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Old 31.10.2010, 02:41
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Cute things kids say

Sorry if this turns into a parental self-serving aren't-my-kids-the-greatest kinda thread, but ... well, isn't every parent's kid the greatest?

Mine is about to turn three and has had me rolling in the aisles with some of the things he's been saying recently.

Him: "I need a banana!"
Me: "Darling ... we talked about this before. 'Please may I ...'."
Him: "Please may I need a banana?"

And today, reinforcing the fact that the letter 'Y' is the most commonly used letter in a toddler's vocabulary:

Me: "I'm just cooking dinner, darling, won't be long."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Well, we're hungry, aren't we, and we need to eat."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "If we eat dinner, we won't be hungry any more."
Him: "Yes. Why?" (for a bit of variety)
Me: (launching into technical discourse in the hope of throwing the little limpet off) "Filling the stomach with food triggers nervous impulses which act to satiate the brain's blah blah blah blah so you don't feel hungry any more. And you get nutrients to make you grow big and strong."
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Look, kiddo, not everything needs to be explained. Ummmm ... what's your name?"
Him: [Says his name, and spells it for good measure.] (Oh yeah, he's a genius, all right.)
Me: (fatal mistake -- I should have left it at that, when I broke the chain) "That's right! And that's not something you can explain, is it?"
Him: (looks thoughtful, then nods) "No. Why?"

Here's something from YouTube (never try to ascertain your child's feelings for you in the presence or otherwise of food). More than 56 million people now know what this 3-year-old thinks of his mother.



Do you have any gems from your offspring that you can share here?

Last edited by 22 yards; 22.11.2010 at 13:21. Reason: Typo
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Old 31.10.2010, 03:07
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Re: Cute things kids say

Gems,Cute my a$$; Sitting Beside my grand son, when he was about 2 1/2,on the way home from Toronto.In a very sweet voice"Grandpa"-"Yes"-"You stupid" Grrrrrrrr no more "B" day present for the next 10 years
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Old 31.10.2010, 08:51
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Re: Cute things kids say

we played monopoly with my 4 year old son. On TV they showed models in lingerie. He said:" Dad I like these ladies with tits. These looks delicious"
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Old 31.10.2010, 09:09
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Re: Cute things kids say

When we first moved here my husband went for a jog by the lake. It was dusk so he couldn't see very well. He almost ran into 2 people getting out of the lake......they were starkers.

He was relating the story to a friend when our son pipes in "Did you tickle them?"
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Old 31.10.2010, 09:25
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Re: Cute things kids say

This is a friends story, about the time he went swimming with his daughter. Afterwards, in the change rooms, his daughter was chatting to a little friend she'd just made and it's father, who happened to be getting changed at the time. When friends daughter saw new friends father in the all-together, she piped up with, "My Daddy's got a big penis too.......... show them Daddy". As a look of dread, shame, but at the same time deep understanding, passed between the two men, my friend had to whip his out to have it scrutinised by (by now) the whole change room to see if it was in fact bigger. He never told me who "won", and these men now avoid eye contact whenever possible.
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Old 31.10.2010, 09:34
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Re: Cute things kids say

I loved my daughter's first Christmas carol back when she was about 3 years old, it went like this:


We wish you a Merry Christmas,

We wish you a Merry Christmas,

We wish you a Merry Christmas..

And a Happy New You..



.
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Old 31.10.2010, 11:13
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Re: Cute things kids say

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This is a friends story, about the time he went swimming with his daughter. Afterwards, in the change rooms, his daughter was chatting to a little friend she'd just made and it's father, who happened to be getting changed at the time. When friends daughter saw new friends father in the all-together, she piped up with, "My Daddy's got a big penis too.......... show them Daddy". As a look of dread, shame, but at the same time deep understanding, passed between the two men, my friend had to whip his out to have it scrutinised by (by now) the whole change room to see if it was in fact bigger. He never told me who "won", and these men now avoid eye contact whenever possible.
I have always thought little girls shouldn't see their father naked because it can be traumatising for them.

Now I am persuaded that they shouldn't because it can be traumatising for their father.
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Old 25.03.2012, 22:24
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Re: Cute things kids say

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we played monopoly with my 4 year old son. On TV they showed models in lingerie. He said:" Dad I like these ladies with tits. These looks delicious"
One occasion we past the brothel, around Geneva and my son saw the girls wearing sexy clothes(almost show 95% of her tits... He says that's cool!
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Old 26.03.2012, 08:24
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Re: Cute things kids say

When my dad died, My little girl said " Grandads gone to Kevin "
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Old 26.03.2012, 11:42
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Re: Cute things kids say

<Picks up book>
Can we read this book? It's called "The Horsey and the Little Baby"
<Hands over "The Nativity">
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Old 31.10.2010, 15:30
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Re: Cute things kids say

