Do not forget to factor in the charges from the paket shops in Germany. Fees for large bulky items taking up more than one pallet can start to add up. The seller should inform you when bulky items are involved just so that you are forewarned.

25,- Euro per day per pallet place of 130x90cm or boxes longer than 3 meters and/or above 40KG

Yes, No,no, no.

In a B2C transaction VAT is paid by the seller. Please see §13a of the German UStG https://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/ustg_1980/__13a.html

The seller does not have to pay VAT if it is an export delivery/ Ausfuhrlieferung. Please see §4 Absatz 1 https://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/ustg_1980/__4.html and §6 Absatz 3a https://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/ustg_1980/__6.html as furniture is not an good " to equip or supply a means of transport" the exemption of Absatz 3a as noted in Absatz 3 does not apply.

The seller will need a proof that the item has been actually exported. This is defined in §§8 - 17 UStDV. In particular §9 https://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/ustdv_1980/__9.html and 17 UStDV is relevant https://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/ustdv_1980/__17.html if them items are exported by the costumer themselves.

Once the seller has the proof of the export, they can reimburse the VAT.

Been there done that many times. Not as a seller but as a buyer.

Now, there was a short period of confusion in Fall 2015 as the German Custom had a similar views as yours. During this short period German customs did not stamp the relevant paper if the items were shipped to a German address first. But in the end also the German Bundesfinanzdirektion came to it senses:
https://www.tagblatt.ch/wirtschaft/d...eder-ld.927755

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