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Old 30.09.2011, 09:00
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EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

There was a post last night in which somebody I usually respect used a word I find offensive. Interestingly, that same word was used last month by another poster who I also find balanced, intelligent and readable

On both occasions, I reacted on the thread saying I was surprised the word was a. Used and b. Still there.

My question is.....what is the correct thing to do on THIS forum when people use words we don't like? I think it reflects badly on us that these words are allowed to remain. When one googles anything to do with Switzerland, we are often the first, second and third options, so what we write here is very public.

I would hope that the Mods would filter and remove, but on neither occasion did they. A public spat seems unseemly if the person noted the complaint and reacted without changing it, entrenching the opinion by pushing harder. The red triangle feels over the top, and a PM seems like one is doing a Mods job by proxy.

I would hope...and this is what i have done in the past....that when we post something to which somebody reacts and says that this WORD is offensive, that we change it. Not if its crucial to the argument or the meaning, but if it is just a bad choice of word which is culturally insensitive, why can't we self-mod and apologise and move on?

Last edited by Caviarchips; 30.09.2011 at 09:23. Reason: Taken out the word to avoid the focus of the question being distracted
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:15
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

Where can you draw the line??

Different people react differently to different words.

We cannot change the forum to just fit to words that offend you.

I have met people who have a hissy fit if one uses the word 'hate'. Mainly saying 'omg hate is such a strong word' etc....


Some words also have different acceptance levels in different countries, and considering this forum is made up of people all over the world..........


A line has to be drawn in the sand somwhere. Wherever that is, there will always be people just over the line on both sides.


cheers
SC


p.s. i wonder how long it will be till someone posts 'this thread is retarded'
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:18
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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Where can you draw the line??

Different people react differently to different words.

We cannot change the forum to just fit to words that offend you.

A line has to be drawn in the sand somwhere. Wherever that is, there will always be people just over the line on both sides.


p.s. i wonder how long it will be till someone posts 'this thread is retarded'
You didn't really answer the question. If I or you find a word offensive, what should we do? Ignore it, i guess is what you're saying?

And what about if you use a word i find offensive and tell you? You ignore it too?
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:18
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

I agree with your post, and would hope for the same. I would like to see the EF become a more respectful, aware and sensitive place.

I think the most I can expect / hope / attempt is to start a dialogue when these comments come up on the EF (or in real life)...after that it is to each their own how they respond since I can only control me. This truth is both liberating and frustrating sometimes.
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:19
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

How about not getting offended so easily? Just an idea.
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:21
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

it's down to the reader to use their inbuilt filters.

FWIW, a retard for me is a stupid person and not anyone with a mental issue.
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:21
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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How about not getting offended so easily? Just an idea.
Again..not really the point i was making. Its not about when it is right and wrong to be offended, its about when it does happen....what is the best thing to do?
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:26
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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You didn't really answer the question. If I or you find a word offensive, what should we do? Ignore it, i guess is what you're saying?

And what about if you use a word i find offensive and tell you? You ignore it too?

Sorry its a bit early for me


It depends, if you dropped the 'N-bomb' without good reason (yes there are circumstances where it can be used) i would hit u up with red blobs and then just move on with my life without losing any sleep.

If Ouchboy posts (on the PS3 thread): 'dont buy MW3 the enemy AI is ghey'........(not that he would because MW3 will be amazing lol).....i would not start crying or post that he is being homophobic. I would just not buy the game. The same would apply if he used 'retarded' instead of 'ghey'.

cheers
SC
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:28
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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it's down to the reader to use their inbuilt filters.

FWIW, a retard for me is a stupid person and not anyone with a mental issue.
That word isn't what the thread was meant to be about, so I removed it.

Once again.....what we say here is public. If several people on here find a word offensive (whatever that may be) chances are that people in googleland will too.

I am asking....as a community on here.....when this happens, what do we think is the right thing to do?

Ignore it is fine, a valid answer...but that doesn't feel right to me. Different words have different connotations in different cultures....what is ok for you maybe isnt ok for me. "ignore it" means that i need to find your cultural norms ok. "ignore it" means that you won't learn what is unacceptable to different people around the world and you may use that word i n a work or social environment with bigger consequences
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:33
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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That word isn't what the thread was meant to be about, so I removed it.

Once again.....what we say here is public. If several people on here find a word offensive (whatever that may be) chances are that people in googleland will too.

