My youngest (three) currently has a pair of cute & useful phrases ...

If he agrees with something, he'll say, "I think so!".

If he disagrees? "I think not!".

We have "are you kidding me?" on repeat a couple of times a day
"I have a good idea" also sounds through our apartment a few times a day. It's cute when they still struggle with the correct pronunciation.

My 5yr old, keeps repeating "yes, I already know", when we tell him to do things right.. and keeps doing the same thing wrong..

And when we tell him anything, he always says "Yes, ok", and when asked what we just said, he goes:

I hope my kid is not the only one doing this..

Naw, kids are already cautious of making mistakes. Mine hates to be corrected sometimes, I usually prevent some over reaction first praising her (that she did something by herself) then surreptitiously correcting her. But, often, she still insists on doing things wrong, since they do have to make those mistakes to learn. It's cute, stubborn. Normal.

Like "if you brush your teeth and put on PJs at the same time, you'll get toothpaste all over your PJs." "no, I have a good idea (more like, aeeeev a goordiea) to do it at the same time, saves time", "you will get toothpaste all over", "no, I have a good idea", "Oops", "now, aren't you a skilled big girl putting PJs on, brushing teeth all by yourself", "lemi fix it", "we won't do it next time at the same time, although, theoretically, an awesome idea, very good"....Ah. Kids.

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"L'homme ne peut pas remplacer son coeur avec sa tete, ni sa tete avec ses mains." J.H. Pestalozzi

“The only difference between a rut and a grave is a matter of depth.” S.P. Cadman

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." A. Einstein

Been trying to teach the art of knock-knock jokes to a 4 year old:

Dad? -yes?

Knock Knock! - who's there?
Banana! -banana who?
(pause)
And, and then we had a pancake?! And, then, then that bird told me talked to me.


Actually much funnier than a proper knock knock joke .

8 year old

"I can't go to Football Training"
"Why not?" I ask..
"I need to rest - I've picked up a knock.
"What!"
"It's just a slight strain, it needs rest before the weekend"

How does he learn such professional phrases?!

We'd better stop him watching Match of the Day on Sunday morning whilst we try and have 90 minutes more sleep...

My favourite of my 3-year-old's current phrases: "No I'm aren't!"

I'm also keen on "I think not", but that's been taken already by araqyl Jr.

"The Story of Milk" by my 5 year-old

"We get milk from the cow. First he drinks the milk. Then we squeeze his udder. And out comes the milk..."

My three year old's take on "a joke" tonight at dinner:

him: Why did the doctor go to a party?
me: I don't know, why did the doctor go to a party?
him: because he's a mushroom [falls about laughing]....
me:

[Then remembered the joke that he heard on gigglebiz which goes: why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy.... ]

We are planning a holiday that involves flying
4yo son "Will we see the blue man?"
Umm, which blue man?
4yo "The one on the plane?"
Probably
4yo "What does he do?"
Well he sits at the front and flys the plane.
4yo "and the blue ladies?"
Trying to be PC - Well they might fly the plane too
4yo "No, their job is to make the food and the blue man closes the door so they can't get in!!"
Umm, mmm, "What do you want for dinner?"

3 year old brother stole some freshly made chocolate cookies from the kitchen table and was hiding under the table eating them, when mother walked in and asked what he was doing under the table the in chocolate covered kid replied "checking the heating system"

We just returned from a visit to friends in Frankfurt. As we drove into the city, my 3.5-year-old son spied the iconic Radisson Blu Hotel and squealed, "Look! A biscuit!!!" ... then, "And someone's taken a bite out of it!"

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The 2.5-year-old son of our friends in Frankfurt (tearfully): "Where's mummy?"

His almost-4-year-old brother: "Don't worry, mummy will be here in three years!"

"Mom, cant I be a chair, please?", "why?", "coz it never dies.."

My 5 yr old's summation of her perfomance at PE this term " I am always the last FASTEST in the class"!!!!!!!!!

Lazy Sunday morning with the 4 year old

"Can I watch C-Beebies please Daddy?"
"No, I'm watching the President being interviewed" (Andrew Marr + Obama on BBC)

"He's got a badge Daddy!"
"Oh yes..."
"Look here" running to the screen
"What's the badge son?"
"It's America!"
"Why does he wear it?"
"So that everyone knows he lives in America!"

Well, it was the way he said it and we're not Americans...

Someone came in our house recently, he took his shoes off and my 2.5 years old look at them and said:

-Wouash! Ca pue! (it stinks!)

Not sure who won the embarrassment contest...

May I add a teen's comment ?
Awwww Mom.. it's so hard to talk to a girl.. they always travel in packs

Who'd wanna be a teenager again?

My three-year-old (again) has come up with a great phrase: "That smells like a good idea!". The German-speaking staff at his kindy don't think it's that strange ...

It's a serious problem for a teenage guy!

Perhaps it's a "natural selection" thing, ensuring that only the most confident males have the chance to pass on their genes ...