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  #41  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:21
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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Yes, of course trees do (I've never understood that)

I considered it, but I don't groan

Don't you always consider if what you post is offensive? I do...its just normal filter behaviour for social interaction, no?
What I see here is that you applied filters when reading the post. Isn't this what the thread is about in the end?
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  #42  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:24
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

As a non native English speaker, the word retard for me is the same as crazy or stupid so calling a post of mine retarded wouldn't offend me.

As a big fan of gay rights it would offend me if people would use the word gay in the wrong way....

But I don't think it is doable, on a big public forum like this, to get every poster to follow some kind of etiquette concerning offense words and the use of them.
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  #43  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:27
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

I'm sometimes called a 'stupid old fool' which, to me, isn't too far away from being called a 'retard'. Neither shock me, but neither are polite.
Many people on the EF are using English as a second language, and possibly don't always understand the nuances of the English language.
I frequently say 'oh my god', which doesn't seem to shock people but, when I said 'nom de dieu' in conversation with a group of French speakers, they were totally shocked. I simply cannot see the difference.
I'm sometimes shocked by all the sexual chit-chat on the EF, but put it down to being the age I am and just accept it (accepting old-age is a bit more difficult)
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  #44  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:28
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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As a non native English speaker, the word retard for me is the same as crazy or stupid so calling a post of mine retarded wouldn't offend me.

As a big fan of gay rights it would offend me if people would use the word gay in the wrong way....

But I don't think it is doable, on a big public forum like this, to get every poster to follow some kind of etiquette concerning offense words and the use of them.
That brings another point on the subject. I thought the true meaning of gay was happy,good natured. If we consider the wrong use of the word, which has been adopted to mean something else, what does that mean
Im totally confused, i think i will have to go and have a lie down....
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  #45  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:29
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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What I see here is that you applied filters when reading the post. Isn't this what the thread is about in the end?
No, I exercised "thread management" and decided not to chase you down that rabbit hole to try to keep the thread vaguely towards the bigger point.

But since you are so proud of it....I have to say that I found it offensive, lazy, predictable, not funny and WAY below the high standards that you always display on your posts here. But me exercising my public restraint of saying that doesn't mean I found it OK.

And THAT....is what the thread is about in the end. When should we exercise restraint and when and how to express it
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  #46  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:31
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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That brings another point on the subject. I thought the true meaning of gay was happy,good natured. If we consider the wrong use of the word, which has been adopted to mean something else, what does that mean
homosexual
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  #47  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:32
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

Not to get sucked into the fray, but there IS a linguistic side to this - since I know the offender is of the same age range and had similar inputs due to geography and probably economic status, the world 'retard' really was used rather frequently as a substitute for stupid. Douchebag, too, was very common, but mostly in the midwest. Especially when these sorts of uses get ingrained during our formative years, they stick.

So, I think you have to consider the CONTEXT in which a word is used to appropriately asses the offense. I don't think the poster was using the word in an offensive context, mostly a grade school context which is I think fine.

I don't get offended when, in my cookbooks, the word 'retard' both in verb and adjective form is used frequently in regard to bread. My bagels are retarded, I must now go bake them.

I have to say, I try to choose words carefully and I wouldn't have ever seen that one coming...
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  #48  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:37
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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Not to get sucked into the fray, but there IS a linguistic side to this - since I know the offender is of the same age range and had similar inputs due to geography and probably economic status, the world 'retard' really was used rather frequently as a substitute for stupid. Douchebag, too, was very common, but mostly in the midwest. Especially when these sorts of uses get ingrained during our formative years, they stick.

So, I think you have to consider the CONTEXT in which a word is used to appropriately asses the offense. I don't think the poster was using the word in an offensive context, mostly a grade school context which is I think fine.

I don't get offended when, in my cookbooks, the word 'retard' both in verb and adjective form is used frequently in regard to bread. My bagels are retarded, I must now go bake them.

I have to say, I try to choose words carefully and I wouldn't have ever seen that one coming...
Good post and I suspected as such. But.....would you rather posters here said "hey, in some cultures, these words are offensive" so you would know for the future, or would you rather they stayed silent?
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  #49  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:38
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

Well well well. The sharper eyed among you will have noticed a post here which was subsequently deleted and the user banned. The forum does have linguistic limits, whether it's about quality of language or about tone or about the actual words. And it's for the mods to decide where that limit is.

