Sorry if this turns into a parental self-serving aren't-my-kids-the-greatest kinda thread, but ... well, isn't every parent's kid the greatest?
Mine is about to turn three and has had me rolling in the aisles with some of the things he's been saying recently.
Him: "I need a banana!" Me: "Darling ... we talked about this before. 'Please may I ...'." Him: "Please may I need a banana?"
And today, reinforcing the fact that the letter 'Y' is the most commonly used letter in a toddler's vocabulary:
Me: "I'm just cooking dinner, darling, won't be long." Him: "Why?" Me: "Well, we're hungry, aren't we, and we need to eat." Him: "Why?" Me: "If we eat dinner, we won't be hungry any more." Him: "Yes. Why?" (for a bit of variety) Me: (launching into technical discourse in the hope of throwing the little limpet off) "Filling the stomach with food triggers nervous impulses which act to satiate the brain's blah blah blah blah so you don't feel hungry any more. And you get nutrients to make you grow big and strong." Him: "Why?" Me: "Look, kiddo, not everything needs to be explained. Ummmm ... what's your name?" Him: [Says his name, and spells it for good measure.] (Oh yeah, he's a genius, all right.) Me: (fatal mistake -- I should have left it at that, when I broke the chain) "That's right! And that's not something you can explain, is it?" Him: (looks thoughtful, then nods) "No. Why?"
Here's something from YouTube (never try to ascertain your child's feelings for you in the presence or otherwise of food). More than 56 million people now know what this 3-year-old thinks of his mother.
Do you have any gems from your offspring that you can share here?
Last edited by Guest; 22.11.2010 at 12:21.
Reason: Typo
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Gems,Cute my a$$; Sitting Beside my grand son, when he was about 2 1/2,on the way home from Toronto.In a very sweet voice"Grandpa"-"Yes"-"You stupid" Grrrrrrrr no more "B" day present for the next 10 years
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When we first moved here my husband went for a jog by the lake. It was dusk so he couldn't see very well. He almost ran into 2 people getting out of the lake......they were starkers.
He was relating the story to a friend when our son pipes in "Did you tickle them?"
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This is a friends story, about the time he went swimming with his daughter. Afterwards, in the change rooms, his daughter was chatting to a little friend she'd just made and it's father, who happened to be getting changed at the time. When friends daughter saw new friends father in the all-together, she piped up with, "My Daddy's got a big penis too.......... show them Daddy". As a look of dread, shame, but at the same time deep understanding, passed between the two men, my friend had to whip his out to have it scrutinised by (by now) the whole change room to see if it was in fact bigger. He never told me who "won", and these men now avoid eye contact whenever possible.
__________________ Shark wisdom: A swimmer in the sea is worth ten on the beach.
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This is a friends story, about the time he went swimming with his daughter. Afterwards, in the change rooms, his daughter was chatting to a little friend she'd just made and it's father, who happened to be getting changed at the time. When friends daughter saw new friends father in the all-together, she piped up with, "My Daddy's got a big penis too.......... show them Daddy". As a look of dread, shame, but at the same time deep understanding, passed between the two men, my friend had to whip his out to have it scrutinised by (by now) the whole change room to see if it was in fact bigger. He never told me who "won", and these men now avoid eye contact whenever possible.
I have always thought little girls shouldn't see their father naked because it can be traumatising for them.
Now I am persuaded that they shouldn't because it can be traumatising for their father.
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We tried desperately to get our 4 year old to give up his pacifier. Nothing worked.
One morning he was looking in the mirror, pacifier and all, ready to go.
His dad was just behind him, putting on his jacket ready for work.
I said to him:
- Aren't you missing something ? (as in: we have a deal lil'buddy, no more pacifier....)
With out missing a beat, he looked at me, then at his dad and back at me and answered:
- a tie perhaps ?
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Driving my oldest, who was 3 years old at the time, home from nursery one night he proceeded to tell me the is a bad word & we should not say . Of course being 3 he said it again & again to the point I was almost crying with laughter.
