English Forum Switzerland

English Forum Switzerland (https://www.englishforum.ch/forum.php)
-   Family matters/health (https://www.englishforum.ch/family-matters-health/)
-   -   Cute things kids say (https://www.englishforum.ch/family-matters-health/98136-cute-things-kids-say.html)

22 yards 31.10.2010 02:41

Cute things kids say
 
Sorry if this turns into a parental self-serving aren't-my-kids-the-greatest kinda thread, but ... well, isn't every parent's kid the greatest?

Mine is about to turn three and has had me rolling in the aisles with some of the things he's been saying recently.

Him: "I need a banana!"
Me: "Darling ... we talked about this before. 'Please may I ...'."
Him: "Please may I need a banana?"

And today, reinforcing the fact that the letter 'Y' is the most commonly used letter in a toddler's vocabulary:

Me: "I'm just cooking dinner, darling, won't be long."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Well, we're hungry, aren't we, and we need to eat."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "If we eat dinner, we won't be hungry any more."
Him: "Yes. Why?" (for a bit of variety)
Me: (launching into technical discourse in the hope of throwing the little limpet off) "Filling the stomach with food triggers nervous impulses which act to satiate the brain's blah blah blah blah so you don't feel hungry any more. And you get nutrients to make you grow big and strong."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Look, kiddo, not everything needs to be explained. Ummmm ... what's your name?"
Him: [Says his name, and spells it for good measure.] (Oh yeah, he's a genius, all right.)
Me: (fatal mistake -- I should have left it at that, when I broke the chain) "That's right! And that's not something you can explain, is it?"
Him: (looks thoughtful, then nods) "No. Why?"

Here's something from YouTube (never try to ascertain your child's feelings for you in the presence or otherwise of food). More than 56 million people now know what this 3-year-old thinks of his mother.



Do you have any gems from your offspring that you can share here?

cannut 31.10.2010 02:07

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Gems,Cute my a$$; Sitting Beside my grand son, when he was about 2 1/2,on the way home from Toronto.In a very sweet voice"Grandpa"-"Yes"-"You stupid" :eek::msnsarcastic::pGrrrrrrrr no more "B" day present for the next 10 years:mad::D

finesse 31.10.2010 07:51

Re: Cute things kids say
 
we played monopoly with my 4 year old son. On TV they showed models in lingerie. He said:" Dad I like these ladies with tits. These looks delicious" :D

OZHK 31.10.2010 08:09

Re: Cute things kids say
 
When we first moved here my husband went for a jog by the lake. It was dusk so he couldn't see very well. He almost ran into 2 people getting out of the lake......they were starkers.

He was relating the story to a friend when our son pipes in "Did you tickle them?"

i-b-deborah 31.10.2010 08:25

Re: Cute things kids say
 
This is a friends story, about the time he went swimming with his daughter. Afterwards, in the change rooms, his daughter was chatting to a little friend she'd just made and it's father, who happened to be getting changed at the time. When friends daughter saw new friends father in the all-together, she piped up with, "My Daddy's got a big penis too.......... show them Daddy". As a look of dread, shame, but at the same time deep understanding, passed between the two men, my friend had to whip his out to have it scrutinised by (by now) the whole change room to see if it was in fact bigger. He never told me who "won", and these men now avoid eye contact whenever possible.

31.10.2010 08:34

Re: Cute things kids say
 
I loved my daughter's first Christmas carol back when she was about 3 years old, it went like this:


We wish you a Merry Christmas,

We wish you a Merry Christmas,

We wish you a Merry Christmas..

And a Happy New You..



.

Röschti 31.10.2010 10:13

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by i-b-deborah (Post 996999)
This is a friends story, about the time he went swimming with his daughter. Afterwards, in the change rooms, his daughter was chatting to a little friend she'd just made and it's father, who happened to be getting changed at the time. When friends daughter saw new friends father in the all-together, she piped up with, "My Daddy's got a big penis too.......... show them Daddy". As a look of dread, shame, but at the same time deep understanding, passed between the two men, my friend had to whip his out to have it scrutinised by (by now) the whole change room to see if it was in fact bigger. He never told me who "won", and these men now avoid eye contact whenever possible.

I have always thought little girls shouldn't see their father naked because it can be traumatising for them.

Now I am persuaded that they shouldn't because it can be traumatising for their father. :eek:

Sky 31.10.2010 11:08

Re: Cute things kids say
 
We tried desperately to get our 4 year old to give up his pacifier. Nothing worked.
One morning he was looking in the mirror, pacifier and all, ready to go.
His dad was just behind him, putting on his jacket ready for work.

