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  #41  
Old 31.10.2012, 13:57
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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What's an expresso?

The French equivalent of an espresso which, no doubt, they drink in Alsace.
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  #42  
Old 31.10.2012, 14:08
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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When we're at it, can we please standardize wine names? No more fancy-schmancy unpronounceable French naming. "Would you prefer Merlot Chateau de Haupt-Novryignon-Sur-Saine, 2008; or perhaps you'd rather have Medoc avec Pepe-le-Pew-Bourgogne, 1984?"

Gimme a break! Can this be only red or white, please? And "rose", which is reserved for snobbes, btw, would become "diluted red wine"
Not to go TOO far off-topic

Because some wines happen to look the same, doesn't mean they taste the same, at all.

Also, I wouldn't characterize rosť as for snobs... Maybe college-aged girls who want to "drink wine" but don't want to "taste too much alcohol."
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  #43  
Old 31.10.2012, 14:09
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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What's an expresso?

A dumbed-down espresso, of course This was a UK menu we were talking about, remember, and I doubt that many people there spell it, or indeed even pronounce it, correctly.
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  #44  
Old 31.10.2012, 14:10
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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When we're at it, can we please standardize wine names? No more fancy-schmancy unpronounceable French naming. "Would you prefer Merlot Chateau de Haupt-Novryignon-Sur-Saine, 2008; or perhaps you'd rather have Medoc avec Pepe-le-Pew-Bourgogne, 1984?"
This would never happen. No one drinks Merlot these days.
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Old 31.10.2012, 14:13
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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A dumbed-down espresso, of course This was a UK menu we were talking about, remember, and I doubt that many people there spell it, or indeed even pronounce it, correctly.
Why should they pronounce it "correctly"?

They're English. They should pronounce it in an English manner when talking to other English speakers, unless they are speaking in Italian.

"Expresso", therefore, is no more ridiculous than "espresso". They're both foreign loan words used, half the time, for effect.
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  #46  
Old 31.10.2012, 14:21
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

This whole idea is ridiculous.

Cue the end of the baguette in Britain (and, for that matter, Pret a Manger). May as well ban veal, pork and beef, too, they're French imports as well. Don't even try the vegetarian route -- courgette and aubergine are out.

Farewell, vindaloo, you're off the menu, you're "too difficult to understand", and forget about replacing that curry with a quick kebab after the pub closes.

It looks like the only culinary option for the xenophobic Brits will be fish 'n' chips ... while cod stocks last.
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Old 31.10.2012, 14:30
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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This whole idea is ridiculous.

Cue the end of the baguette in Britain (and, for that matter, Pret a Manger). May as well ban veal, pork and beef, too, they're French imports as well. Don't even try the vegetarian route -- courgette and aubergine are out.

Farewell, vindaloo, you're off the menu, you're "too difficult to understand", and forget about replacing that curry with a quick kebab after the pub closes.

It looks like the only culinary option for the xenophobic Brits will be fish 'n' chips ... while cod stocks last.
There will still be plenty of cafes selling coffee with fancy Italian names (which may, or - more likely - may not, bear any resemblance to their equivalents in Italian cafes), it's just that this one company, which clearly knows its customers better than anyone else, has decided to do away with them as superfluous and confusing.

The core of this problem is that very few of the cafes which use complicated Italianeseque terminology in their menus actually have anything to do with Italy or Italian coffee. They are almost all nasty chains built on an American college-town model where image is everything and quality is irrelevant.

I used to live in a little town where there was a fantastic little cafe run by an Italian chap who'd lived there since the 50s. His coffee was excellent, and if you ordered an espresso, you knew you'd be getting an espresso. Unfortunately, his cafe was overlooked in favour of Costa Coffee and Starbucks and all the other horrible chains selling Venti Tutti Frutti Uanchi Lattes, and eventually he went out of business.

If only all the We're-English-but-we're-going-to-pretend-to-be-italian-because-it's-cool cafes would be as honest as Debenhams. Then the real Italian cafes might still be in with a chance.
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Old 31.10.2012, 14:40
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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The French equivalent of an espresso which, no doubt, they drink in Alsace.
Thanks for translating!
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  #49  
Old 31.10.2012, 14:43
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...ky-coffee.html

Seriously. If you can't cope with ordering an 'espresso' or 'cappuccino', you really should stick to drinking tea.
Finally a coffee shop that's getting it. I used to work for Starbucks, different department, but we'd frequent the shops. My friends and I would chuckle when Seattleites would order stuff like...

Double shot decaf mocha machiatto grande light no whip double cup with room.

And when we'd order a plain cup of coffee it was "what kind, anything in it, is that all?" Sheeze, just gimme a plain cup of coffee, black!..."What size? Tall or Grande?" ARGH... Tall? Tall is small? WT....