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Him: "Please may I need a banana?"
My son says the same thing!! Some more nuggets:
"The cold is coming through the window and colding me!!!"
"There is winter in my nose" (on a walk enjoying the early morning mountain air)
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Old 31.10.2010, 15:56
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Re: Cute things kids say

Some kids are just born funny- I am convinced of it. My son is hysterical and he's not trying to be funny, it's just the way he sees the world. Some of his gems:

A friend stole food off his plate and he responds with "Stop or I'm gonna fork you!" You can imagine exactly what that sounded like at 3

When he is sick he insists that he has "to go blah"

At 2 we were driving on a beautiful day with the windows rolled down. Pulled up to a stop light and saw the people playing tennis at the corner. Just as the light turns green and I step on the gas (and his inborn sense of comedic timing perfectly tuned) he yells "asshole!" I know I should not have laughed, but where the heck did a 2 yr old get the idea to do that?! It's not something he ever got from me or hubby... our 8 yr old has never uttered a curse word much less yelled it out the window of a moving vehicle at people... yes, some people are just born that way
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Old 31.10.2010, 16:10
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Re: Cute things kids say

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Some kids are just born funny- I am convinced of it. My son is hysterical and he's not trying to be funny, it's just the way he sees the world. Some of his gems:

A friend stole food off his plate and he responds with "Stop or I'm gonna fork you!" You can imagine exactly what that sounded like at 3

When he is sick he insists that he has "to go blah"

At 2 we were driving on a beautiful day with the windows rolled down. Pulled up to a stop light and saw the people playing tennis at the corner. Just as the light turns green and I step on the gas (and his inborn sense of comedic timing perfectly tuned) he yells "asshole!" I know I should not have laughed, but where the heck did a 2 yr old get the idea to do that?! It's not something he ever got from me or hubby... our 8 yr old has never uttered a curse word much less yelled it out the window of a moving vehicle at people... yes, some people are just born that way
Junk the TV
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Old 31.10.2010, 16:25
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Re: Cute things kids say

I remember being about 13 and sitting in the car next to my 4 year old cousin. I had lots of freckles on my face, and at the time was quite self conscious about them.

The aforementioned 4 year old stared at me for a bit, and then asked,


"What are all those dots on your face?"


I remember laughing, but it certainly didn't make me feel any better about my freckly face!
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Old 31.10.2010, 16:37
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Re: Cute things kids say

When I was eight, I was a horrid little show-off. My cousin, three years younger, was anything but.

So there we are, sitting in the back of the car, when little clever-clogs observes that "there are a lot of Georgian houses around here", to which the cousin, without missing a beat, having seen a pub at the side of the road, adds "Yes! And the George an' Dragon!"

Little sod. I never forgave him.
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Old 31.10.2010, 17:37
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Re: Cute things kids say

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Junk the TV
The most amazing part is they don't watch TV!!!!
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Old 31.10.2010, 18:38
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Re: Cute things kids say

He was just 3, and was waking up from an afternoon snooze at grandma's house, the room was quiet and the curtains were slightly parted.. I tip-toed in to find him bouncing up and down in his crib giggling, gleefully grabbing at the air with both little hands:

Catch me the sun mommy, catch me the sun
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Old 08.11.2010, 18:16
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Re: Cute things kids say

I can remember being about 12 or so, and we’d started to do Sex education in class. For homework we had to draw and name the female reproductive system. Feeling quite grown up that I was doing homework that involved “sex education” I showed my younger sister what I was doing. She was reading all the words and wanted to know why the word “vagina” was on our corner sweet shop’s window when it was the proper name for a ladies doodad. “What do you mean?” I asked her, and she said that on the window in big letters was “Golden Vagina” ......took me a minute to realise she was referring to the “Golden Virginia” tobacco advert !!
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Old 09.11.2010, 11:53
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Re: Cute things kids say

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Son, 4 years, colored a Clown in his colouring book with very dark colours, brings it to me and says-- "It's Obama".
Does he like tea?

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The two-year-old I llok after loves learning new things to say but doesn't always get them right. This morning: Achtung, Fertig, Lustig. (Ready, steady, funny)
No no, he's got it right, all right.

My youngest, when he was about two and on the nus regularly taking his big brother to school, used to great especially fat people on the bus with "have you got a baby in there?" or "you've got big boobies" or "there's not enough room for you and him on that seat"
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Old 11.11.2010, 02:45
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Re: Cute things kids say

At dinner tonight:

My son (3 in a few days), eating steak, sausages, potatoes and peas: "May I please have Vegemite?"
Me: "Sorry, darling, we don't have any. But thank you for saying please."
Him: "I love Vegemite."
Me: "Mmmm." (Can't stand the stuff, myself.) "Well, I love something even more than Vegemite. Can you guess what it is?"
Him: "Meeeeeee!!!"
Me: "Yes! That's right! You're my favourite son in the whole world!" Then, shamelessly seizing the opportunity, "What do you love most in the whole world?"
Him: "Milk!"

Oh.
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