I am asking....as a community on here.....when this happens, what do we think is the right thing to do?

Ignore it is fine, a valid answer...but that doesn't feel right to me. Different words have different connotations in different cultures....what is ok for you maybe isnt ok for me. "ignore it" means that i need to find your cultural norms ok. "ignore it" means that you won't learn what is unacceptable to different people around the world and you may use that word i n a work or social environment with bigger consequences
I suggest if ignore doesnt work, it means you feel you need to do something about it. I suggest a quick pm to the poster politely letting them know that the word offends you. If they continue to use the word, then you can consider it offensive and act accordingly. At least allow the poster the chance to understand your feelings.

Last edited by grumpygit; 30.09.2011 at 09:44.
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:35
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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That word isn't what the thread was meant to be about, so I removed it.


Well replace it with another then. Unless you use specific examples all these posts are to 'airy-fairy'.

I am sure for some people just saying 'omg' or 'holy crap' is offensive.

cheers
SC
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:36
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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How about not getting offended so easily? Just an idea.
I believe that as a person with privilege, I have a responsibility to stand up, for, and with people that are a minority and are treated as less than because of it.

Why not get offended? Because it's offensive to not be treated with respect or as an equal.

How about trying to be more understanding and supportive of differences?
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:38
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

alright, a question:

is something offensive if you're not offended?
is something offensive if you are offended?
is something offensive if you know or see that someone else is offended but you are not?

I think the use of the groan and reputation means that it changes how you receive the posted message (and remember it is posted text that you're reading).

Someone with lots of green dots posts something, has no groans and could be offensive.....you let it fly; someone with red dots posts exactly the same text and you will receive it differently.

I think we also must remember that not everyone has English as their first language, not everyone is as intelligent as you, me and DB and some people are trolls or make mistakes.

The more you make of something, the more it becomes. There's too much on the Internet for it to stick out like a sore thumb, in my opinion.
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:38
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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How about trying to be more understanding and supportive of differences?



This is a two way road.

Why not be understanding and supportive of the fact that the person who wrote/said the offending word, does not find that word offensive????


cheers
SC
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:40
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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This is a two way road.

Why not be understanding and supportive of the fact that the person who wrote/said the offending word, does not find that word offensive????


cheers
SC
indeed - we could remark about the fact that it seems normal for 4-year-old kids in Zurich Kindergartens to say "Scheisse" but a 4-year-old English-speaking kid saying "sh1t" would be frowned upon. It's all about coding/decoding.
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:42
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

If there is no real sentiment to the use of the "offensive" word I normally just think the person is ignorant and hasn't been brought up properly, and I just have a roll-eyes moment.

Come to think of it - I don't find any word offensive as a stand alone word, it's all part of language and you have to take the bad as well as the good.

It's the sentiment that would get me ruffled but then again, I just think to myself that I'm glad I'm not as pig-ignorant as that poster.
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:43
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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indeed - we could remark about the fact that it seems normal for 4-year-old kids in Zurich Kindergartens to say "Scheisse" but a 4-year-old English-speaking kid saying "sh1t" would be frowned upon. It's all about coding/decoding.
No 4 year old kids here though Shit is frowned upon too? Wow! I learn new things by the minute online.
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:44
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

To answer the original question of what to do when you find a post or part of it offensive, you can click on the red triangle ( ) found in top right of each post, to report it to a mod.

However, I found it jokingly hypocritical when it's accepted to write WTF or s**t when everyone knows what is implied, and certainly with the former, many might find it offensive if written in full and the second is common enough that to write it correctly shouldn't be a problem.

I think that when such words are used they should be viewed in context and taken with a pinch of salt.
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:46
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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Caviar I think you are being bit too dramatic.
Don't worry...I'm not stomping up and down the halls or looking for a backdoor way of criticising the posters last night....

It is a genuine question which some people have got, some not.

When YOU are offended by something, I don't care if its what offends me, I don't care if it is the N-word or the use of OMG...but WHEN it happens.....what is the right thing to do....
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Old 30.09.2011, 09:46
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Re: EFtiquette - What to do when we find words offensive?

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However, I found it jokingly hypocritical when it's accepted to write WTF or s**t when everyone knows what is implied, and certainly with the former, many might find it offensive if written in full and the second is common enough that to write it correctly shouldn't be a problem.

I think that when such words are used they should be viewed in context and taken with a pinch of salt.

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