I said to him:

- Aren't you missing something ? (as in: we have a deal lil'buddy, no more pacifier....)

With out missing a beat, he looked at me, then at his dad and back at me and answered:

- a tie perhaps ?

Lou 31.10.2010 11:29

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Driving my oldest, who was 3 years old at the time, home from nursery one night he proceeded to tell me the is a bad word & we should not say . Of course being 3 he said it again & again to the point I was almost crying with laughter.

menace 31.10.2010 11:43

Re: Cute things kids say
 
I could go on for ever, but it would probably only be interesting to me. Ah well, in for a penny and all that, never stopped me before. Lets be aussie about it.

In answer to the perpetual 'why', question, 'why not?' a moments consideration from ny son, then 'thats not a question'

I was at the zoo with my grandad, looking at the elephants. I shouted out 'my dads willy is smaller than that' as everyone looked around, my grandad said 'im not his dad'

Jo Potter 31.10.2010 11:48

Re: Cute things kids say
 
A dialouge between my sister (Sydney) and my 8 year old nephew (Jake) .

Sydney: What are you doing in the kitchen, Jake?

Jake: I'm making dinner for you, Mom. You work hard and someone needs to do something nice for you.

Sydney: I think I'm falling in love with you Jake.

Jake: Does this mean you're breaking up with Dad?!


:-D

Longbyt 31.10.2010 11:49

Re: Cute things kids say
 
I can't remember our kids saying cute things.
I can only remember them asking a friend for the telephone number of the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

I can't remember why though and I don't think they can either. They let me take their children out, so whatever it was it can't have been that bad.

beetlenut 31.10.2010 14:30

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 22 yards (Post 996956)
Him: "Please may I need a banana?"

My son says the same thing!! Some more nuggets:
"The cold is coming through the window and colding me!!!"
"There is winter in my nose" (on a walk enjoying the early morning mountain air)

Heather514 31.10.2010 14:56

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Some kids are just born funny- I am convinced of it. My son is hysterical and he's not trying to be funny, it's just the way he sees the world. Some of his gems:

A friend stole food off his plate and he responds with "Stop or I'm gonna fork you!" You can imagine exactly what that sounded like at 3:D

When he is sick he insists that he has "to go blah"

At 2 we were driving on a beautiful day with the windows rolled down. Pulled up to a stop light and saw the people playing tennis at the corner. Just as the light turns green and I step on the gas (and his inborn sense of comedic timing perfectly tuned) he yells "asshole!" I know I should not have laughed, but where the heck did a 2 yr old get the idea to do that?! It's not something he ever got from me or hubby... our 8 yr old has never uttered a curse word much less yelled it out the window of a moving vehicle at people... yes, some people are just born that way :)

cannut 31.10.2010 15:10

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather514 (Post 997292)
Some kids are just born funny- I am convinced of it. My son is hysterical and he's not trying to be funny, it's just the way he sees the world. Some of his gems:

A friend stole food off his plate and he responds with "Stop or I'm gonna fork you!" You can imagine exactly what that sounded like at 3:D

When he is sick he insists that he has "to go blah"

At 2 we were driving on a beautiful day with the windows rolled down. Pulled up to a stop light and saw the people playing tennis at the corner. Just as the light turns green and I step on the gas (and his inborn sense of comedic timing perfectly tuned) he yells "asshole!" I know I should not have laughed, but where the heck did a 2 yr old get the idea to do that?! It's not something he ever got from me or hubby... our 8 yr old has never uttered a curse word much less yelled it out the window of a moving vehicle at people... yes, some people are just born that way :)

Junk the TV :p

MissMelbourne 31.10.2010 15:25

Re: Cute things kids say
 
I remember being about 13 and sitting in the car next to my 4 year old cousin. I had lots of freckles on my face, and at the time was quite self conscious about them.

The aforementioned 4 year old stared at me for a bit, and then asked,


"What are all those dots on your face?"


I remember laughing, but it certainly didn't make me feel any better about my freckly face!

Guest 31.10.2010 15:37

Re: Cute things kids say
 
When I was eight, I was a horrid little show-off. My cousin, three years younger, was anything but.

So there we are, sitting in the back of the car, when little clever-clogs observes that "there are a lot of Georgian houses around here", to which the cousin, without missing a beat, having seen a pub at the side of the road, adds "Yes! And the George an' Dragon!"

