, girls have foo-foo's (I know, blame her Dad for that one!)
I've got a foo-foo, you've got a foo-foo, Daddy has a Willy and XXX (her brother)
has a willy too?
Me : Yes that's right.
Her: When I get bigger, I get a spikey foo-foo too?
Me: (Spluttering my cereal over the table) Pardon me?
Her: You was bending over in the bathroom the other day and you have a spikey foo-
foo. I get one when I get bigger.

I laughed till I cried, but am really praying that this conversation isn't repeated over Christmas Dinner with the whole family present!
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank EnglishRose for this useful post:
  #110  
Old 08.12.2010, 13:43
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Rafz
Posts: 123
Groaned at 48 Times in 22 Posts
Thanked 33 Times in 27 Posts
Custodian is considered a nuisanceCustodian is considered a nuisanceCustodian is considered a nuisance
Re: Cute things kids say

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-11946022

Having just read this on the news our 10 year olds comment:-

"Mami, can I get this book at the library ?"
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Custodian for this useful post:
  #111  
Old 08.12.2010, 14:34
jhyn21's Avatar
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Bern
Posts: 59
Groaned at 6 Times in 4 Posts
Thanked 27 Times in 17 Posts
jhyn21 has no particular reputation at present
Re: Cute things kids say

Here is funny video of a dad in crib because baby gurl does want him to go



and another clip were the baby girl is a bit bigger she adorably mispronounces their last name super cute

http://www.youtube.com/user/NunzioRa.../4/zIel6BDPQ-I
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank jhyn21 for this useful post:
  #112  
Old 10.12.2010, 00:04
22 yards's Avatar
Only in moderation
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Basel-Land
Posts: 8,409
Groaned at 246 Times in 199 Posts
Thanked 15,710 Times in 6,496 Posts
22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cute things kids say

Decades ago, my grandparents gave my brother (aged about 3 at the time) one of those little cardboard tubs of ice cream with a peel-off lid. He studied it carefully, turned it around a few times, looked at the bottom - then stared up at his grandparents with huge, solemn eyes and announced in a bewildered tone, "No door!"
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank 22 yards for this useful post:
  #113  
Old 10.12.2010, 00:41
ximix's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK (formerly Zurich)
Posts: 2,107
Groaned at 22 Times in 21 Posts
Thanked 2,315 Times in 1,179 Posts
ximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cute things kids say

I always remember when one of my nephews, then aged 3, and I went to feed bread to the ducks at the local pond. One of them came right up to him, was about the same height and was quacking away like mad for food and he told it to shut up and stop shouting! It did .
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank ximix for this useful post:
  #114  
Old 10.12.2010, 07:39
lost_inbroad's Avatar
Unbridled Mod
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Town or region
Posts: 10,964
Groaned at 579 Times in 376 Posts
Thanked 14,522 Times in 5,732 Posts
lost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cute things kids say

Quote:
View Post
...was quacking away like mad for "insert anything" and I told her to shut up and stop quaking! She did .
...works like a charm for women as well. (ducks for cover)

Last edited by lost_inbroad; 10.12.2010 at 07:58.
Reply With Quote
This user groans at lost_inbroad for this post:
  #115  
Old 10.12.2010, 20:15
wellmood's Avatar
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Vaud region
Posts: 53
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 29 Times in 16 Posts
wellmood has earned some respectwellmood has earned some respect
Re: Cute things kids say

Slightly annoyed I told my demanding 4 yr old: 'How many things can I do at once again..?!'
He replied: 'Two, mommy, because you've got 2 hands!' DOH!
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank wellmood for this useful post:
  #116  
Old 10.12.2010, 21:13
JC1 JC1 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wernetshausen, ZH
Posts: 54
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 57 Times in 15 Posts
JC1 has earned the respect of manyJC1 has earned the respect of manyJC1 has earned the respect of many
Re: Cute things kids say

2 year old girl, opening advent calendar:

Me: no, you can't open any more windows today. You can open another one tomorrow.

small pause

Child: Is it tomorrow now?
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank JC1 for this useful post:
  #117  
Old 11.12.2010, 13:35
ximix's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK (formerly Zurich)
Posts: 2,107
Groaned at 22 Times in 21 Posts
Thanked 2,315 Times in 1,179 Posts
ximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond reputeximix has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cute things kids say

Quote:
View Post
...works like a charm for women as well. (ducks for cover)
@LiB Hahaha! It's a good job I know you, otherwise I would've groaned at you too
Reply With Quote
  #118  
Old 11.12.2010, 14:44
22 yards's Avatar
Only in moderation
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Basel-Land
Posts: 8,409
Groaned at 246 Times in 199 Posts
Thanked 15,710 Times in 6,496 Posts
22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cute things kids say

Quote:
View Post
2 year old girl, opening advent calendar:

Me: no, you can't open any more windows today. You can open another one tomorrow.

small pause

Child: Is it tomorrow now?
That's a cute variation on the "Are we there yet?" theme!
Reply With Quote
  #119  
Old 13.12.2010, 10:28
22 yards's Avatar
Only in moderation
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Basel-Land
Posts: 8,409
Groaned at 246 Times in 199 Posts
Thanked 15,710 Times in 6,496 Posts
22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute22 yards has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cute things kids say

My son is suffering from SOD (Seasonal Obsessive Disorder).

Me: "Who's your best friend at kita?"

Him: "Simon."

Me: "What's Simon's mummy's name?"

Him: "Father Christmas!"
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank 22 yards for this useful post:
  #120  
Old 13.12.2010, 11:18
Newbie
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Zürich
Posts: 7
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
and.y.s has no particular reputation at present
Re: Cute things kids say

Oh god...

I read these things and can't stop thinking: "I can't wait to have my own kids"
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank and.y.s for this useful post:
Reply

Tags
children, funny things, things kids say




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Things to do with kids in St Gallen AngeK Family matters/health 6 08.01.2015 21:15
KIDS-when is it ok for them to know 'grown up' things? yupnya Family matters/health 35 19.01.2011 13:39
Things to do on a sunday with kids? zurich99 Daily life 5 06.02.2010 20:41
Things You Let Your Kids Do. J.L-P General off-topic 3 27.10.2008 14:04
New Business...importing things, clothing, food, misc things from the USA Wife of a swiss Business & entrepreneur 9 09.10.2007 15:05


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 06:55.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0