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I could go on for ever, but it would probably only be interesting to me. Ah well, in for a penny and all that, never stopped me before. Lets be aussie about it.
In answer to the perpetual 'why', question, 'why not?' a moments consideration from ny son, then 'thats not a question'
I was at the zoo with my grandad, looking at the elephants. I shouted out 'my dads willy is smaller than that' as everyone looked around, my grandad said 'im not his dad'
Last edited by menace; 31.10.2010 at 12:42.
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I can't remember our kids saying cute things.
I can only remember them asking a friend for the telephone number of the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.
I can't remember why though and I don't think they can either. They let me take their children out, so whatever it was it can't have been that bad.
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My son says the same thing!! Some more nuggets:
"The cold is coming through the window and colding me!!!"
"There is winter in my nose" (on a walk enjoying the early morning mountain air)
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Some kids are just born funny- I am convinced of it. My son is hysterical and he's not trying to be funny, it's just the way he sees the world. Some of his gems:
A friend stole food off his plate and he responds with "Stop or I'm gonna fork you!" You can imagine exactly what that sounded like at 3
When he is sick he insists that he has "to go blah"
At 2 we were driving on a beautiful day with the windows rolled down. Pulled up to a stop light and saw the people playing tennis at the corner. Just as the light turns green and I step on the gas (and his inborn sense of comedic timing perfectly tuned) he yells "asshole!" I know I should not have laughed, but where the heck did a 2 yr old get the idea to do that?! It's not something he ever got from me or hubby... our 8 yr old has never uttered a curse word much less yelled it out the window of a moving vehicle at people... yes, some people are just born that way
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Some kids are just born funny- I am convinced of it. My son is hysterical and he's not trying to be funny, it's just the way he sees the world. Some of his gems:
A friend stole food off his plate and he responds with "Stop or I'm gonna fork you!" You can imagine exactly what that sounded like at 3
When he is sick he insists that he has "to go blah"
At 2 we were driving on a beautiful day with the windows rolled down. Pulled up to a stop light and saw the people playing tennis at the corner. Just as the light turns green and I step on the gas (and his inborn sense of comedic timing perfectly tuned) he yells "asshole!" I know I should not have laughed, but where the heck did a 2 yr old get the idea to do that?! It's not something he ever got from me or hubby... our 8 yr old has never uttered a curse word much less yelled it out the window of a moving vehicle at people... yes, some people are just born that way
Junk the TV
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I remember being about 13 and sitting in the car next to my 4 year old cousin. I had lots of freckles on my face, and at the time was quite self conscious about them.
The aforementioned 4 year old stared at me for a bit, and then asked,
"What are all those dots on your face?"
I remember laughing, but it certainly didn't make me feel any better about my freckly face!
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When I was eight, I was a horrid little show-off. My cousin, three years younger, was anything but.
So there we are, sitting in the back of the car, when little clever-clogs observes that "there are a lot of Georgian houses around here", to which the cousin, without missing a beat, having seen a pub at the side of the road, adds "Yes! And the George an' Dragon!"
Little sod. I never forgave him.
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I can't remember our kids saying cute things.
I can only remember them asking a friend for the telephone number of the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.
I can't remember why though and I don't think they can either. They let me take their children out, so whatever it was it can't have been that bad.
Ha ha! Was telling my son off one day, can't remember exactly what he'd done.......so half way through me giving my lecture he promptly reminds me 'careful mum, remember I know the number of Childline'. I immediately hit him over the head with a mallet!
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Daughter about 18 months old at the time - she is fussing around with her lunch, sitting in high chair. My back to her doing the washing up - and crash - plate and food all over the place. Me, furious 'you did that ON PURPOSE, didn't you!' - she cool as cucumber 'no mummy, not on the purpose - on the floor'. And of course - just had to laugh (well better than the alternative violent option).
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Grrrrrrrr no more "B" day present for the next 10 years
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