Little sod. I never forgave him. :msnshock:

Clarejane 31.10.2010 15:40

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Longbyt (Post 997172)
I can't remember our kids saying cute things.
I can only remember them asking a friend for the telephone number of the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

I can't remember why though and I don't think they can either. They let me take their children out, so whatever it was it can't have been that bad.


Ha ha! Was telling my son off one day, can't remember exactly what he'd done.......so half way through me giving my lecture he promptly reminds me 'careful mum, remember I know the number of Childline'. I immediately hit him over the head with a mallet!:p:D

Guest 31.10.2010 16:10

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Daughter about 18 months old at the time - she is fussing around with her lunch, sitting in high chair. My back to her doing the washing up - and crash - plate and food all over the place. Me, furious 'you did that ON PURPOSE, didn't you!' - she cool as cucumber 'no mummy, not on the purpose - on the floor'. And of course - just had to laugh (well better than the alternative violent option).

Lou 31.10.2010 16:13

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Last week my 4 year old went outside to find it cold & triumphantly declared "I can smell the snow coming".

Tom1234 31.10.2010 16:17

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Our six year old a couple of weeks ago to my wife whilst in the car:

"Mummy, what's that 'L' on the back of that car in front for?"

"Well, it means learner driver. The learner driver isn't allowed to drive a car unless a person who can drive is sitting next to them".

A few moments pondering...

"Mummy, when the car was invented, who taught the first person to drive?"

Janite 31.10.2010 16:35

Re: Cute things kids say
 
My son was 4-5 at the time when we were at my husbands office. The little guy needed to go potty so we went to the restroom which has been obviously used not long before. My son goes in ,takes a whiff of the air and declares in his loudest voice: hmmm, it smells like yummie in here, it smells like hot dogs!

Heather514 31.10.2010 16:37

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cannut (Post 997295)
Junk the TV :p

The most amazing part is they don't watch TV!!!!

Sky 31.10.2010 17:38

Re: Cute things kids say
 
He was just 3, and was waking up from an afternoon snooze at grandma's house, the room was quiet and the curtains were slightly parted.. I tip-toed in to find him bouncing up and down in his crib giggling, gleefully grabbing at the air with both little hands:

Catch me the sun mommy, catch me the sun

Guest 31.10.2010 17:59

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Driving along, some sun rays were coming though the clouds - 3 year old said 'look Mummy, Jesus will be coming soon'. Where on earth she got that from, no idea- not from me that's for sure!

wattsli1 31.10.2010 22:18

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Driving in the car, 4 year old fidgeting with seat belt in the back....

Me: Stop messing about with your seatbelt if we had a crash and it wasn't done up you'd get hurt!
Him: How hurt, hurt like going to the hospital?
Me: Well, yes, could be, and if it was a really bad crash you could be killed!
Him: So, would I be OK then?
Me: Well no. Not if you were killed you wouldn't be.
Him: But Jesus was killed and he was OK afterwards.
Me: Yes, well, you're not Jesus are you - he was the son of God and you're just the son of me and Daddy. Sorry!
Him: Why can't I be the son of God too then?
[silence, given up!]

When he was 2 my son, when he was leaving the room always used to say "I be sick! I be sick!" this worried us quite a bit, until then penny finally dropped that when I left the room I often said to him "I'll just be a sec!"

My favourite recent one from my 3 year old was:
"I love you mummy...... and I love chocolate..... and Buzz Lightyear.... and I suppose Daddy - sometimes - when we play football."

My kids are flippin hilarious - which is a good thing as otherwise I'd have been driven to insanity long ago!

Clarejane 31.10.2010 22:23

Re: Cute things kids say
 
This isn't so much cute but quite funny and a sure fire way of getting some very strange looks from old ladies! When my son was younger he couldn't sound a 'k'. Sooooooo, Kiss became p*ss. Quite hilarious at the looks we used to get when he shouted out, 'Mummy I want a P*ss!.....of course I knew he wanted a kiss but the rest of the shoppers always looked very shocked.

nic80 31.10.2010 22:55

Re: Cute things kids say
 
My 4 year old niece- ‎"Mummy, are you going to put makeup on before you take me to pre-school?"
Her mum- "Yes"
Niece- "Oh, good, thank you."



And a few weeks earlier whilst getting a telling off for putting her pet cat in her Grandmothers china cabinet-
"Mummy, you have cranky eyebrows."

My sister tells me it's almost impossible to reprimand your child when you're laughing :)

oldmanc 31.10.2010 23:39

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Cute?
I'm not sure about this one:

7-year old the day after his first football match back in Manchester:
"Listen Daddy, just tell me the truth, what does f**k really mean?"