Today I just stick with "Expresso, bitte." Much simpler.
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Old 31.10.2012, 14:50
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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Today I just stick with "Expresso, bitte." Much simpler.
Today, in Starbucks, not more than 20 min ago: ein kleine cappucino zum mitnemen." No problem. What's the point you were making?
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  #51  
Old 31.10.2012, 14:54
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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Really really milky coffee? Is this a coffee-based drink, like the French cafe-au-lait? Or is this an espresso-based drink, like a cafe latte? The attempt to dumb it down has actually made it more confusing.
At what point did we lose control over the amount of milk we're allowed to put into a coffee outside of the official coffee snob approved ratios? what if I don't want it 1:1, or 1:1:1 or whatever? What if I want it 1.32215:2.743211. I can handle it for my tea, I don't see why some coffee hipster should dictate to me how much milk I can have and the special special little code words I have to use. More confusing??? far from it, your explanation just about sums it up with 2 coffees, neither of which is understandable to someone who wants a coffee with milk.
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Old 31.10.2012, 14:58
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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Venti Tutti Frutti Uanchi Lattes
That sounds lovely! Is there wifi there so I can surf Facebook and avoid talking to people in real life? This is just like staying at home, but I can wave my iPad around and impress other people. Who also all have iPads. Hmm. I'll get a very expensive case and impress them with that instead.

Disclaimer: I don't actually have an iPad
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  #53  
Old 31.10.2012, 15:04
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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Today, in Starbucks, not more than 20 min ago: ein kleine cappucino zum mitnemen." No problem. What's the point you were making?
None really, my 2 cents and an observation.
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Old 31.10.2012, 15:09
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

I'm guessing that this guy won't be welcome at Debenham's...

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Old 31.10.2012, 15:15
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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Today, in Starbucks, not more than 20 min ago: ein kleine cappucino zum mitnemen." No problem.
There is a big problem here in gender. Should be eine kleine capuccino. Capuccino is a lady!
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  #56  
Old 31.10.2012, 15:18
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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There is a big problem here in gender. Should be eine kleine capuccino. Capuccino is a lady!
I nearly put in a disclaimer about the language... nonetheless, I still got what I wanted.

Out of curriosity, what genders are espresso and latte macchiato?

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At what point did we lose control over the amount of milk we're allowed to put into a coffee outside of the official coffee snob approved ratios? what if I don't want it 1:1, or 1:1:1 or whatever? What if I want it 1.32215:2.743211. I can handle it for my tea, I don't see why some coffee hipster should dictate to me how much milk I can have and the special special little code words I have to use. More confusing??? far from it, your explanation just about sums it up with 2 coffees, neither of which is understandable to someone who wants a coffee with milk.
Cyrus - you seem to be taking this very personally and reacting as strongly as the coffee snobs you so despise.

If you want it 1.32215:2.743211, then you'll probably have to make it at home... or in the lab... I doubt Debenham's will manage it.
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Old 31.10.2012, 15:28
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

I have not found anything even remotely resembling a real cappucino in Switzerland.
However, I have found places that have somehow trained cats to urinate into coffee cups.
The kicker is the Swiss then have the temerity to slug you 4 choofers for the pleasure.
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Old 31.10.2012, 15:29
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

Although you can order it in a stupid crazy language, you can also use plain English at Starbucks to explain exactly what you want.

Want it stronger? Ask for an extra shot of espresso. Or just say you want it stronger. Those of you rebeling against the use of the word "espresso" don't need to use it if you don't want.

Want less milk? Say so. More? Say so. Frothy? No froth? Extra froth? Extra hot? Say so. Skimmed milk? Soy milk? Say so.

"Grande latte extra shot wet" is their lingo for "Medium sized coffee, extra strong, no froth on my milk please". They'll understand both, although without using the buzz words they may offer you the choice of an espresso based drink or a filter coffee based drink. You pick.
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Old 31.10.2012, 15:34
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

I am always happy to bash the Eyeties but in this case the Italian nomenclature is the way to go. Cappuccino, doppio, espresso, affogato etc are used throughout the continent of Australia. No confusion from Sydney to Pert, from Adelaide to Darwin. Even the tasmanians understand it.

In parts of Europe, I have ordered cappuccino only for some plonker to deliver a mug of diff oil topped with a mountain of whipped cream.
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Old 31.10.2012, 15:34
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Re: Dumbing down coffee

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Tea, pint pot, six with milk please.

Simple enough really.




* No need to mention strong or hot. It's obvious, innit.
And black.
Number of times someone asks me for tea here, and I get them an English Breakfast and they look at me like I'm insane. Obviously tea here means fruit/herbs, and has NOTHING to do with the tea plant.
If you want a green tea, or a raspberry tea ask for one. If you ask for tea, you'll get tea.

As for coffee shops and the like, I've always hated the tall, grande, vente / large, extra large, family thing. If there are three sizes, the smallest is small the largest in large and the middle one is medium.
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