With the realisation that many people will be offended by a wide variety of different words, we tend to act on situations where offence is intended and that's a judgement call. If you are offended personally by something you can report it to a mod, put the offender on your ignore list, not use the EF any more, or pretend this is real life and change the channel.
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  #50  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:39
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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That brings another point on the subject. I thought the true meaning of gay was happy,good natured. If we consider the wrong use of the word, which has been adopted to mean something else, what does that mean
Im totally confused, i think i will have to go and have a lie down....

gay orinally meant happy

then gay meant homosexual

now gay can mean crap (normally pronounced/spelt ghey)


A useful tool is The Urban Dictionary

Example: GAY

Example: GHEY

cheers
SC
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Old 30.09.2011, 10:39
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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retard, retard....
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Well....I actually didn't really want to talk about any particular word....but I am struggling, Canute-like, to keep the thread to the principle instead of the specific

I'm about to give up
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the world 'retard'
Wait a minute..are you talking about my post? (I did mention retarded yesterday pertaining to restictive opening hours.)
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  #52  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:41
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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Good post and I suspected as such. But.....would you rather posters here said "hey, in some cultures, these words are offensive" so you would know for the future, or would you rather they stayed silent?
But with a forum with so many multi nationals , how will that work? If everyone responds on for them offensive words/posts and kind of expects the poster to refrain from using said word in the future there will be a huge list of nono's and I think the quality and quantity of the posts will go down.
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  #53  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:42
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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Wait a minute..are you talking about my post? (I did mention retarded yesterday pertaining to restictive opening hours.)
I honestly have no idea. Apart from that word being the catalyst for this thread
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  #54  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:43
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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gay orinally meant happy

then gay meant homosexual

now gay can mean crap (normally pronounced/spelt ghey)


A useful tool is The Urban Dictionary

Example: GAY

Example: GHEY

cheers
SC
i think thats gay (or is it ghey?)
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Old 30.09.2011, 10:44
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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If you are offended personally by something you can report it to a mod, put the offender on your ignore list, not use the EF any more, or pretend this is real life and change the channel.
Or speak up and say you find something offensive or insulting. Or send a polite PM to the poster.
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  #56  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:46
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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You didn't really answer the question. If I or you find a word offensive, what should we do? Ignore it, i guess is what you're saying?

And what about if you use a word i find offensive and tell you? You ignore it too?
ignore it or challenge the person.

alternatively, use the word more yourself - only be increasingly normalised usage does it become normal and inoffensive.
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  #57  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:46
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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it's down to the reader to use their inbuilt filters.

FWIW, a retard for me is a stupid person and not anyone with a mental issue.
Ah, but there's the rub - it isn't necessarily about what you think a word means, but rather what it really means, its origins and what everyone else knows it means...

An extreme example, I know, but to use your logic - I could say any word e.g. moon instead of sun, because that's what it is for me...

Sure "retard" is used in slang, but as a derogatory term for someone who resembles, yes, you guessed it, a retarded person (aka someone who is slow and has developmental delays), i.e. medically sick.

Accurate for the person in question? Maybe.

Kind word to use? No.

Offensive? Probably - actually yes, otherwise why use it? - especially for someone who may have a retarded child or relative.
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  #58  
Old 30.09.2011, 10:53
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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Good post and I suspected as such. But.....would you rather posters here said "hey, in some cultures, these words are offensive" so you would know for the future, or would you rather they stayed silent?
Point taken, though I was trying to suggest that, at least in 1960s/1970s America, the usage (at least in this particular example) was common and still gets used by those of a certain age though it has fallen out of favor because some do find it offensive. I do think the tone and context have to be taken into consideration as it's difficult to find words these days that are totally unoffensive to all people and, so, I think that should be a guiding force as to whether or not to take offense. But educating those on their potential offensive alternate meanings is not a bad thing either.
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Old 30.09.2011, 10:55
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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Sorry its a bit early for me


It depends, if you dropped the 'N-bomb' without good reason (yes there are circumstances where it can be used) i would hit u up with red blobs and then just move on with my life without losing any sleep.

If Ouchboy posts (on the PS3 thread): 'dont buy MW3 the enemy AI is ghey'........(not that he would because MW3 will be amazing lol).....i would not start crying or post that he is being homophobic. I would just not buy the game. The same would apply if he used 'retarded' instead of 'ghey'.

cheers
SC
love the definition on UD:

postmodern redevelopment of the word "gay" - it now implies all the formerly offensive stereotypes of uselessness / weakness then associated with effeminate homosexual men in 1970's sitcoms, whilst carrying with it no actual implied sexuality connotations.
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Old 30.09.2011, 10:58
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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retard, retard....






Don't use the "R" Word, it's totally ghey....
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