Oh dear.

SueCPSmith 01.11.2010 00:06

Re: Cute things kids say
 
I always smile when my son's explanation for being a little nervous is that his tummy feels excited :D

While at the Zoo recently he asked if this creature in the glass house was "a lizard or a comedian".

Keep them coming sweetheart.

CH_Me 01.11.2010 00:25

Re: Cute things kids say
 
The priest at Sunday school was telling the class about the miracle that Jesus had performed when he transformed water into wine when my brother, then around 4 said:

"But that ain't a big miracle. My Dad makes beer, and all he uses is water, hops and yeast"

menace 02.11.2010 19:56

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by oldmanc (Post 997838)
Cute?
I'm not sure about this one:

7-year old the day after his first football match back in Manchester:
"Listen Daddy, just tell me the truth, what does f**k really mean?"

Oh dear.

Funny that, mine never asked what it meant, but at his 5th or 6th match in manchester at four years old, after listening to a tirade of insults and threats, he turned round and said 'You're not allowed to swear if you're not at the football match, are you? I love how he understood context immediately. Very underrated, in my opinion. Context, not my son.

Not a desperate housewife 02.11.2010 20:34

Re: Cute things kids say
 
My son has always been known for calling a spade a spade, to the point where we couldn't let him talk to anyone for quite a while - one example of his brutal honesty when out with his grandparents (they let him talk), sitting outside a shopping centre he was approached by a nice lady who asked him his name, he replied with 'hello you fat old lady'...needless to say his grandparents didn't let him speak to anyone again for some time.

My other memory of cute things from my kids is not a quote, but at an action. My son was nearly two at the time (not the one mentioned above), was woken from his nap to be told his father had an accident in the workshop and had cut his thumb off and was going to hospital in an ambulance - he came out to the ambulance (his father passed out on the ground with us all crowded around him) and tried to administer a Band Aid (sticking plaster) that he'd found in our bathroom. No, he didn't go on to work in a medical field - he's now a carpenter!:)

Nil 02.11.2010 20:55

Re: Cute things kids say
 
My daughter doesn't say much yet. She talks a lot (:eek: hell lot) but not something to understand just yet. What she does that is pretty cute and funny is to smile to everyone next to us in the tram. She wave Bye bye to people out of the tram or in the tram and he sends kisses to old peoples.

Last week it was that very old man who was completely falling for her. She kept smilling, laughing and sending kisses to him. He was in love! He left the tram and stand in front of the closed door to wave Bye bye to her until we went off with the tram. She made his day, if not his week. That was so cute and charming.

She'll break lots of hearts...

JC1 03.11.2010 08:12

Re: Cute things kids say
 
The two-year-old I look after, on being asked whether she would like some salad yesterday (like many of this age she is not keen on fruit, veg and salad!):

I ha gar kei Ziit fur Salat

(I have absolutely no time for salad)

She's rather ahead on talking for her age and comes out with the cutest adult-sounding things!

22 yards 03.11.2010 08:16

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Indeed, life is too short for lettuce. My almost-3-year-old is keen on "trees" (broccoli), however.

Sutter 03.11.2010 08:38

Re: Cute things kids say
 
One Sunday morning my daughter crawled into bed with me for a cuddle (we are big on cuddles) and she said "Mummy do you know what is nicer than cuddling you, or Daddy", and i replied "what princess", and she said "nothing"

Evolver 03.11.2010 09:29

Re: Cute things kids say
 
Sitting in a restaurant having some ice cream with my son who was 2 at the time. The owner of the restaurant is on a tour through the restaurant asking everyone if everything is okay. She's wearing a trouser suit and has a typical swiss women's haircut (short). As she aproaches our table my son points at her and shouts: "THAT'S A MAN!". :D

Mélusine 03.11.2010 09:57

Re: Cute things kids say
 
My son, 4 years old, is quite interested in the concept of death, and when it's going to happen.

Since he was asking me quite regularly if I was going to die today (freaky question, let me tell you), I told him that we die when we are very old.

At the park, he went to sit on a bench next to a very old lady. And immediately began to chat with her: "you are so old, why aren't you dead yet???" I was ready to swear I didn't know him... :) :) :)

Guest 03.11.2010 10:03

Re: Cute things kids say
 
We're trying to get our two year old to recognise and tell us when he's filled his nappy.

The question we ask is, "Have you done a poo-poo?"

Sometimes he says "yes!", sometimes he says "no!", the other day he furrowed his brow, thought about it a bit and said, "Maybe!"

Cheers

Jim


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 21:12.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0